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AIBU

To think this is really inconsiderate

(68 Posts)
Vintagejazz Wed 02-Oct-24 12:42:02

My friends daughter has a small baby who is colicky. He cries non stop between 5 and 7 most evenings and then starts again at about 11 and they could be up until 5 with him.
My friend and her husband have an apartment in Spain and have offered it to their daughter and son in law for a 2 week holiday with the baby. It's a third floor apartment in a building that's mostly holiday rentals. My friend said to me cheerfully 'God help whoever's in the apartment below. They won't get a wink of sleep. But Ben and Laura really need a holiday'.

AIBU to think this is really inconsiderate. I have every sympathy for Ben and Laura (not their real names) but the people renting the apartment below might also really need a holiday, or have saved hard earned money for a fortnight away. Now they're just going to be exhausted and on edge.

Ir is that just a risk you have to take when you book a holiday apartment?

TerriS Thu 03-Oct-24 20:22:16

theworriedwell

The other thing with colic is it can suddenly stop. One of mine had it and suddenly one day he just settled. A fluke I thought but the next day was the same and suddenly I realised we'd survived and life looked better. Maybe this baby will have got over his colic by the time they go away.

I agree - mine turned off the colic like a switch at 12 weeks. Couldn’t find the energy to have a shower, never mind pack a suitcase during that time. Maybe the baby’s parents could do with a health visitor’s expertise - baby massage works a treat apparently.

MissAdventure Thu 03-Oct-24 20:28:44

It would ruin my holiday, for sure.
Whether I was thr parent or the neighbour.

pandapatch Thu 03-Oct-24 22:51:49

In reply to the original question I think it;s a risk you take. But having said that I wouldn't want to take a colicky baby through an airport, on a plane, to a strange place and I would feel bad about the neighbours. it would just make everything worse

Seakay Fri 04-Oct-24 00:09:23

I think that the attitude of the person loaning the apartment stinks; they are well aware that their 'generosity' will cause misery for someone else (as well as for whole plane full of people, probably)

It would be rude to assume that Ben and Laura chose to have a child without considering how their lives might change, so if their baby is too young to be left with the mother/mother-in-law who so wants them to have a break, then why do they assume it is old enough to spend hours in airports, travel on a plane and spend two weeks in a strange place?

NotSpaghetti Fri 04-Oct-24 00:52:53

Just in case anyone wondered, Merbentyl is contra-indicated in babies under six months as the risks of pretty bad side effects is too high.
I know they include seizures, muscle weakness and coma in too high a percentage of young babies.

I remember Ken Clarke talking about it in Parliament - I think it was to do with a proposed ban.

Esmay Fri 04-Oct-24 01:26:03

I'd feel bad about ruining some deserving family's holiday .
But Ben and Laura need one , which is understandable .
I'd try and find a reason and cure for the colic before going or the holiday won't be much of a break .
My firstborn had severe colic .
I'd still be in my nightie at lunchtime -frantic for someone else to try to comfort her so I could use the bathroom .
I had no joy at the clinic and another lecture on breast feeding .
Eventually I managed to get Merbentyl ,which certainly helped .
Through her childhood , she grew and ate well , but had a tendency to suffer from wind and offensive diarrhoea .
Again -no joy from the GP who told me that I was neurotic .
My daughter is lactose and gluten intolerant .
Her reaction can threaten to turn into anaphylaxic shock so she takes more care now she's older .
Food intolerance and allergies run on my mother's side of the family.
Some of my older relatives ended up with colostomies and ileostomies .
As for me , it's been a lifetime of merbervine .
I consider myself fortunate that I haven't ended up like my cousins .
When I go out I have to take a change of underwear and my friends are used to my sudden dash to the loo .
Of course , the colic could pass off as she matures .
I hope it does .

Tamayra Fri 04-Oct-24 08:30:36

Agree Best thing ever
Robert Lever cranial osteopath in Northwood Middlx

Goldieoldie15 Sun 06-Oct-24 03:48:21

With due respect have you really nothing more worthwhile to spend your time worrying about?

Ali08 Sun 06-Oct-24 10:48:48

It might soothe the baby. That would have been my luck, if I'd had a colicky baby and gone away! Then come back and the colic starts up again lol.

Crossstitchfan Sun 06-Oct-24 10:49:06

Goldieoldie15

With due respect have you really nothing more worthwhile to spend your time worrying about?

It always amuses me when people say ‘with due respect’ and then go on to disrespect the recipient! 😂

Ali08 Sun 06-Oct-24 10:49:08

Oh, yeah, you are being unreasonable!

Sennelier1 Thu 10-Oct-24 17:20:57

Ben and Laura still wont get any sleep, only now they will be sleepless in Spain. Why would you knowingly impose this on innocent neighbours? Wait a few months and then go for a réal vacation?

Desdemona Thu 10-Oct-24 17:30:17

If I was your friend I would offer to look after the baby for a few nights while they have a few undisturbed nights in a hotel not too far from home - or even just stay at home!
That would be great for recharging their batteries without the hassle of going through airports etc with a young baby and they could be nearby if needed.

Caleo Thu 10-Oct-24 17:51:52

Poor baby! What is the matter with him? Has he been examined by a doctor, or health visitor and his wee diet checked?

theworriedwell Sat 12-Oct-24 18:20:59

Sennelier1

Ben and Laura still wont get any sleep, only now they will be sleepless in Spain. Why would you knowingly impose this on innocent neighbours? Wait a few months and then go for a réal vacation?

Maybe their neighbours at home will welcome a week of peace and quiet.

I remember apologising to a neighbour about my screaming baby, her husband had died when I was pregnant and she said it was comforting to hear other people when she couldn't sleep. I don't think many neighbours would feel the same.

Ava25 Thu 24-Oct-24 03:13:07

That's life, babies cry. That's like saying i should never go on holiday because I snore. Nobody's business

Franski Thu 24-Oct-24 06:51:30

I think you are being uber considerate on behalf of holiday makers you have never met. Maybe it annoys you that your friend doesn't seem to care about the noise that the babies might make. But you can't cover every eventuality and theres a fine line between being self aware and living apologetically. I hope they get a good break, that the babies sleep and everyond has a great holiday.