Me and my partner have just welcomed a baby girl into the world and she is 3 weeks old.
My partner has said he wants to propose and will once he sells his house as most of his money is tied up in his house. I accepted this but he can't just sell up, the house is in dire states and needs redecorating and some renovations. However, my partner doesn't have a great deal of money so things haven't really been getting done. He reluctantly reduced his pension contributions to allow him to do some house things. I sold my house to then move in with partner and he helped with alot of stuff. Once my house was sold he then started work on his house. However, he has had a leak for 2 years whcih has meant he has had to switch off the hot water upstairs. This means the only hot water in from the shower. He has a 2nd bathroom whcih he needs to install and has said for ages that once he installs the 2nd bathroom, he can properly bring up the floor boards in the main bathroom and find the leak. I made him promise me we would have hot water when baby arrived and he did. The two bathrooms haven't been touched since. He then bought lots of panelling to redecorate the livingroom and hall. He has done one wall in the livingroom in about 5 weeks and hasn't even started the rest.
Before I moved in, I said I wanted to go on his house deeds, as security for me and our baby. He didn't say no but didn't see the point and said he felt nervous as we'd been arguing lots and didn't want me taking half his house if we split when I haven't contributed to it. I was upset by this but didn't think about it again.
The other night I asked him when we would get wills written up (to leave things to our daughter). I only asked him this as its a benefit he gets from his work and said he can't get it free or cheaper. He then said he had been thinking about this and will speak with his manager so we can do this in a few weeks. He then said he was going to also put me on the house deeds. I was taken aback and asked him what changed his mind. He said we felt very secure now and it seems the right thing to do by our child. The next morning I said I didn't want things done purely because we had a child that I wanted him to do it becuaee of me and us. I then asked when he was going to do it. He then got angry and said I should be grateful that I'm going on the deeds and that it's nothing to do with Me when he does it. He said with me pushing him, it makes him not want to do it.
Last night he said he would make spag bol and he then said he was too tired and we had picky bits. I got him to promise, jokingly, he would spag bol tonight. He agreed. After eating quite a late snack I asked if he was still keeping his promise (I wasn't being that serious( he got angry and said he had enough of me second guessing him and not believing a word he says. He then stormed out and has been sitting upstairs since.
I don't know whay to say to him becuae whenever I ask wheh something is getting done, I apparently don't trust him and by asking I am pushing him not to do it. However if I don't ask, it neevr gets done. Aibu?
I don't know how to approach this.
