Beware the Nanny State is here!

I also think it was kindly meant but the tone of the enquiry was maybe a bit "off".

I hope you have the details of the person who called so you can call them if you do need help at some point in future!

Meanwhile, you are lucky to both be fit and well.
Sorry you were upset by the call.

Could it be a friend or neighbour that has paid you a visit seen that your are not as tidy as they are( many many people are not tidy) and made an assumption that you are not safe. That’s what it sounds like. I too wouldn’t be happy either. I’d be livid

Need a bit more info here- It depends what you mean by untidy- is your front garden a mess with rubbish everywhere? I wouldn’t like to live next to a messy house, possible haven for rodents etc.

My husband of nearly 90 years of age is a little stooped nowadays and I, twelve years his junior, am impeded by obesity so cannot walk as well as I could wish.

Sorry but I would say that to a concerned onlooker there may appear to be 2 vulnerable adults in your house. I know you will disagree as you think you are in sound health and able to take care of yourselves.

I think this was meant kindly but I can understand your annoyance that anyone should have the temerity to want to get you some assistance. We all think we're superhuman and nothing will ever happen to us and we'll always be able to cope. But things do happen unexpectedly. Especially as we get older.

If one of you was to have an accident and the other not be able to get help quickly enough there would be loud screams all over GN that someone should have seen that you might need some help, and why did no one report it???

I’d be livid too, OP! As for ‘kind and well-intentioned’, well, maybe it was, but it does somewhat smack of bossy/interfering/do-good-ing, too.

Fael, the case you quote is rather different. Dementia makes a great difference to this sort of scenario.

I think that it might be worth you getting a device you can both wear at home.. and subscription to the providing company, in case either of you do need emergency help.
From £60 pa if you look on line..

I understand very well why you are hurt, angry and offended. I would be too.

I second the advice to get in touch with Social Services yourself to check whether the call did actually come from them, as a result of an anonymous tip-off, or whatever they call it.

It is better to know that it was a genuine call, whether the person who contacted them was justified or not in so doing, than to be afraid it might be some kind of scam.

I agree with others. I don't think social services would take that tactless approach. It's best to establish whether this is a social worker, or a prankster. Good luck to you. Keep your house exactly Hoe you like it.

Highly suspicious calls. Social Services would never start a conversation in such an insensitive way. Someone is being deliberately unkind.

I may be the only one here that likes the idea of a Nanny State. If it means a return to tv information films about safety etc I am all in favour.

I think contacting adult SS's is an excellent idea SingingRabbits to make sure the calls were from them. If they were, the next time you're chatting to friends, neighbours and family tell them what happened and how you feel about it.

However well intentioned if whoever it was knows this has understandably upset you, they wont make the mistake of doing it again .

AreWeThereYet

^My husband of nearly 90 years of age is a little stooped nowadays and I, twelve years his junior, am impeded by obesity so cannot walk as well as I could wish.^

Sorry but I would say that to a concerned onlooker there may appear to be 2 vulnerable adults in your house. I know you will disagree as you think you are in sound health and able to take care of yourselves.

I think this was meant kindly but I can understand your annoyance that anyone should have the temerity to want to get you some assistance. We all think we're superhuman and nothing will ever happen to us and we'll always be able to cope. But things do happen unexpectedly. Especially as we get older.

If one of you was to have an accident and the other not be able to get help quickly enough there would be loud screams all over GN that someone should have seen that you might need some help, and why did no one report it???

Of course the OP and her husband are vulnerable, look at the Safeguarding policy, adults over 65 are vulnerable simply by age and in this case you have obesity and a 90 year old who is stooped. No brainer. This does not mean they are not managing, but it does sound like some support would be good for the household. We are however entitled to live how we want as long as it does not affect others. Are you both in agreement that is how you wish to live. Do you both manage to shower or strip wash daily, had a cooked meal and a good night's sleep. if not perhaps some private help might be a good idea, you say you can afford it. Why be so reluctant to accept a visit From Social, they are there to help you and will respect your choice to live how you wish unless it is dangerous for either of you or others of course. Do you entertain much? Does your family visit you?

Vulnerability
Being vulnerable is defined as in need of special care, support, or protection because of age, disability, risk of abuse or neglect.

adults over 65 are vulnerable simply by age

Well, I'm astonished.

I know over 65s who are very active and caring for others, in fact I know over 80s who are doing just that.

Classing over 65s as vulnerable is really quite insulting, particularly as State Pension age is now 66, increasing to 67.

If over 65s are vulnerable^ how can they be expected to work?

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adults over 65 are vulnerable simply by age

What a ridiculous idea. DH was still working in the offshore engineering industry until 75. Travelling abroad to 'interesting' countries, going offshore, striding around shipyatds in freezing temperatures, supervising £multimillion projects.

Thank goodness it never occurred to anyone that his age meant that he was 'vulnerable'

Did they call on a landline or your mobile? I'm suspicious by nature and would have thought a welfare visit would have been done in person......understanding though that there are staff shortages. Where did they get your phone number? If you are under a doctor and have seen a medical professional recently, or even in the past month or so, they may have referred you if they had concerns as they would certainly have your phone number.

Take it yoh were contacted via a landline phone number and not a mobile as this would have to be known by whoever contacted SS. Don't be distraught at the contact, seems there is someone who is at least noticing the issues you are dealing with and probably thought you could perhaps have help if needed. There are many who would be grateful to know there was someone out there who cared.

No, is the answer to your highly biased assumption. I am not THAT obese and am very aware of hygiene issues. Good heavens! This is very amusing.

Thank you for your response. I strongly suspect that the reporting person was a young (30 something) police officer who knocked on our door at midnight recently because his team were searching for a man in the area and wanted to know if he had been in our back garden. He asked to come through to have a look and it was as he was departing that he said something about would we like him to "contact the council". I said, "No thank you", he said, "sure?" I replied that yes I was sure. I maintain that he had no business going against my clearly stated wishes and take great exception to that. I suspect he was basing his opinion on seeing an untidy dining room and kitchen where the washing up had not yet been done and where my dear husband had left sundry items scattered all over the table! Does nobody else ever get untidy at home? Just because we are old and don't move quickly does not mean that we need "care", oh and we don't smell by the way!

We have made our forward plans. I am not the type of person to wait for others to offer help, being naturally proactive. That being said, I have also watched older relatives cope with the Care System in this country and vowed to learn from it when my turn to be old arrived!

Hi Cossy, thanks for your response. You obviously "get it"! Four dogs, how lovely!! I find people's homes remarkably empty. We have pictures on our walls together with bookcases crammed with books. My husband, particularly, has always generated a lot of paper. People think books are 'untidy'. If we had a great, bloomin' telly covering a wall in every room, no doubt they would accept us as normal! Of course we would like more space and more storage but we don't have dementia and, as I've said elsewhere, we don't smell (hilarious).

I'm not.

I am concerned that you let a "police officer" into your house at night.
Was he in uniform? Did he show you ID?
Think you should ring social services and find out if they have any record of having rung you. If not thus should bd reported to the police.
Alarm bells are ringing.

SingingRabbits

Hi Cossy, thanks for your response. You obviously "get it"! Four dogs, how lovely!! I find people's homes remarkably empty. We have pictures on our walls together with bookcases crammed with books. My husband, particularly, has always generated a lot of paper. People think books are 'untidy'. If we had a great, bloomin' telly covering a wall in every room, no doubt they would accept us as normal! Of course we would like more space and more storage but we don't have dementia and, as I've said elsewhere, we don't smell (hilarious).

If you don’t want to be criticised for having a messy cluttered house, perhaps you should avoid criticising those who prefer a clean, uncluttered environment.