Beware the Nanny State is here!

Consider it a Welfare Check, and be thankful it happened sooner rather than later: www.bbc.com/news/articles/cd731j3004lo

Spare a thought for social workers who tread a precarious line between being interfering and neglectful. The police officer too may have had in mind the 'safeguarding' duty that the police have in addition to their myriad other responsibilities. 'Safeguarding; is not only about vulnerable children and abused women. Increasingly, the needs of older people have to be considered.
By the way, Sago, I think it was you who mentioned hedges overhanging the footway. This is an offence and reporting it is not 'interference". I once found myself having to walk in the gutter to avoid an overgrown hedge which I reported to the local council. The next time I walked that way, the hedge had been trimmed.

I think you should be grateful SingingRabbits if the young policeman, whilst carrying out his normal duties, cared enough about your living circumstances to remember to make a report to Social Services..

Your attitude frankly baffles me..

I suspect the 'over-65s being vulnerable' is just something that has never been updated, along with a lot of other legislation. The mills of the Gods and all that... it was probably just bad luck that someone saw the place a bit untidier than normal (happens to us all).

During lockdown we had 3 different groups knocking on our door asking if we were okay, did we need help, etc. Our initial response was 'how old do they think we are??' but we realised that we are the oldest people in our road. To the young couples in most of the houses, who we rarely see and don't know, we do look old. (I'm 68). We had a giggle about it and thanked them for taking the time to check.

Earlier this year my 91 year old mother in law returned home from a few weeks in hospital, finding help for her to stay in her own home wasn't easy!!
If the policeman has passed on your details to social services and they have responded so quickly (and it's not a scam) then personally I think you should be grateful he cared enough to bother and you may be offered some assistance.
I doubt he would have made the referral just because the dishes hadn't been washed tbh.

Ziggy62

Earlier this year my 91 year old mother in law returned home from a few weeks in hospital, finding help for her to stay in her own home wasn't easy!!
If the policeman has passed on your details to social services and they have responded so quickly (and it's not a scam) then personally I think you should be grateful he cared enough to bother and you may be offered some assistance.
I doubt he would have made the referral just because the dishes hadn't been washed tbh.

quite...

In the course of their work police officers enter a lot of homes.
I imagine he saw conditions that concerned him enough to warrant him making that call.
He was also covering himself because of what if.

We don't know if it was the police office anyway!
🤷‍♂️

We all have our own standards of tidyness and a lot of us value our privacy. I completely agree there's something unsettling about people being able to report you to Social Services, seemingly without good reason and without your knowledge.

I don't know how much power Social Services have or what they do if they receive more than one or two phone calls. It might be worth looking into where you could get some help privately, for the future, when you might not be able to cope as well as you do now. Then, if Social Services contact you again, you could tell them firmly that you're coping very well thank you and that you know where and how to obtain help in the future, should you need it.

I would have been furious too. Obviously the police visit when the house was untidy touched a raw nerve. Odd episode.

I don’t call 90 and stooped vulnerable and I don’t call obese and slow moving vulnerable. People can live as they please providing their life style doesn’t impinge on their neighbours.

I think it unwarranted interference to make a referral to Social Care without telling you. No two ways about it.

NotSpaghetti

We don't know if it was the police office anyway!
🤷‍♂️

The OP has pointed the finger at the police officer who entered her house.

I think people are being hard on the police. When thigs go wrong, when an elderly couple are found ill or collapse for lack of nourishment or are found dead at home, the first thing that is done is that Social Services are blamed for not picking the problem up. Then ift he police or any other public service has had any contact with that person who is blamed.

So, nowadays, any official person having contact with the public is trained to look out for any sign that anyone who could be vulnerable, older people, mothers with children, etc etc and report it to the relevant authority.

Now you say We are not tidy people, my husband and I! In fact some people might consider our home somewhat shambolic!

I am afraid to say this, please do not take it amiss, but someone coming into a home that is in the householder's own words shambolic may well see it as a house looking like a tip and interprete this as a house where the elderly occupiers - and your DH is 90 - are failing to cope and, as his job requires reported it on.

I used to work with elderly people, visiting them at home, and, yes, I used to go to some houses that looked as if a tornado had been round them and it is very difficult to see the difference between this being a sign that the occupier is failing and needs support and that the occupier is just happy living in chaaos. And to be honest, nine times out of ten, if a house looked shambolic, it was a sign of someone uable to cope.

So, Ok, in this case you and your DH are the one in ten, and somebody has to be that person, but in the other nine times the polic office has reported a household to social services, they have actually needed that help and his report may have saved that person from harm.

M0nica

I think people are being hard on the police. When thigs go wrong, when an elderly couple are found ill or collapse for lack of nourishment or are found dead at home, the first thing that is done is that Social Services are blamed for not picking the problem up. Then ift he police or any other public service has had any contact with that person who is blamed.

So, nowadays, any official person having contact with the public is trained to look out for any sign that anyone who could be vulnerable, older people, mothers with children, etc etc and report it to the relevant authority.

Now you say We are not tidy people, my husband and I! In fact some people might consider our home somewhat shambolic!

I am afraid to say this, please do not take it amiss, but someone coming into a home that is in the householder's own words shambolic may well see it as a house looking like a tip and interprete this as a house where the elderly occupiers - and your DH is 90 - are failing to cope and, as his job requires reported it on.

I used to work with elderly people, visiting them at home, and, yes, I used to go to some houses that looked as if a tornado had been round them and it is very difficult to see the difference between this being a sign that the occupier is failing and needs support and that the occupier is just happy living in chaaos. And to be honest, nine times out of ten, if a house looked shambolic, it was a sign of someone uable to cope.

So, Ok, in this case you and your DH are the one in ten, and somebody has to be that person, but in the other nine times the polic office has reported a household to social services, they have actually needed that help and his report may have saved that person from harm.

exactly.. and I re-iterate that some sort of alarm system would be useful.. a fall or a fire could happen at any time...

petra the OP is only assuming it was the police officer.
She does not know.

In all the years working alongside both the Police and Social Care I didn't find either of them easily thrown by untidiness.
... they may well be concerned about hazards though.

NotSpaghetti The OP used the term 'shambolic', which rather suggests something more than a bit of untidiness. I find her story of the police officer entirely believable, ie that it was a police officer and that he probably spoke, through formal channels to Social Services.

I quite agree that untidiness would not bother them. They see dreadful things and vile and filthy households, which I am sure the OP's is not, but they clearly saw concerns here that needed followup. Follow up was done and there was found to be no problem, or at least the OP could see no problems.

You're right, M0nica but my point was (supposed to be, anyway) that we don't even know if it was the police officer.

You say you don't smell but perhaps your clothes and your home do.

Many years ago myself and several other neighbours were vilified by the local press.
A neighbours pipe had burst. The water froze, she slipped on the ice and died.
She was disabled with curvature of the spine and very frail.
All of us offered no end of help only to be met with abuse.
I gave up on her when she hit me violently with her walking stick.

That's horrible Petra -on all counts!

NotSpaghetti

You're right, M0nica but my point was (supposed to be, anyway) that we don't even know if it was the police officer.

Given, the police office told the OP what the problem was and did nothing to threaten or steal from them, I htink it is reasonable to assume that it was a police officer going about his job, and also noting the state of the house and thinking the couple may need help.

You have only to read some other threads on GN to know how many people have very elderly relatives, who insist they are managing when clearly they are not and repell with outrage any suggestions that they get some help.

I fully accept that the OP and her DH are managing well, but, like it or not, someone or a couple who are not managing use the same language and express their outrage in the same way as someone who is managing, so it is difficult to tell them apart.

I understand how the OP feels but I think her outrage is misplaced. No, she doesn't need help, but supposing that they were struggling. To have it picked up and some help arranged that enables them to stay in comfort in their home, could well be a relief.

I am 81, hale and hearty and able to do everything I ever did, but I have seen friends and family younger than me struggling and failing, with dementia and other problems and I accept that it is quite natural, for example, for the hospital to ring me before a recent minor procedure to check whether I would need a wheelchair to get to the clinic or whether I could manage unaided - even though it rather jolted me at the time. As it was Isurned the stairs and walked up the two floors to the clinic.

Sorry, I think I've used the wrong wording here, M0nica - I'm pretty sure the person who presented as a police officer was a police officer for the reasons you reiterate.

What I meant was that we didn't know for certain that it was the police officer who had alerted Social Care - that person could have been someone else altogether. It could have been anyone who thought assistance may be needed such as a neighbour or a friend or an associate through a church or a social group for example.

Sorry my wording was rather ambiguous.

JdotJ

You say you don't smell but perhaps your clothes and your home do.

The OP is in her 70's why would you assume her home or clothes smell. I detest the Nanny state. I would be annoyed too.

rafichagran I think you would be very glad of it if you were struggling to get out to shop, or couldn't wash because you could not get in and out of thebath or stand at a sink to have a wash down.and there was no one to help you.

I think we should be grateful that the 'nanny' state is there to help those who cannot help themselves.

To say you are impeded with obesity does raise a lot more questions than answers. You must see that. I can see how you are upset as you feel all is ok. The situation has to be looked at as like Fael said people often wont seek help or know how to,

Probably well intentioned, why are you getting your knickers in a twist there’s no harm in allowing social work to visit just to make sure you and you’re husband are safe. Take care