Rejected by hairdresser

Colour makes hair look odd when it becomes porous. I noticed that my hair no longer looked lush and lovely in my 50s, so I had it cropped very short (I had often had very short hair over the decades, so that was no big deal) and embraced the grey (mostly white for me). My hair has been in much better condition ever since.

Yes, a hairdresser can absolutely refuse to color your hair if you fail a strand test, as it means your hair might be too damaged or could react poorly to the intended color, potentially causing significant damage; this is considered a protective measure for your hair health and is a legitimate reason for a stylist to decline the service.

Would you rather they ruined your hair? According to Mr Google ...........Yes, a hairdresser can absolutely refuse to color your hair if you fail a strand test, as it means your hair might be too damaged or could react poorly to the intended color, potentially causing significant damage; this is considered a protective measure for your hair health and is a legitimate reason for a stylist to decline the service.

I got rejected for highlights when I was going to have them done at a local college by a friend and she wasn’t allowed to do it anx only 58 after years of home colouring ! It happens !

Summerlove

Sounds like they are both trying to protect your hair and their reputation.

Try another less scrupulous salon perhaps?

Ohhhhhh!!!!😙

I decided over a year ago to stop dyeing my hair and embrace the grey. Fortunately it didn't end up grey but almost white. I have regular trims by my mobile hairdresser, who herself commented on what a great colour I have and that people pay her to be my silver white. That was compliment enough for me.

I'm sorry you're upset. Failing the strand test because your hair was too porous would be quite logical, home colouring can be quite harsh. Perhaps the salon could specially condition your hair, then colour?

I've my silver hair balayage with colours of blonde. Great care is necessary as I have fine hair, the results are beautiful. Perhaps ask for blonde balayage after conditioning.

Trust the staff to know their job.

Surely as long as you get a regular trim and use good products and strengthening treatments on your hair then professional colouring shouldn’t be a problem? I have difficult fine shoulder length hair but will continue to have my roots done every six weeks. I’m 72 and wouldn’t think of letting my hair go grey - sorry - we’re all different.

I was advised by my hairdresser to give up having lowlights when my hair started to go white. I took her advice and am so glad I did, as I have had compliments on my white hair and of course, saved money! I agree "reject" sounds rather harsh, even if she was right.

Nansnet

Summerlove, it's not just older people who have problems with porous hair. Many young people, who dye their hair regularly have the same issues. Why don't you go back to the salon and ask what they CAN do to help your recover and regain a good condition so that you will be able to have your hair coloured without having bad results. I'm sure they can recommend some great hair treatments to help condition your hair back to being healthy, so why not treat yourself to that instead for the time being?

Where did I say only older people have porous hair?

MillieBoris

Surely as long as you get a regular trim and use good products and strengthening treatments on your hair then professional colouring shouldn’t be a problem? I have difficult fine shoulder length hair but will continue to have my roots done every six weeks. I’m 72 and wouldn’t think of letting my hair go grey - sorry - we’re all different.

I used to think I would never let my hair go grey but during lockdown when going to the hairdresser for my usual highlights was impossible I took a long look in the mirror and decided they no longer suited me. They no longer looked right. I don’t regret going grey at all, and it hasn’t made me look like a tottery old biddy who’s given up. I have shoulder length hair and wear some eye makeup every day. Grey is right for my skin tone now.

I'm a little older than you, Witzend, and only have a very few grey hairs - thanks to my parents. My Dad was a little pepper-and-salt when he died at 78, but mostly a lot of pepper!! And he had a full head of hair when he died!

There was a programme on our local radio station a few years back where the presenter claimed that anyone without grey hair by the time they were 60 must have dyed it and looked ridiculous! Had I not been driving at the time, I would have phoned in and told him - yes, a man! - what I thought! I had been looking forward to going grey so that I could dye my hair any colour I wanted, but I'm still a very dark brown, though not the Celtic black of either parent!

Last summer, I went on holiday for a week with family including teenage grandkids. The pact amongst the females was that we would all dye our hair purple for the holiday with a semi-permanent hair colour for dark hair, mostly so that by the beginning of the Autumn term it would have washed out of the girls' hair. (School rules!) I used double the quantity of colourant for double the time stated. The consensus was that no-one could see any difference and I needn't have bothered!

I agree.

What has that post got to do with the original.

I’d see if you could find a home stylist. While I understand the Salian reasoning I would have been rather upset too. I don’t pretend that dying my greys makes me appear any younger really but it is the way I prefer to see myself.

Grams2five

I’d see if you could find a home stylist. While I understand the Salian reasoning I would have been rather upset too. I don’t pretend that dying my greys makes me appear any younger really but it is the way I prefer to see myself.

No, unless you don’t care if your hair starts to break and even fall out. Take the advice of a good salon which is concerned about the health and appearance of your hair and its good reputation rather than using a home stylist with lesser qualifications, expertise and knowledge.

SunnySusie

I agree MOnica that 'reject' is a bit strong for a hairdressing issue, but I was really surprised how much it upset me. Yes its trivial in the grand scheme of things, but it made me feel really old - and in the season where I tend to depression, quite down in the dumps. My volunteering roles are all front facing, customer service, reception type jobs and I really try to look presentable and take great care with my clothing, make up and hair. Its a good incentive for me and I have always said I dont want to embrace the grey.

I fully understand why you were upset.

I have found (aged 65) that people in various places such as the optician, the podiatrist and others have started commenting rather patronisingly about how I am 'stylish'. I'm sure they mean well, but it's obvious that they have pulled back from sago 'for your age' . I'd put a pound to a penny that they don't say the same to 30 year old clients. The assistant in the opticians even said 'You've still got your little style, haven't you?' and that was ages ago - I was probably in my 50s. I wasn't amused.

I don't have grey hair (neither does my mother, and she's nearly 90) but I do have blonde and copper highlights in my mouse coloured hair, which cheers it up and (I think) brightens my overall 'look'.

As for rejection - when I was about 20, I went to a fancy city centre salon which was trendy and expensive. I felt very grown-up . I remember once when a junior came to the stylist who was cutting my hair and saying 'Mrs X is asking for an appointment?' The stylist said 'No, not on Saturday. I'll see her if she can do Tuesday morning.' When the junior had gone, he told me that they kept Saturdays for people like me who were good for the image of the salon.

I'm ashamed to say I was flattered, and told my mum, expecting her to congratulate me on my apparent sophistication and desirability as a client. She didn't - she pointed out that I would be Mrs X's age one day, and how would I feel to be treated like that? She was right, of course.

Now I am probably older than Mrs X, I'm less keen on the idea of youth being the main criteria for acceptability. I 'like my little style' (😡) and if Mrs X is still with us and reading this, please accept my heartfelt apologies. The arrogance of youth, eh?

(Also, my daughter had a disaster with her hair when the salon didn't do a strand test, and she was only about 20. It took years to grow out, so it's worth having one done and abiding by the results.)

A lot of my hair is black with some grey mixed in there. My brother who is younger than me, his hair is fully grey. But I won't mind having fully grey hair. It's only vanity to want otherwise.

I've been a hairdresser for 30+ years and I'm so sorry this has upset you. Did the hairdresser explain why your hair may be porous and what options there are to get the colour you like, plus healthy beautiful hair. I'm very grey with natural dark hair and I colour it a natural shade of blonde. If you'd like me answer any questions or explain why they wouldn't colour your hair let me know.. take care

I've been a mobile hairdresser at certain time of my life. I am trained and have worked in 'top' salons for a long long time. Not all mobile hairdressers are incompetent. By recommendation is a good way to find a decent stylist. Always cheaper as there are no salon overheads. Not because we do a bad job. 😊

I imagine some mobile hairdressers don’t keep up to date with courses and latest developments though, and their knowledge and techniques haven’t moved on since they worked in a salon? How do you tell the difference? Presumably most look after older, housebound clients who won’t be looking for the latest cutting and colouring techniques?

Well I used to have copper coloured hair, not the bright ginger but the copper colour. Never wore pinks with that colouring. But I have now got what I think is quite good looking white hair. As i am yorkshire and dont like to waste money, but nor do like to see hair with differnt coloured roots, I chose to let it go white, have it very well cut and stick to it. Firstly think of the money I save and the time! My hair looks clean and a good shape, I swim quite a lot and so want it to have a good shape at the end of it. My back is bad and can be fine one day and bad another, so I make no appointments, but the good hairdresser I go to , is fine with me popping in or ringing up when it needs cutting, and we both win. She can tell me when she has a free time and I just go down and fit in with her. Result is that I get a good haircut, dont waste money and am happy knowing that it looks clean and well shaped,. That way what money I save is used for good things like travelling or meeting friends or whateve. You choose your priorities and I am happy with my choice, Saving time, money and effort is a good balance for me. If you just add up what you might spend in a year you might be surprised , not to mention the time spent sitting in the hairdressers. If you really like doing that then look around to see someone s hair that you admire , and ask them where they go and give the a try.

Years ago before I went white- haired I had my hair coloured at the local salon. My hair was so porous it came out bright orange. I had to hide the orange with a home semi permanent in a dark ash brown . After dark semi permanent no longer needed I went natural grey and then white with no regrets.

My hairdresser uses organic dyes. It's much better for my hair and scalp.

I take after my dear late Dad who went "multi-coloured" in his early 20s - ginger, blond and mucky grey. He was known to his colleagues as "the old fella". By the time they were all approaching retirement, dad's hair was smarter than all the others but he was still called "the old fella"!

I followed suit in my forties with similar "multi-coloured" hair and have always used Clairol semi-permanent Medium Ash Blonde. It does not come out anything like as light or boring as the picture on the box, but picks out the red elements and results in a pleasant warm shade. It isn't quite even like my natural colour but covers the increasing grey in the same way. If I don't colour it, the natural shade is now a dull dirty-looking grey. Each treatment lasts far longer than the 24 washes the box suggests. Because it is "multi-coloured" no-one really notices when it starts to fade, except it isn't quite as warm looking.

I'll stick with that as long as possible. It's cheap and easy and to me looks pretty natural.