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AIBU

I know they were only trying to help but

(121 Posts)
kittylester Tue 25-Feb-25 13:55:42

There are men down manholes on our road doing something with Virgin Media cables.

I know because we had a chat before I got in the car.

As I backed down our drive 3 of them leapt out of their holes, one stopped traffic, one stood watching and one stood on the opposite side of the road so he could tell me when it was safe to proceed.

My car is new, has cameras and could probably track a satellite if I only knew how to do it.

DH went out 10 minutes later and was, apparently, left to cope on his own.

This happens quite often..

AIBU to feel offended

Whitewavemark2 Tue 25-Feb-25 13:57:39

No - I would just grin to myself, smile politely and carry on.

Barleyfields Tue 25-Feb-25 14:00:14

Yes you are. Why not just appreciate some gentlemanly courtesy? I would. Do you object to a man holding a door open for you and letting you enter first when he wouldn’t do that for another man?

AGAA4 Tue 25-Feb-25 14:04:08

Old fashioned courtesy or thinking that a woman was more likely to drive into a hole.

Cabbie21 Tue 25-Feb-25 14:04:16

You may feel offended on your DH’s behalf, if their work was obstructing his view. They should have treated you both equally, but otherwise I agree with Barleyfields.

Jaxjacky Tue 25-Feb-25 14:07:10

I’d take it with a pinch of salt and have a quiet chuckle to myself.

ViceVersa Tue 25-Feb-25 14:23:57

I wouldn't be offended. I'd just think it was nice of them to be so helpful, and I'd have given them a friendly wave to thank them.

nanasam Tue 25-Feb-25 14:26:49

ViceVersa

I wouldn't be offended. I'd just think it was nice of them to be so helpful, and I'd have given them a friendly wave to thank them.

Hear, hear. I love the age of chivalry and feel special if I'm offered a seat or am treated kindly

NanTheWiser Tue 25-Feb-25 14:40:16

nanasam

ViceVersa

I wouldn't be offended. I'd just think it was nice of them to be so helpful, and I'd have given them a friendly wave to thank them.

Hear, hear. I love the age of chivalry and feel special if I'm offered a seat or am treated kindly

I would feel the same!

cornergran Tue 25-Feb-25 14:53:29

I’d be amused ‘kitty’ while asking Mr C if he’d managed on his own. Then I’d duck 😂.

petra Tue 25-Feb-25 14:58:08

Would you have been offended if it had been women ?

Skydancer Tue 25-Feb-25 15:07:01

I’d be delighted. It’s good manners.

JamesandJon33 Tue 25-Feb-25 15:19:27

It would have made my day 🤭

Indigo8 Tue 25-Feb-25 15:22:33

Barleyfields Do you object to a man holding a door open and letting you through first?

Yes I do, I find it patronising. I would never say anything though as the poor dears think they are being considerate letting the little woman through first and not asserting their superiority.

ViceVersa Tue 25-Feb-25 15:23:56

I think opening a door and letting someone go through first is just a matter of good manners and common courtesy, whether it is a man or a woman!

Babs03 Tue 25-Feb-25 15:25:14

Am afraid I rarely encounter this, if ever, but my OH has had people jump up on trains or the tube to offer him a seat. And though he is a few years older than me he doesn’t look it.
So it does happen the other way round.
Would take it as a good deed done.
👍

Crossstitchfan Tue 25-Feb-25 15:29:50

kittylester

There are men down manholes on our road doing something with Virgin Media cables.

I know because we had a chat before I got in the car.

As I backed down our drive 3 of them leapt out of their holes, one stopped traffic, one stood watching and one stood on the opposite side of the road so he could tell me when it was safe to proceed.

My car is new, has cameras and could probably track a satellite if I only knew how to do it.

DH went out 10 minutes later and was, apparently, left to cope on his own.

This happens quite often..

AIBU to feel offended

Yes you are! You are the sort of person who will say this and then have a huff because a man didn’t hold a shop door open for you!
Be thankful there are still some men with manners still around. They are few and far between!

Crossstitchfan Tue 25-Feb-25 15:31:10

Also, they probably felt a bit more accommodating towards you because you had chatted to them.

FriedGreenTomatoes2 Tue 25-Feb-25 15:34:52

Actually kitty I thought it was rather sweet!

Claremont Tue 25-Feb-25 15:38:04

I too would giggle to myself and find it really funny..

Claremont Tue 25-Feb-25 15:52:29

BTW, did your OH stop to have a chat with them, as you did?

Ziplok Tue 25-Feb-25 15:55:09

No, I wouldn’t be offended at all. I think it’s rather nice, to be honest.

Cossy Tue 25-Feb-25 15:56:20

Claremont

I too would giggle to myself and find it really funny..

Me too!

Tenko Tue 25-Feb-25 15:59:10

Yes you are . I think it’s very nice of them to do this . So many people complain that chivalry is dead . The world needs more kind deeds .

merlotgran Tue 25-Feb-25 16:02:22

FriedGreenTomatoes2

Actually kitty I thought it was rather sweet!

So do I but I’d be praying this would not be the time I ran a wheel up the kerb or worse…over one of their feet. 😂