DH says I spend too much

"2 bathroom" not "2 bed" house.

This thread is making me realise how poor I am after working 50 years of my life...

Allira

^If you think £ 130,000 is a lot of Savings, this to me is where you differ. I don't consider that a lot of savings^

Oh dear 😲

What is the Oh dear for Allira??

My husband is exactly the same, always has been. I just ignore him.

keepingquiet

This thread is making me realise how poor I am after working 50 years of my life...

Me too. I never paid into a private pension (never earned enough to do so). I get a state pension, the same as my husband. I also get the lowest rate of PIP, following a stroke 4 years ago. We're 66 and 67, with about £9k in savings from his private pension (and it's dwindling away)

Oh dear- your answer about all matching handbags/shoes/boots/coats is a bit more revealing.No, im pretty sure ALL youre friends DONT have loads of handbags/shoes- unless of course you're part of a upper class elite group of older folk who all have a lot of money in the bank? I think i can see why your husband is mentioning this- you do seem to have a bit of a problem and it can easily get out of hand- who has a delivery from amazon EVERY DAY? even if its bin bags etc- most people get 'everyday' stuff from a supermarket shop or a discount store like B& M's etc- we shop around for them- even online.And no sadly if the GC liked floppy bunnies when small it doesnt follow that they 'should' have to have them when in their teens- and as for all your matching outfits- well you're not the queen so probably dont need to do that to be 'well turned out' - im sorry but you need to hear the truth.Most older folk these days cant find cash for heating let alone all these luxuries you are frittering money away on.And £130,000 is a good nest egg to have but you will need that to cushion your pension years- especially in the current Reeves climate.We none of us know how the future will pan out either and your husband is right to protect your money, what if its needed in another 10 or 20 years for a care home for either of you? Or even care givers at home? Or just to stay comfortable in the coming years.It seems like you have stopped being a bit sensible over buying to get a 'high hit' from buying/getting a delivery.(even of mundane daily items?)🤔I'm not a killjoy , i too like to treat my family at christmas- up to a point, but floppsy bunnies for teenagers i'd draw the line- sorry but i'm with your hubby on this one.You need to stop buying.& i would return the bunnies they will probably be embarressed to recieve.And anything else you 'bought to match' your latest outfits.This is a problem that needs addressing in my view.

You see there in first page- yes a lot of teenagers have cuddly toys they have KEPT- from the past, because it means something special to them- like a First toy from a gran or parent etc- so they hung on to it- NOT that they have bought Now! That right there was your own impulse buying just for the sake of it! And you bought the day before and the day before that.And i'm sure their parents gave you a list to choose from i.e . To choose ONE gift from. Two at most. Did that list include cute floppy realistic bunnies? Maybe you'd have been better discussing with their parents if they could have ONE real pet rabbit instead to enjoy? Yes i see cute gifts when im shopping for presents, but unless youve a 4 or 5 year old GC to buy for then you say 'aw thats cute' but then move on.Show your husband you see his point.and return unused impulse buys that you and the GC really dont need.Amazon prime (which you probably do have to get a delivery every day) in itself is an unneccessy expence each month/or year. Cancel it after christmas.Start shopping around for essentials like binbags etc.Show your husband you're willing to try economise in future.It could be a new year resolution?And Ebay or vinted are there if you want to make any money back on those impulse bought handbags/boots etc.- Maybe your impulse buying of all these matching co-ordinated outfits is a way of holding on to your youth also? Being well put together doesnt neccessarily need a bag/coat/ shoes to match every buy.Start now to get a grip on this.

Cannot imagine GC that age need (not want) cuddly toys of any description, no matter how trendy.

And grown up ladies don’t need matching handbags, shoes, boots for each outfit they own either, although they might want them.

Frankly, I’m not surprised fancyflowers DH thinks she’s a spendthrift.

So do I.

Admits I was surprised at the idea of matching handbags to footwear to coats - partly because that feels a bit old-fashioned to me.

I can understand someone having 2 "wardrobes" of clothes = eg if they are from one type of place (eg a city) and now living in another (eg a country town) - as I have my city clothes from back when (and there's an element of matching - eg brown boots as well as black boots and a navy handbag and couple of big black bags as well as a standard medium black one).

But even living in a city doesn't to me mean lots of matching stuff or loads of stuff per se (unless maybe one is titled or something and very active social life).

For most of us - there isn't any call for that.

Must admit I'm surprised too that there seem to be a noticeable number of women that are saying "I can spend his money as I please - that's okay - and will just find a way to get it past him".

I rather like the idea of capsule wardrobes personally and planning on heading in that direction - ie of winnowing out from clothes I have now once I've finally lost the surplus weight and can just have clothes in my size and not also having "the next size up and the next size up again that I'm currently wearing". There are loads of suggested capsule wardrobes up on Pinterest - according to lifestyle etc of the woman concerned (city, country, working or no, etc).

Calendargirl

Cannot imagine GC that age need (not want) cuddly toys of any description, no matter how trendy.

And grown up ladies don’t need matching handbags, shoes, boots for each outfit they own either, although they might want them.

Frankly, I’m not surprised fancyflowers DH thinks she’s a spendthrift.

So do I.

I'd get confused and leave something essential behind if I was changing handbags all the time.

Mind you, I don't so much have 'outfits' as 'clothes'.

OP, Perhaps spend from your account only?

Seven pages on what is either a wind up - my thought from the start - or a very needy person indulging herself.

Jaxjacky

Seven pages on what is either a wind up - my thought from the start - or a very needy person indulging herself.

This…..

I think that many husbands expect everything to be hunky dory without spending much .

Try the following :
Serving some really cheap meals -mince with more vegetables than meat . I've had to do it to economise .
Switching off the lights when he's reading.
Switching off the heating when you've got hot water bottles and a blanket.
Wrapping your Christmas gifts in newspaper .

Some people - male and female are incredibly mean .
I'm going through a period in which I'm fed up with one of my friends sponging off me She cultivates friends for what she can get out of them -spending the day with them "helping "enjoying all her meals and for money plus gifts .
Desperate for help lifting stuff I offered her a lunch and payment last week and she took up a better offer .

A parcel arriving every day is probaby the problem.
I dont know of your situtation ie isolation or disablement but If possible why not support the High Street make a list ask him if there is anything he needs and go shopping and maybe take him with you so he can hold the bags for you. Although a £130k sounds reasonable it is very easy to get though and maybe this is whats worrying him should you need care etc. You could try the tack that if you don't spend it the tax man will take it, however cuddly bunnies at that age, well, I'm sure you know your GC best but I'd have thought the money would be better.

Prince Andrew, sorry Mountbatten Windsor, had a strong predilection for cuddly toys I hear.

I’m fed up of my black handbag - I’m for a nice Tan leather bag , as we speak

crazyH

I’m fed up of my black handbag - I’m for a nice Tan leather bag , as we speak

That'll go with most things.

So much we don’t know, but it doesn’t stop people having strong opinions. I wonder whether the OP and DH are managing within their income; or eating into their savings. And if so, is this in a managed way? Obviously, they need to sit down and have a proper conversation about their budget, but I think OP has realised this and I do wish them well. Squabbling about money is miserable.

I’m surprised at people in their early 70s saying things like ‘ you can’t take it with you’. True of course - but my DM is still enjoying life at 92….. so your money might need to last you quite a long time. None of us know how long we’ve got - but it might be longer than you think!

I am pleased that DD was careful with money and DM has savings. She never has to worry about putting the heating on or paying any of her household bills. She’s able to replace things that wear out, and can still have a regular haircut. Whenever we challenged DH about their savings and his unwillingness to spend money, he always said that he wanted to leave her well provided for. He said that what she did with the money after he was gone up would be up to her.

So she has done some things in the house that were long overdue (redecorating, new curtains etc) and is happy and grateful to him now. She bought two new nighties and a lovely cosy dressing gown in the SeaSalt sale and it’s lovely to see her still enjoying such a good quality of life, with no real money worries.

I buy for each of my children and their partners and for our 5 grandchildren. It is quite an expensive time but I love the gift of giving

So much we don’t know, but it doesn’t stop people having strong opinions. I wonder whether the OP and DH are managing within their income

No, we're not eating into our savings. We manage very well on our income.

I am very surprised by the number of comments my post has generated. Is it because of the mere mention of money?

1. Realistic rabbits may be a questionable gift, given the ages. They may fit the personalities, not knowing the kids
2. Kids these days have everything, do they need the rabbits?
What is the real purpose of buying them for them?
Bring purpose to the gifter?
3. Unfortunately, kids may find a present cute for 2 days and live in a corner forever.
4. Realistic rabits and their origins may be very unethical - aka animal torture. Beware on buying into the cuteness
20 years ago, it was realistic cats

Gosh. You sound rich to me!

Are you keeping all the clothes etc that you impulse buy or adding to landfill with the ones you replaced? I think your husband is very probably right, you do spend too much. How much do you spend, or give to charities, for those who really need things?

Everyday you have an Amazon order !!! No wonder your Husband thinks you are spending too much !!!