Is my neighbour mean? Opinions please.

Listen to your daughter!

I share my internet when my neighbour's fails him - his computer is closer to the broadband than mine. I do not have a home (local area) network, so he cannot see my computer at all.
It costs you nothing to let her use it, so you are winning.

Perhaps just cut back on the gifts and do it her way?
Either she is being mean, or is poorer than you and appreciates the help, or simply thoughtless.

There are givers and takers in life. She is a taker obviously.

crazyH

kircubbin - here we have to pay about £25 per year ,for the green bin. This is for grass cuttings , twigs , pruned branches etc etc

I pay close on £60 pa for the weekly collection, the skip a couple of winter months but other than that it is every week. They provide the very large wheelie bin too.

ViceVersa

I don't understand how you say you have no control over her 'piggybacking' onto your internet. Surely she must have your password to access it, so simply change the password.

That

Sorry Desdemona, but yes you are being ‘ a mug ‘ for all the reasons already given. Regarding your internet you have reminded me about a former neighbour of mine. I was astonished to see him sat in his garden in a coat,as it was a cold day, on a few occasions, in exactly the same place. I realised that he was ‘ piggybacking ‘ my internet. I hadn’t given him a password or any other information. He wasn’t a very pleasant man, so I only switched the internet on when I wanted to use it. This could have been about 12 years ago, so I don’t know if that trick would still be possible.

That is how the rich get more money, they don't spend!

Just paid for our green bin.
Over 100 pound.
Fortnightly. 10 months so about 5 pound per uplift.

😲

Surely your council should provide you with a food waste bin? It’s part of your council tax bill.

I would stop buying things for her full stop. Then I would find out how much a green bin of my own would cost. I don't have a garden waste collection so have no idea about cost but maybe ,if cost is too much, suggest contributing towards neighbour's total.
As for the shared internet, that alone must be saving her money. More importantly it is not safe!! I'm not a computer buff but surely this means she or anyone else who uses her tablet can gain access to your details/banking etc. They could be looking at all sorts of dodgy sites which could have repercussions for you and which could allow malware and cause you no end of problems. I really think you have to stop this asap. I don't know if changing your password will help because she must have your wifi code so maybe ask your daughter or an expert how to stop this. Of course you must tell your neighbour what you are doing and why, you can always say family have insisted you put a stop to this as it's not safe.

I don’t think it’s a good idea to get too pally with neighbours.

I am just on hello terms with my next door and that suits me fine.
On the other side, they sometimes borrow our battery charger. But we are fine with that.

Just change your password. You don't have to tell her or explain. If she raises it tell her you'd like her to pay half of the bill. You sound like a lovely neighbour but she is taking the mick

Your daughter is correct OP

Desdemona, It gets under your skin a bit doesn’t it? No doubt there are very gracious people who wouldn’t think twice but I’m right with you. I have 3 neighbours (terrace of 4 cottages) We all have our own very late patio type front gardens and two large communal beds. I love gardening and in the 15 months I’ve been here have transformed the beds, all of the neighbours say how lovely it is and how grateful they are. The only thing I’ve asked for is a couple bucket of water each week from them, only one neighbour will do this 😫 are we silly, are we looking for validation. I don’t know? 🌷🌷

Yes you must for security, change the password.

It would not suit me to be that familiar with my neighbours. How do you know what household items she uses. Perhaps you have crossed the usual boundaries and she is now doing the same. Your daughter is right, but I think you need to have a frank chat with your neighbour unless you are happy to stay as you are. It is really up to you, but personally I would take your daughter's advise. There can't be much she does not know about you if you let her piggy back your network!!

It’s not a food waste bin Tiggy. It’s the ‘green bin’ for garden waste. Mine is a full size wheelie bin. You can opt whether to have one or not - eg. you wouldn’t need one for a flat. There’s an annual fee - obviously very different judging by various posts here.

It will be a cold day in hell before I'd compromise my Internet security by sharing it with a neighbour. You're not being "a mug" OP; you're being very foolish.

Georgesgran

It’s not a food waste bin Tiggy. It’s the ‘green bin’ for garden waste. Mine is a full size wheelie bin. You can opt whether to have one or not - eg. you wouldn’t need one for a flat. There’s an annual fee - obviously very different judging by various posts here.

Yes, so is ours.

Food waste is separate and provided from Council tax.

If someone uses your internet access and are involved in something untoward, you will be the one held responsible.

Desdemona. If you like buying her the occasional special offer don't stop, as it probably gives you a lot of pleasure. You could always simply say to her next time, "Oh, that sounds lovely, I would have really liked you to have bought one for me." You never know, she may take the hint!

In our area it is £64 per bin for garden waste. This covers a 12 month period. My son in law is a whizz on computers and he said to me never share your password with anybody. I’d feel anxious about it I think, if the neighbour might be doing things untoward. Personally I don’t get too involved with neighbours. If things go wrong, such as this case, you still have to live alongside of them. I wouldn’t answer to hollers over the fence. I’d say my hearing is going if questioned.

You are being naive and leaving yourself wide open to scams! Please listen to your daughter - you don’t want to be beholden to your neighbour. She is doing you no favours.

Desdemona

She does let me use her green bin for garden waste. The council have said it is fine for neighbours to share as long as somebody pays. She has got a tablet and piggybacks my internet (which I have no control over as we live in adjoining terraces, so I feel like she gets recompense for the green bin.)

You have "no control" over your internet?? Oh no! Do you have any idea what a massive risk this is ? If she or a visitor of hers uses your WiFi for dodgy purposes - streaming illegally etc YOU could be held legally responsible because it's your network. You most certainly do have control. If your WiFi is not password protected any passing vehicle can use it for free and use it to view and download illegal content. Please please you lovely person (you do sound lovely) put in a password to protect yourself and do not share it. Ask a trusted relative to help you if you need to. If she says she can't use it - no excuse needed - you put in a password on family advice. Get rid of your own garden waste or insist on splitting the bill with her. No more unrequested gifts! You have to live next door, so keep it friendly. No more free Internet Missus - no wonder she lets you use that bloody bin.