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AIBU

Entertaining neighbours

(16 Posts)
honeyrose Sun 30-Aug-26 13:22:50

We’ve been to 2 sets of neighbours houses for a meal over the last year and I feel I ought to ask them back to our house for a meal as a way of reciprocating. Trouble is, I don’t like cooking for people - I get very flustered, tired and I worry that I’m not a good hostess. I just cook for DH and I, but once a year do a family buffet for 9 or 10 people. DH feels that we should reciprocate with the neighbours, but he’s not the one doing the cooking. We only have a small dining table which would seat 6 at a pinch, but I’d have no room to put out dishes of vegetables etc. DH won’t eat anything other than English food and I find that I’m going round in circles and keep putting off inviting them. There would be 6 of us in total. I’ve never cooked a chilli as I know that’s an easy one to share. What do others suggest, please. Would a buffet be acceptable? I’d rather take them all out for a meal, but that would prove to be very expensive if we went anywhere decent. I know I’m making loads of excuses, but it’s bothering me about what to do. I’d rather the neighbours had just invited us round for drinks and nibbles and then it would be easier to invite them back.

Smileless2012 Sun 30-Aug-26 13:29:28

A buffet would be more than acceptable honeyrose so get the invitations out and enjoy smile.

pably15 Sun 30-Aug-26 13:30:12

no use worrying over this, a buffet would be lovely, personally I prefer a buffet to a sit down meal at someones house.

GrannyGravy13 Sun 30-Aug-26 13:30:12

If your DH will only eat English food, how about inviting your neighbours for Sunday lunch?

Easy to cook, easy to serve, both main course and desert.

Sheba Sun 30-Aug-26 13:33:43

Why don’t you order in a takeaway, I’m sure your neighbours would see it as a novelty not as an easy option.
I’m sure if it were something like Chinese there would be acceptable alternatives on the menu for English tastes.

Toetoe Sun 30-Aug-26 13:34:06

Buffet would be perfect . Relaxing and informal . How lovely to have such nice neighbours

Georgesgran Sun 30-Aug-26 13:39:30

A buffet sounds good, but that’s quite a lot of preparation? I’ve followed quite a few recipes for a whole well seasoned chicken roasted over various vegetables, so you’d only need a green vegetable to accompany that. We absolutely adore an M&S New York cheesecake for dessert with an assortment of berries, also from M&S.

Nell82 Sun 30-Aug-26 13:39:33

Yes, go for a buffet. Shops like M and S and Waitrose do some lovely platters of food to order. It saves that last minute panic when the timing of hot food has gone wrong.

Guests can sit in a comfy chair with a coffee table at hand for their drink. It's a more leisurely experience and people can choose their own plateful and not have to pass the gravy round.

Fara56 Sun 30-Aug-26 13:44:14

Charcuterie board prepped in advance? This was for 3 people plus olives, crackers and artisan bread. And wine. There was ample for 4 people so just add a bit more

Astitchintime Sun 30-Aug-26 13:47:49

I think a buffet is the best option too. Focus on the foods you can cook well, buy in good quality ‘party style’ food too. But most of all, relax and enjoy their company.

Rocketstop2 Sun 30-Aug-26 14:03:08

Definitely a buffet and you can fill the table with loads of crisps, snacks, bowls of nuts. Get some ready made salads, stick them in a bowl, get a few French sticks and some decent butter.Basically buy everything and open packets ! A nice trifle for after or alternative ice cream dessert goes down well.
I think you would enjoy it more, than cooking and worrying.
During this get together I'd casually say 'For our next get together, shall we all go out for a meal for a change, we could take it in turns to pick a venue' If you got into the habit of doing that, it would be much easier, and then all of your group could still have people round but for drinks and nibbles instead of a meal.

Ziplok Sun 30-Aug-26 14:05:02

Have you got a slow cooker? How about preparing a stew of some kind, eg coq au vin, beef - there are lots of straightforward recipes on line. The beauty of doing it in the slow cooker is that you can set it going in the morning so it will be ready early evening and it will look after itself. If you add plenty of veg to the pot then all you need to serve as a side would be mashed or boiled potatoes and maybe some peas.
If you want to have a dessert, there are plenty of delicious ready made ones from the likes of Marks, Sainsbury’s, etc to take the pressure off, or maybe make a fruit crumble - that can be prepared well in advance then popped in the oven whilst eating your main course.

Of course, a buffet will be equally as acceptable, but it does require some work putting it all together if doing it from scratch yourself, though of course supermarkets do ready prepared ones which include mini sandwiches with various fillings, mini pork pies, sausage rolls and quiche plus various other bits. I’ve used those in the past and they’ve been very acceptable - just add a few extra savouries such as crisps, nuts, cheese and crackers, etc (checking for allergies/intolerances beforehand) and a couple of sweet things., plus a variety of drinks.

Whatever you choose, relax and enjoy the company of your neighbours, so prepare something that does not require too much last minute faffing.

Out of interest, what did your neighbours provide when you went to them? Could you do something similar?

25Avalon Sun 30-Aug-26 14:08:39

Try Cook. They do ready frozen meals for 6. All you need to do is heat it. They also do some lovely starters and desserts.

justwokeup Sun 30-Aug-26 14:36:09

I get anxious too - it’s no use saying relax and enjoy it. Why don’t you invite them for drinks and nibbles as you suggested but make it a bit more ‘filling’ with some larger bits of the M&S type offerings. Do you like games? Drinks and nibbles would fit well with a murder mystery or a few games of Yahtzee. Do off your way, you won’t enjoy it otherwise.

Madgran77 Sun 30-Aug-26 14:59:00

A buffet is great or M&S "entertainibg" meals or Cook are good too

Romola Sun 30-Aug-26 15:40:38

The thing is, if you don't reciprocate, you don't get invited again.
Lots of excellent suggestions from everyone on here.
I'd go with Cook. How about their cottage pie and some green beans?
You could dish up the cottage pie from the stove and have just the dish of beans on the stove. Husband must do drinks.
(Now that it's just me, I only do a roast for family. There's too much to do at the last minute - gravy, carving, veg into dishes etc - so I do one-pot things like pies for guests.)