Guest has come down with Covid...

He has his phone, he'll be fine. Hope you will be too.

what age is he.

Not long till Tuesday, let him sit around on his phone and he will soon be gone.

23, I think. But youngest of a large family with a SAHM and I suspect used to being looked after. When I asked him if he wanted to use the washing machine (he's been travelling in Europe for four months, staying in hostels) he just handed me a bag with some of the smelliest clothing I've ever encountered! I put it through the wash twice and still there's a vague whiff of testosterone.

We've had previous young visitors from abroad and they do tend to treat us like mum and dad and expect not to have to pay for anything while they're here. I try to organise something to do/ somewhere to go most days so that they get to see something of the UK. We visit family abroad, but for a maximum of three days — and of course we have a hire car and take ourselves off, and we take people out to lunch or dinner. It's different with the youngsters. They're much more dependent.

I am recovering from covid myself and am glad to be in my own house.
There's not much you can do apart from what you are. Make sure he has plenty to drink and his phone charged.
He will be fine.

Thanks for all the advice about the phone. This is normal, is it? Just scrolling on his phone, looking at photos? We've never had children so I'm totally out of touch.

Oh yes Margot I'm afraid it is normal.
DH and I hosted over 200 Help Exchange volunteers from all over and occasionally we got an ungrateful so and so one who took us for granted but usually they were helpful and charming.
I silently praised their parents for bringing them up so well.
He may just be feeling too unwell to be on his best behaviour.

Absolutely normal, however, he can do own washing and food prep, including tidying up.

I would just leave him be and put up with it over the weekend...As you say he will be gone by Tuesday...All young people just sit on their phones....It seems to be their happy place...I do this with my GD...If she wants anything she asks me....I don't suggest going out or taking her anywhere as she says "I'm not to bothered granny"....My daughter tells her off but I say to leave her be....Shes happy.

I just don't get it. They pay thousands to get here and then they just sit around sending messages to friends — something they could have done at home. I'm going to have to think more carefully about any future visits. One of the ones we had previously came for five nights, which we agreed to, then asked to stay a little longer. Eventually left after 11 days and only because we were due to go away for the weekend and I told her she wasn't staying in the house on her own.

I think you also need to remember that Covid can make you feel very tired, even for a young person. Just keep giving him drinks and easy to eat food, and let him do his own thing.

If he's been travelling for four months, he will be well used to sorting out his travel and accommodation. Just leave him to it, but perhaps find an excuse to ask him what day he will be leaving as you "need to do something/go somewhere" !

Yes wildswan a good suggestion -a reminder that you have a life even if he doesn't seem to.
Are his parents close relatives Margot?

When he's a bit better show him how to use a washing machine! A rich friend had a machine installed near their bedrooms, from the age of 16 they were responsible for their own school uniforms!

You sound very kind to accommodate all these young visitors, especially as you say you had no children of your own.

I hate to sound cynical, but do you think these visitors are taking you for granted?

“ Oh, Auntie Margot will be glad to have you stay for a few days. She’ll do your washing, cook you some nice meals…..”

i think you have become known as a soft touch, OP, among the extended family.
you don't have to be.

We had a French student for four weeks who had been brought up by his mum and granny. Really sulky and off hand. Found later he was sent here because he didn’t do well in his English exams!
When my son started university he shared with seven others. They referred to him as the Soft Southern Poofter till they needed his help to use the oven, washing machine and microwave! Not one of them had a clue! Most are still friends 25 years later. Hard to imagine sending them out into the world so clueless.

I'm not particularly close to his parents, but when they came over in their 20s and lived and worked here (they lived for a few months with an elderly aunt, poor woman, before getting jobs and finding their own place) they were a bit older and there were the two of them and they were more independent. They drove, for example, and bought an old car as soon as they arrived. So less of the ferrying around that I've been doing. They were both professionals — she a teacher, he an engineer.

I've stayed with this young man's parents a couple of times when I've visited NZ. But I've never asked or wanted to stay more than two or three nights at the maximum, and I've taken wine and flowers and taken the family out to dinner while I've been there. I prefer, actually, to find somewhere to stay nearby and just visit. I think a couple of hours at a time — enough to talk and bond but not long enough for it to feel like work — is less stressful.

I do think perhaps they come here to chill out after weeks of travelling. Laundry, food and access to free wifi and streaming services are possibly all that matters. My insistence on dragging them to see cathedrals and historic houses and ancient burial sites must bore them stupid.

What’s a SAHM ? I m sorry I need written English too ignorant to bother working it out
Anyway back to the problem Phones are books/tvs and libraries for this generation no different there to any tonic person
When I had CoviD while staying at my youngest daughters whilst not horrendously ill I felt tired and miserable and wanted to be home so spent most of the time in the bedroom not wanting to pass it round (which I did anyway) and on my iPad
Tuesdays only round the corner but if he’s only tested positive today he could still be ill on Tuesday ?‍?

stay at home mother

Stay At Home Mum/Mother.

I'm 60 and normally work 4 days a week. We've talked about work and he knows I've taken time off to take him around because I figure this may be his only visit to my part of the country, but there's no apparent inkling that it might be ever so slightly inconvenient or anything...

I'm trying to chill out about it, but it's messed up all my plans for the weekend.

to be honest, i think i'd find being dragged around old places quite boring too.
he probably feels he has to humour you.
but then again i would not stay, land on anyone like that.
it's tricky for you, as i can imagine that you didn't want to leave him alone in the house while you went to work.
maybe in future, if you agree to anyone coming again, make clear that you can only do 3 days=2 nights, over weekend, as you have to go to work.
at a push you could take one day off, but maybe not tell them that.
tell them what time you will be dropping them at the bus station on 3rd day.
don't ask vaguely about their plans; don't drop hints; take control and set the agenda.
and certainly do no washing for them. set the machine to 40 degree synthetics wash, and shew them the on switch.
don't encourage them to treat you as staff.
good luck.

Clearly he’s not a close relative as you say you ve stayed briefly with his parents (not with my cousin/aunt/in law etc)

You can’t take him out anywhere this weekend if he has CoviD so just look after him as much as needed and leave him to his room and phone etc hopefully he’s well enough to move on Tuesday
Make sure he’s got food drink and his bed and carry on with your weekend as you wish (you better test before you go out and about though as chances are you may well get CoviD too)

If he’s spent months travelling, he’s probably tired and had enough of sightseeing (with other teens/young people hes met in youth hostels etc) and doesn’t need an older couple taking him out and about and don’t forget before he tested positive he may have been ill a day or two and tired
I think you’re expecting too much of a 23 year old who s been
travelling to want to sightsee in U.K. for a week

I m afraid if someone is a guest in my house I expect to cook and wash for them, obviously not if they were staying for months or a paying guest
When my grandkids come over I always do their washing as I deem them on holiday and I want to look after them
Each to their own

wow 'I think you’re expecting too much of a 23 year old who s been travelling to want to sightsee in U.K. for a week '

he is 23, not 15! What was the point in coming then, and put upon relatives to host him?

BlueBelle

Clearly he’s not a close relative as you say you ve stayed briefly with his parents (not with my cousin/aunt/in law etc)

You can’t take him out anywhere this weekend if he has CoviD so just look after him as much as needed and leave him to his room and phone etc hopefully he’s well enough to move on Tuesday
Make sure he’s got food drink and his bed and carry on with your weekend as you wish (you better test before you go out and about though as chances are you may well get CoviD too)

If he’s spent months travelling, he’s probably tired and had enough of sightseeing (with other teens/young people hes met in youth hostels etc) and doesn’t need an older couple taking him out and about and don’t forget before he tested positive he may have been ill a day or two and tired
I think you’re expecting too much of a 23 year old who s been
travelling to want to sightsee in U.K. for a week

I m afraid if someone is a guest in my house I expect to cook and wash for them, obviously not if they were staying for months or a paying guest
When my grandkids come over I always do their washing as I deem them on holiday and I want to look after them
Each to their own

I'm an experienced host, a good cook and I look after guests well. We live in a beautiful area that a lot of people come to for holidays and we get lots of people staying. They come and stay because they want to be here with us, not because they want to sit around all week.

He expressed an interest in history and wanted to see some old places, and some dramatic landscapes, to photograph. If he had other interests we would have tried to accommodate them. He may be in this beautiful and interesting area for the first and last time in his life. It seems like a wasted opportunity not to see what's around here.