Granddaughter getting married in California (OC), budget decisions

The other think to check on is what the plan B would be in the event of bad weather?

Cold because it seems to involve a meal and speeches and thanks, gifts etc the night before the wedding itself.

Paid for by the groom (or maybe groom's parents??)

It's not just a run through at the church/venue!

Do you have any idea about roughly how much money your granddaughter is expecting you to contribute? Have you committed yourself to anything, such as paying for the reception? What does your granddaughter (or her parents) think the budget is? Can you ask her parents what your granddaughter is expecting from you?

I’d be more than a little concerned that I was being expected to contributed far more than I’d envisaged. I agree entirely that a largish sum of money could be much better spent.

It's their wedding they should pay for it themselves. Both my children paid for their own weddings they set a budget and stuck to it . I did offer but would only have been able to give them £200 . They told me no they choose to marry and it was there responsibility to pay for it . My niece and her fiancé paid for their own wedding and wouldn't take anything from my brother . As they said it was their responsibility same as my children.

When I got married we paid for our own wedding . I had my wedding dressing made it cost £40 including the material this was in 1981 my shoes where £50 . But I knew I would wear the shoes again but the dress once . Had another dress for the evening do . And wore it for many years.

Why should parents or grandparents in this day and age pay to their children's or grandchildren's weddings.

I know you have said you will give them some money towards their wedding . Have you got other grandchildren if so will you do the same ?

liamsunsunnix knows what she can afford to give.
I think she wanted to know if she could point out cheaper venues and ask the couple to reconsider spending so much on the wedding.

I think many of us say no, don't do that. Let them do what they want (because they will spend it anyway). They will have a very different idea regarding what they want of the day.

I do hope your granddaughter has a truly lovely day.
My mother-in-law gave a sum in cash to each of my children as they married. I know she would have wanted it (ideally) to go towards a home or savings or something substantial but she was wise enough not to ask!

Have a chat with her parents liamsunsunnix - but don't make your gift anything but the generous acknowledgement of love that you know it is.

Can you just say, you had "X" amount put aside for her, she can do what she likes with it? If she wants a more expensive wedding then they know they have to add more.
Hope you all have a fabulous day when it happens.

NotSpaghetti

I think those of us who haven't planned a wedding in years have no idea the cost of these things if the couple want all the bells and whistles.

Also, my son and wife didn't want a venue where their friends had been married.
I think this is pretty common.

If the $40,000 includes everything I expect it's pretty normal in Orange county for 150 people.
Just eating out in somewhere lovely is an arm and a leg there it seems to me... and weddings are a huge industry!

Just a quick Google brings this up:
Average wedding cost in Orange CA with 100 to 150 guests is between $33,631 and $41,105

wedding.report/index.cfm/action/wedding_cost.estimate/budgetid/554655EC-B83E-4609-8B1B7AE0EF07071D#:~:text=Average%20wedding%20cost%20in%20Orange,is%20between%20%2433%2C631%20and%20%2441%2C105

I don't think this is advertising BTW (for those of you who are suspicious of anything). The OP has posted before you know!

Thank you for taking the time, I appreciate it. I was under the impression it would be for the venue only, but there is a good chance I didn't pay enough attention. And yes, I don't post often, but I've been around here, if I'm not mistaken, since 2022. So....

Visgir1

Can you just say, you had "X" amount put aside for her, she can do what she likes with it? If she wants a more expensive wedding then they know they have to add more.
Hope you all have a fabulous day when it happens.

That would probably be the best. Thanks for the wishes!

Cold

The other think to check on is what the plan B would be in the event of bad weather?

Valid point, but my head is spinning already. I will remind them if needed, but I hope they've taught of it already.

liamsunsunnix my son in OC is very conscious of the weather there as they have sea breezes. They will have thought of the weather.

I'm sure they will choose a venue that is just right for them and hopefully you will all have a perfect day.