Being dropped by a friend for something better

Sounds like a tennis group to me. I would take a noble stance, be polite, play her whenever the need occurs. Enjoy games with other group members.
But above all stop discussing her behaviour with other people, no good will come from it.

TLDR. Sorry.

She showed you how she scorns other people, so no surprise she's done the same to you. She's not your friend, she's a user ; you've served her purpose and been discarded.

It doesn't matter what other people think of her (or you) so stop looking for allies, sympathy and support. Just find other partners to play with.

So she can't play tennis/badminton/beach volleyball one week?
Someone else would like to but you don't want to invite her?

It seems like making a mountain out of a mole hill, sorry.

She sounds very rude. Delete her from your WhatsApp group and concentrate on finding replacements. Then cross her off your Christmas card list!

Did she say that, though?
Or is MirandaIV just surmising?

A piece of toast and marmalade with a cup of tea at supper time. Find it very soothing and satisfying. Always had supper as a wee girl and have continued into adulthood.
In winter, I have a hot toddy a few times a week in my bed and it’s very comforting.
I am amazed at with the amount of grannies who have the will power to not eat anything from dinner until breakfast.

Wrong place! 😆

Oh dear- this is how wars start isn't it?

Just because someone comes to dinner at your house doesn't mean they're friends.

I think you may have over-invested in this relationship and you now feel hurt and wounded whereas she is just getting on with her life.

Only you can decide whether you now want to exclude her from further contact with the team- or just leave it open but I would choose my friends a little more wisely in the future. It isn't worth it.

Sometimes Marilla that is a necessity. I refuse to be diabetic so do a 16-8 fast every day. I eat at six in the evening , then nothing except water or weak tea until 12 noon. It works .

I would put the details of the next game on WhatsApp with a line saying "first come, first served"(no pun intended) then the keenest will respond quickly and the decision of choice is taken out of your hands.

There are people for whom the sport/hobby is the most important thing in their lives.

The need to get better and better, to compete, to strive to be part of the elite. It’s their reason for living.

They enjoy their friendships and relationships but those who chose to be involved with them have to accept that the sport will always come first.
And they genuinely can’t see any adrift about that.

So really it’s your choice if you want friendship on those terms or not- I’m guessing not.

But if this is a group I don’t think you can unilaterally decide to exclude her. Something for the whole group to discuss, don’t you think?

Maya Angelou gave good advice. When someone shows you who they are, believe them

You saw this woman deceive and gossip about people. That’s who she is. I suggest you either continue to involve her but keep a safe emotional distance or, be up front and tell her how you feel and walk away.

Do the others in your group share your feelings.

I feel acutely sorry for you.
It is very painful.
I wouldn't confront her-just let things slide .
You will make new friends.
Some people are ruthless users .

I'm learning to distance myself from an old friend. of about thirty plus years has also more or less dropped me .
I'm an option if she wants to go to a plant nursery and none of her other friends want to go or she wants horticultural advice or to help her in the garden.
If I see her in the street she walks off to talk to someone else or I'm dismissed because she's busy or in a rush .
Her attitude towards me has become condescending .
She also lies to me a great deal .
Recently, she told me that she's been on a diet when for months she claimed that her weight loss was due to chronic illness .
I was so upset that I prayed for her and asked my Vicar to say special prayers too .

It's taken me a very long time to come to
terms with it .
I can recall a time when I couldn't do my garden without her chatting .
I also listened to her endless marital problems and problems with two of her daughters .
At times ,she really outstayed her welcome at my father's house .
We listened to hour after hour of her problems .

Her new best friend pays her lots of money to do chores for her and buys her presents.
But it's all going wrong - the promised holiday has been cancelled and the chores are now infrequent .

I'm moving on ...
Take heart - you will too .
Good luck in finding a friend,who is worthy of you .🍀

I have had an upsetting experience recently with regard to what I considered to be a close circle of friends.
Be the bigger person, move on with good grace, if you see her at matches just be civil, and get another player for your group. If she asks about playing with your group again just say sorry but you now have another player.
And don’t talk about her to others , they may say they won’t breathe a word to this woman but could spill everything to her at the first opportunity.
All the best

Do you mean continue to play with her every week Asif? Nothing happened until the next time she drops out for something better.

I don’t think I needed to know that. If it’s too long for you to read, why don’t you just move on without making a slide?

The other two are men and I don’t really want to involve them in the drama, even though of course they will have both seen her saying that she was going to play with some other people instead of us on the WhatsApp group. They may say something when I see them, but I generally don’t talk to men about these kind of things as I find they are not comfortable with it.

What do you mean?

Thank you. That is really sensible advice.

MirandaIV

If you are asking for clarification as above, it's necessary to name the poster to whom you are referring.

No idea where this is going as you are dropping questions and answers to who knows who Miranda !!!

I m curious what is TLDR is I thought it was going to be Too Long to Read but that doesn’t fit in I hate these guessable s why not just say what you mean Scribbles

Now on to the question in hand did the person say ‘ I m dropping you this week as I have someone better to play with’ or is that just you assuming that
I don’t really see it as dreadful, she has let you know in advance not just not turned up, so she’s done it right there,
you re peeved because you think she’s trying to move up the ladder without your group, and maybe she is !
Why not tell her honestly that you weren’t impressed with her dropping out this week at short notice and what does she want to do about the future of the foursome Then you ll know for sure if she’s in or out and can look for another player if it’s the latter

Now on to the question in hand did the person say ‘ I m dropping you this week as I have someone better to play with’ or is that just you assuming that

My question too.

I really don’t see how you can take the decision to drop her from the group without consulting the other members.

You don’t want to involve the men? Would it be ok for one of the others to take the decision to drop you from the group.

That’s possible if you’re saying one person can just decide to cut out another.

I think you’re getting very confused between your friendship and the hurt you feel and just a group who play a game together.