Left alone

Pascal, people can't help it when they are ignorant. Sometimes it's presumed people are savvy when they actually aren't.

I’m concerned that it might be icy & you may fall,explain the situation to them,if your independent they may not realize &
just think Mum is fine she can do it.

Our needs change quite quickly with babies & older people. Just because you've fed the cats before I dont think you should put extra stress on yourself this year.

Let your daughter find a cat sitter ..I get one, visits twice a day, for my cat on holidays & if she can't find one then cattery it will have to be

No I don't think you're expecting too much, I have a ring doorbell camera that I use for my mum, nothing intrusive, its in the hall, but means I can see she's moving about! I would tell your family you're starting to feel a bit frail & vulnerable.

Would it give you piece of mind to have a carer /neighbour/friend visit once a day for a cuppa whilst they're away? At least then if anything happened you know someone will be popping over?

This sounds a tad harsh, you are both vulnerable yet they are leaving you alone knowing this is winter and anything could happen, also they are expecting you to care for their pets?
As Smileless2012 said the least they can do is arrange for a neighbour or friend to pop in for the cats, and perhaps ask if they wouldn’t mind popping in to see if you are both ok, if there is anything you need etc.
In any case they should make sure you have all the groceries and medicines you need before going.
I lost one parent in his mid fifties, the other in her early seventies. I would really love to have them around at Xmas.

Thank you all for your thoughtful replies to my post.
I have now told my DD that I feel vulnerable because of potential falls and so will not be taking on the responsibility of the cats. I shall take the advice of carrying a mobile phone which I can keep in a bum-bag. OH would never consider a hotel stay, and I don't enjoy "enforced jollity" as in communal Christmas events, but I have found a lady who delivers Christmas dinners which will give me a nice day free of cooking.
I like the sound of Care Calls and will investigate that.
I must stress that, in spite of my age, I am completely independent and need no care from family or others, but do appreciate having family around just in case. In emergency, I would call 111 for medical events or trusted workmen that I know for practical issues.

Luminance

You are in a very fortunate situation with family so close by and checking on you for most of the year. They cannot be expected to endure being home all year round incase they are needed by you. If you are concerned then you must take a route to ensure you are checked on daily. If you do not wish to feed the cat it is easily done to ask them to make other arrangements. Any of us could fall at any time and we really must have things in place to get help if needed. A mobile phone on your person is a good idea.

Well you certainly didn’t read the post. The OP gave her grown family the house and lives in an annexe with her OH. They sound like lovely caring parents for doing this, and both are in their 80s with poor health/history of falls. They are not expecting anything from their family except the minimum care, i.e. being cared for over the Xmas period, and if the family can’t do this they need to arrange for someone to feed the pets and check in on the parents.
This is for me a no brainer.
Am sorry you can’t see this.

chicken

Thank you all for your thoughtful replies to my post.
I have now told my DD that I feel vulnerable because of potential falls and so will not be taking on the responsibility of the cats. I shall take the advice of carrying a mobile phone which I can keep in a bum-bag. OH would never consider a hotel stay, and I don't enjoy "enforced jollity" as in communal Christmas events, but I have found a lady who delivers Christmas dinners which will give me a nice day free of cooking.
I like the sound of Care Calls and will investigate that.
I must stress that, in spite of my age, I am completely independent and need no care from family or others, but do appreciate having family around just in case. In emergency, I would call 111 for medical events or trusted workmen that I know for practical issues.

I think this is entirely wonderful and the Christmas dinner delivery will make the day so much more relaxing for you with your feet up! The older style mobile phones have a much longer battery life and a much more user friendly interface.

I think it is unkind of this family not to consider spending at least part of Christmas day with their parents, never mind the caring in case of......, It is the social aspect.
How has this thankless generation arrived at this?

Leavening you alone and you feed the cats? Words fail me. Do not even think about accepting this selfishness. No, no. And, in case you did not understand me - No.

Caleo

Pascal, people can't help it when they are ignorant. Sometimes it's presumed people are savvy when they actually aren't.

I didn't say anything about people being ignorant..

chicken

Thank you all for your thoughtful replies to my post.
I have now told my DD that I feel vulnerable because of potential falls and so will not be taking on the responsibility of the cats. I shall take the advice of carrying a mobile phone which I can keep in a bum-bag. OH would never consider a hotel stay, and I don't enjoy "enforced jollity" as in communal Christmas events, but I have found a lady who delivers Christmas dinners which will give me a nice day free of cooking.
I like the sound of Care Calls and will investigate that.
I must stress that, in spite of my age, I am completely independent and need no care from family or others, but do appreciate having family around just in case. In emergency, I would call 111 for medical events or trusted workmen that I know for practical issues.

I'm glad you told your DD that you won't be looking after the cats.
Finding someone who will deliver Christmas dinners sounds an excellent idea; I know some pubs round here do this.

You sound very capable but it's just as well to have plans in place in case you do need help.

Have a lovely Christmas.

i may be wrong but maybe family didnt really think this through they are used to you being around and with Christmas they think that they are just excited at being away.
1 i understand pendants dont work in some areas can you arrange for your family to ring at certain times throughout day and evening? even if out these days they have mobiles so if they dont get a reply they could ask police to check on you
2 tell them to get a pet feeder or sitter if like we do they have a home sitter for the cats they are kind folk who would keep an eye out or answer a knock on the wall! if you are worcs area quite happy to do it for you
3 would it be financially viable for you to get a carer to pop in to check on you both maybe morning and evening see if you are ok just well they are away

Tell them how you feel. May be get someone to live in to help whilst they are away.

My DD has a "rotating cat feeder" when she goes away for a couple of days. We joke about the cat spinning round on the floor! If she is away longer she employs a "cat sitter" who is brilliant - and far cheaper than the cattery (which will probably be fully booked over Christmas by now.

Whilst I understand where other posters are coming from re the insensitivity of the rest of the family for leaving their parents alone, many of us oldies do not have family close by anyway so always have to make their own arrangements for "what if?" situations. This post has reminded me that we need to re-think some of our own situations.

I am absolutely astonished by the lack of care and compassion being shown to Chicken and her OH by her family. Yes, lots of practical suggestions made regarding managing the situation physically which are potentially workable but, to me, they are being abandoned. This is clearly neglect and potentially elder abuse. What happened to family loyalty and a duty of care? What is happening to society?

The OP is continuously saying that she does not have any care from her family, they are simply not used to considering the parents needs. I agree Xmas is special and it seems harsh to all go away, but OP says herself she does not enjoy a forced jolly. I think the OP is doing right as we should all do, get a plan B in place for herself and her husband but of course tell the children the cats are their problem. Sounds like they have accepted that anyway. I am sure the family considers themself very lucky to live how they do, but you could not expect them never to go out together, just in case. It is up to them all to sit down if the time has come for the parents to have support needs and eventually care. Therefore a plan B is essential.

First off tell your DD you are unable to look after the pets, they are not your responsibility, they need to get someone else to do it.
Secondly you can always carry your phone with you when up and about.
Thirdly your DD and her family also have a life of their own, so get a friend or caring company to check on you a couple of times a day whilst they are away.
I have falls due to Parkinsons but I do not expect my family to be at my beck and call all the time. It is my choose to live independently, not theirs. You need help with husband and you so go out and get it.
Sorry to be so blunt. I hope you get the help you need. Discuss worries with DD as she may have already made plans to ensure you get the help.

chicken

Thank you all for your thoughtful replies to my post.
I have now told my DD that I feel vulnerable because of potential falls and so will not be taking on the responsibility of the cats. I shall take the advice of carrying a mobile phone which I can keep in a bum-bag. OH would never consider a hotel stay, and I don't enjoy "enforced jollity" as in communal Christmas events, but I have found a lady who delivers Christmas dinners which will give me a nice day free of cooking.
I like the sound of Care Calls and will investigate that.
I must stress that, in spite of my age, I am completely independent and need no care from family or others, but do appreciate having family around just in case. In emergency, I would call 111 for medical events or trusted workmen that I know for practical issues.

Well done, you can look forward to and enjoy your Christmas now 🎄

This is wrong on so many levels, especially at Christmas. You have been so very generous to your family and they are taking advantage of you. If they want a winter holiday, they could go in the February half term and make arrangements for carers to make sure you and your husband are ok. My husband and I only have my mother left out of our parents and, while she is amazing for her age (and has far better hearing than l do), she is still nearly 83 and tires very easily. My sister and I would never leave her out of any family celebrations. This time, she is spending Christmas with my sister and her family and New Year with us. My Dad had his 77th birthday in October, 2017. At the end of November, he fell and broke his hip. He never truly , by the following Easter, was diagnosed with lung cancer. He died on July 15th 2018. You never know what lies ahead and every precious moment spent with elderly parents is a bonus. As it happens, I have a big birthday next Friday. In normal years, I would go out for a meal, often just with my husband. This time, because it is a special birthday, I am having a small afternoon tea party with family. My mother will be staying with us, of course, but my closest cousin, who is more like a sister than a cousin, will be bringing my uncle. My aunt died earlier in the year. I am, hopefully, not virtue signalling, I enjoy their company and want to make sure they are well. Your daughter does not realise just how fortunate she is to still have both her parents. You have looked after her all your life and now it is time she does the same for you.

*recovered.

Sometimes you have to explain to people what you need because they are wrapped up in their own lives I'm afraid

Carers?
Big Whistle - how big are these woods? If you can’t get a signal!

Tell them straight you are not looking after the cats so tell them to make arrangements for them don’t give in.

chicken

Thank you all for your thoughtful replies to my post.
I have now told my DD that I feel vulnerable because of potential falls and so will not be taking on the responsibility of the cats. I shall take the advice of carrying a mobile phone which I can keep in a bum-bag. OH would never consider a hotel stay, and I don't enjoy "enforced jollity" as in communal Christmas events, but I have found a lady who delivers Christmas dinners which will give me a nice day free of cooking.
I like the sound of Care Calls and will investigate that.
I must stress that, in spite of my age, I am completely independent and need no care from family or others, but do appreciate having family around just in case. In emergency, I would call 111 for medical events or trusted workmen that I know for practical issues.

This is GN at it's best. People helping people.

If an alarm doesn't work does a mobile ??
If it does get a small cross body bag and pop it in there so it's on you at all times maybe cumbersome but necessary if you have a fall you can call an ambulance anyway it's a shame they haven't made your welfare a priority hope you find a solution or maybe have carer/helper to pop in each day to assist and check up on you