How many Grandads do we have?

nellie That's our girl! Gransnet is all the better for the likes of you. Your sense of FUN is infectious...and I loves ya!

gramps .....Nellie has returned! Best cancel the party and keep quiet about your goings on in the 50 grey hairs forum I'm off to lie low at Lilo Lil's back room and keep my head down

Pete and gramps If you both think for one moment that naughty nellie is oblivious to your recent shenanigans...think again!

They have been a pair of reprobates by the sound of it,I am making notes be warned am fulfilling my nursing duties at present,have learned how to administer an enema so pete and gramps better behave thank you all for your lovely comments missing you and my lovely soop enjoy your time with your wee manxxxxxxxxxlove u all

Oh dear Nelly
I see you're a bit of a poet,
There is wit there,and we know it.

So glad to have you back,
Pete and I have missed your whack!

We really are good lads you know,
To Ladies all, our affection show!

We try to share a merry jest,
To ease the probs. upon your chest!

At DIY I'm not too good,
But you should see my "bodge'd" wood.

Well done gramps that should do it. Lots of ladies in the 'lounge' at Lils today, keep hearing high-pitched screams and cries of "Come on Andy"....puts you off the darts. Oh and if you see nellie dont be bending over !! .....

i'm a grandad who is new on here
and I like to drink pints of good beer
Is this a wine bar I've found?
Or are others around
who drink beer and stout and strong ales
and single malt whiskey and eat meat pies
and chip butties?

Hiya Pete,
Where did Andy spring from. Was he hiding beneath "Big Jean", the urn?
What was Nell bending over? Backwards?

Must go to see how the story is progressing!

Good morrow to you Ichabod6, Sir. (We like to be polite to "newbees".

Come in and help us look after the Ladies.

Take your shoes off - they are very fussy about GETTING DOG POO ON the Axminster!

These ladies do NOT need "looking after"
It's normally the men who need it![cross]

Yes - none of your patronising man-talk in here, if you don't mind, gramps! Look at the trouble you and Pete get into without nellie to keep you in order....

It's starting to feel rather uncomfortable round here with all these 'gents' patronising the 'gels.' How about a fresh start, you men?

While the cats away anagram..... Right fresh start when...... One thing to remember, 'Our Shed, Our Rules' !

You are our tenants!

Yes! The Shed is a privilege, not a right!

jeni Anagram ...I thought it was called 'Grandad's shed'?

Perhaps we should have 'The Lady's Summerhouse'?

Yes. But we built it! I object to being patronised by either male or female GNers!
(give them an inch and they'll say it's 6")

Yes, you're right, Jacey!

Perhaps it's we who shouldn't be here! That'll learn 'em!
Leave them to their own devices (or just vices!).

Yes, the other threads can be on our terms if that's the grandads' rule! (how come all of a sudden, rules are being imposed?)

If we can keep nellie off the thread, we could boycott it until they learn some respect for us gran's?

Blimey! Grandads - you seem to be treading on dangerous ground

nellie holds the key, though - will she show solidarity with us, or will her head be turned by the likes of gramps and Pete?
BTW, what's happened to Pompa?

Quite. They will try to woo her with (probably false) promises of virtual drink and sex, and then leave her weeping with a virtual hangover when they get bored.

It is our duty to show nellie the wicked way these men have. She is obviously naive, the poor young innocent mite!

Oh dear, we're in danger of being as oppressive as the behaviour we have complained about. Can't we call a truce and just start afresh with an agreement not to be patronising towards the female users on here?

I'm happy with that