My youngest son and his wife recently became parents for the first time, having a little girl 6 months ago.
My daughter-in-law's mother has been very hands-on since the baby was borne and now spends quality time with her, bonding. I have only been with the baby one time by myself, and then her parents were in and out. She, the baby, is unfamiliar with me as she has never bonded with me, her paternal grandfather and I are invited to visit when her parents (one or both) are in-house.
The maternal grandmother, however, has bonded with the baby since birth and now enjoys serveral days a week with her, alone, even though she lives 2 hours away. She picks up the baby from daycare, early, brings her to my son & d-i-l's home, where they spend the afternoon together until the parents arrive hom. The maternal grandmother spends the night and takes the baby to daycare the next day sometime before noon, but is able to spend additional time with the baby.
Also, trips to the maternal grandmother's home is quite often, usually 2-3 trips a month, spending 2-3 days/nights. When they travel to my home, overnight is usually one night and the baby is never left alone with us.
i feel we are treated very unfair, I understand the uneasiness they have in leaving her with us, because she cries because she isn't familiar with us and she will not be until she learns to know us.
I need to somehow learn to accept this and is this something that other paternal grandparents experience or is it just US?
I very unsettled by all of this.
