Am I a prude?

Crossstitchfan

Lathyrus3

Crossstitchfan

I was on your side! I had a go at Lathyrus3 for her criticism of you. I am sorry, but I can’t see what I have done wrong.

It’s regrettable that you have reverted to “having a go at me”.

Particularly because it was not even my post that you were referencing. Someone else entirely.
My post suggested that a solution might be to buy a comfortable bed for the guest room.

It does however show that you are returning to the hounding of me that I reported to HQ before. Obviously I will inform them that this has started all over again

I am sorry you think I was getting at you and singling you out. When I respond to posts, I respond to what is said, and don’t always register who the poster is before I reply. I certainly don’t have an issue with anyone, least of all you.
In this case, you suggested that Mrsbee377 should buy a new bed. I simply pointed out that you can’t assume she can afford to do that. I still stand by that and I would have said it to anyone who made the same comment. It was not directed at you personally and I am sorry if you took it that way.
When I respond to a post, I don’t look back and see if I have already disagreed with the person I am going to reply to, in this case, you. I just reply to each post in the way I feel at the time. If it happens to be more than once, it is not deliberate.
I promise you, I have nothing against you at all and would certainly not pick on you, but if/when I disagree with you, I will say so. That’s what happens on here and discussion is a welcome part. As I said, it is not personal but I am not going to say I agree with you if I don’t, just so your feelings are spared!
Report me by all means but I think you are being a little sensitive because I do not respond any differently to you than I would to any other poster, and they don’t seem to take umbrage at what I say! They take it in the spirit in which it is meant…..criticism sometimes, maybe, but never meant unkindly.

HQ are looking into your strings if posts where you have, as you said yourself, decided “to have a go” at me. In many of them, as in the most recent, you name me. So clearly you are aware of the name and who you are posting about.

I did not respond to your comment about buying a bed. The comment I reported was when you announced that you had deliberately decided to “have a go at me”.

I am aware of the classic bullying tactics that you use - singling out, mockery and jeering, saying that your victim is too sensitive or has no sense of humour, stating that other posters are also critical f me and agree with you and the classic denial f your having done anything at all.

All this is there for investigation.

I am not aware of having used bullying tactics, so I would be grateful if you could quote some with dates so I can see how I have upset you. In all the time I have been on here, I have got on well with everyone, but obviously not with you, for reasons that escape me.
I do not want to be at odds with anyone and I don’t know how we have got off on the wrong foot. I haven’t had anything like this with anyone else. If it was my fault, I apologise, but I truly have no idea what I have done to upset you. And it does seem to be only you, as no-one else has had a go at me.
Can’t we just agree to disagree and get on with our lives? I have got cancer, which at the moment is being kept under control with injections. Not looking for sympathy, but to be honest, this gives me enough grief and I really can’t be bothered with all this arguing.

Well there we are. Everybody else is just fine with you. I am the only one that has a problem. You have no idea what you have done to upset me.

As I say it’s all there for investigation.

Every single post.

I can understand you don't want people doing it in your bed, but as long as they were quiet and didn't disturb anyone, and didn't leave ''any marks'' or ''items'' then just let it go.

Take off all of the bedding, spray the bed and pillows with Fabreze or Zoflora, and all of the bedding and remake the bed and POOF! Nothing to worry about!

I wouldn't speak to them about it at all.

As for the banging door, I totally understand what you're saying there, it would drive me potty too!

Can anyone not remember when they were young and the day it dawned on them that our parents had sex. I remember being mortified and know my daughter felt the same way once she was aware of sex. Even now, I'd feel very uncomfortable if I found out (even after the fact/act!) that someone had done it in my bed. Your bed should be sacrosanct which is why I think OP should have put them in the spare room. Having said that, I'd still feel uncomfortable if I knew a spare bed had been used. I'd have to even flip the mattress lol. I'm as far from being a prude as you can get but if I was in that situation I'd feel an unspoken boundary had been crossed. Surely its called respecting your host.

I think I'm a prude but it wouldn't occur to me that its not okay to have sex with my DH in someone else's house.

On a slight aside, my DIL doesn't change sheets between guests "if it's only a night" - that bothers me more!! lol xx

If you don't want a couple to have sex in your bed then don't offer your bed.

theworriedwell

Mrsbee377

I don’t see an issue with people of older age having sex, not in the slightest. It’s just there’s a time and a place..!

In bed at night is a fairly normal time and place.

Agreed.

No idea why participants ages matter. People can be intimate until they die.

It does seem a bit far fetched that 70 year olds would be having sex specially in someone else's bed. Most of us prefer a good night's sleep!

Presuming this is not a windup and trying to give a serious answer.
I can just about understand your not wanting someone to have sex in your BED but frankly it's your own fault because you put them in your bed when you should have put your guests in the guest room. The clue's in the name.
If you object to consenting people having sex then I think you're a bit odd and probably a prude.
I also agree that you shouldn't have gone ferreting about in their bedroom at night.

I'm guessing prudes never go on holiday, to stay in a hotel where the beds have all been sexed in a thousand times.

kircubbin2000

It does seem a bit far fetched that 70 year olds would be having sex specially in someone else's bed. Most of us prefer a good night's sleep!

Thankfully not everyone agrees. Far fetched, why?

Far fetched! Do some people think sex stops at 50? Where have you all been. Not to put too fine a point on it I’m 80 and we still do….not as often as we used to I ‘ll grant you .

JamesandJon33

Far fetched! Do some people think sex stops at 50? Where have you all been. Not to put too fine a point on it I’m 80 and we still do….not as often as we used to I ‘ll grant you .

You stole my thunder JamesandJon I was just about to say that I occasionally wish someone would tell my 80 year old husband that sex at 70 is "far fetched".

Errrm....you shouldnt have gone into a bedroom someone else was sleeping in!!! - even if they were sleeping on their own and it's normally your bedroom.

No excuses I'm afraid for breaching someone's privacy like that. They probably went out for breakfast so that they had the chance to speak to each other in private about that....

If I were them = I wouldnt be coming back to stay with you again and I'd be wondering whether to have anything to do with you again - as I'd be so embarrassed (even though I'd done nothing wrong).

Really? I was surprised when my 80 year old friend told me she always does her gym at 7.00 to avoid elderly husband for this reason. Luckily I live alone!

To be honest -you sound as though you are a prude .
Maybe it's the idea of people of a certain age having sex in your bed in your room .
I'd rather that than have some relatives who used to stay and shout at each other right through the night .
Last time they visited I got them to stay in a hotel and they stopped wanting to visit .

I'm sorry that you are so upset. Perhaps when or if they stay again you could put them in the guest room and explain about the noisy door and that your worried it may disturb them?

if you'd been silly enough to use your bed for guests you would think they could refrain from sex in it wouldn't you!

I'm in my 40's too, if that helps and I don't think you're a prude. Did they have a few drinks before bed?

Either way, I wouldn't be doing that in somebody else's marital bed.

No, no drinks involved!

I’m still feeling very weirded out.

I don’t think it’s the 70 year olds having sex that’s the issue here, I think it’s more that they were having sex in her and her husband’s bed.

I think that’s pretty rude to be honest. I wouldn’t dream of staying at my children’s homes and having sex with my husband in theirs and their partners bed. It’s rude. I’m quite shocked everyone seems to think this is acceptable. If they can’t refrain for just a few days so as not to be disrespectful, then they’re the ones that should be embarrassed not you OP.

I'm beginning to think I'm the odd one here... I honestly don't think it would bother me if other people had sex in my bed as we'd be washing the sheets and airing the bed anyway.

We stay both in hotels and with friends/family and don't know who has been in the bed before us... or after.

We DO expect it to be clean bedding though - even if we are only there for one night, Franski - I'd be taking my own bedding there!

If you hadn't gone into the room would you have known? What uou don't know doesn't harm you comes to mind.

NotSpaghetti, I'm with you. I can't believe anyone can be so upset about something so perfectly normal and natural as a loving couple having sex.
So it was really the OP's bed? So what? It's a piece of furniture! As others have said, you put on clean sheets for the guests and you change them again when they're gone. I just cannot understand the issue here.
More and more, I find I'm out of touch with the GN group think and wonder what I'm doing here at all.