Maternity finances with DP - does this seem fair?

Smileless2012

As I've reported both threads, I'll be guided by GNHQ.

Yes, so have I.

At all costs hang on to your own home as you are not married. Anyway even if you are married don't sell it, rent it out, it's your security.

Cold

You might get better replies on Mumsnet rather than Gransnet for grandparents.

I agree. This site is for grandparents.

I would seriously look at the possibility of renting out your property- I think you said you thought you needed more equity?
Maybe you don't?

I would also ask do I truly love and trust this person?

If you do, and he is trustworthy, why would he be out to rip you off?
Planning the baby before the living arrangements is sort of odd to me. Babies are a terrific emotional, practical and financial upheaval.
I don't understand what it is about your relationship that made this your choice.

I also think that we all behave differently.
Some people need to feel they have financial independence within their marriage but neither of us cared.
I was lucky in that we both started with not a lot - but when I inherited it never occurred to me not to put it onto a joint pot.
Having worked in refuge with women fleeing abuse however I can see positives to keeping some money apart!
No one can really make the decision for you unfortunately.

I wish you well for the future but think you should try living together before you make any irreversible changes. Part time living together is very different to full time.

Norah

Perhaps marry, stability for your new family?

Keep your home, make sure (solicitor) it's protected at yours.

Fully agree.

He seems to have invested a tremendous amount of thought and effort into workìng things out very methodically, spreadsheets galore, et al. From the info given it seems the future has been meticulously structured to his advantage, leaving the OP with a feeling of uneasiness and not a few question marks.

A marriage certificate would go some way to legally clarifying the situation and affording OP some neccessary legal security. That's the priority word here: SECURITY.

It's like a business arrangement and it's a pity couples don't get married before having a child. Getting wed shows commitment to each other and gives you rights you don't get as a single mom. Having a child is the biggest and most important life changer, you never stop being a mother. .. As it is keep your own home , rent it out if he doesnt want marriage, it wouldn't do for me, I would be worried why not and probably choose to go it alone and leave him with his spread sheets.