My daughter wont do anything for me

I would get myself a pal & go on day trips, right in the middle of the school holidays!

I think you will find that push back is not allowed! The demands are a one way street. However, I think push back is a good idea as long as you don't wind up with no contact.

User138562

In my opinion as a reformed people pleaser, it's never a good idea to do favors for someone with an unspoken expectation that they will reciprocate. If you're going to help then do it out of love with no expectations. If you don't want to do it, don't do it. It's that simple. It's her kid and you don't HAVE to help.

Maybe that's not fair but life isn't fair. Learning to deal with your expectations so you aren't disappointed is really important. You can't change people no matter how much you try. Better to change yourself.

This is very true! I used to assume because I reciprocate, that others did too! I have been sadly disabused. I also used to watch adverts or programmes that talked about adult children taking their parents out and treating them to lunch coffee or afternoon tea! My experiance is its the other way around🙄

Just an idea but how about staying for dinner every so often so you can have time with your daughter after the little ones are in bed. She may be exhausted too.

Stop the childcare in school holidays.

Grandparents shouldn't be childcare, let her pay like the vast majority do.

She's clearly let you know where you stand in her life.

mabon2

Tell to find a baby sitter for your grandson during the holidays. She's a selfish madam who is taking you for a mug.

I see you are responding in your usual rude way. Is it really necessary to be so blunt?

That's the attitude of many of the younger generation. You only have to read some of the comments on Mumsnet about grandparents to know what some think of their parents.

You don't mention your age but I would start by saying how tired I am, not feeling well, have to rest. If you get a cold really lay it on thick and don't be the martyr. I would do this slowly so she starts to see cracks appearing. Also, cut back on the gifts you may give her for birthday and say how expensive things are now. Just be negative and moany. She will soon start to pick up the vibe. See how she reacts to that.

butterandjam

Whenever she needs you, stop being so available.

Print out a list of her own excuses and leave it by the phone so you can use them back to her.

"Sorry, it's just too far."
"I can' drive. Car is playing up"
" Can't help you"
" You're asking too often and I can't be bothered".

Excellent suggestion. You're being taken for granted and seen as a soft touch.

Taking your grandchild must be exhausting at times. Maybe next time say you're under doctor's orders to have complete rest.

She'll soon start appreciating you then.