How many Grandads do we have?

Yes - and of course it works both ways!

How about ...agree not to be patronising to any user?

Then perhaps everyone will be happy?

or we could just move on?

Sorry Anagram crossed posts

Yes Jacey - any user - I said females because I was riled about being referred to as 'gels' and reading that the gents were going to 'look after us!' Grrrr!

But, yes - let's move on and have some decorum!

The (gentle )men have gone very quiet?

Probably sulking in their shed.
Sorry - couldn't resist! They are lovely gentlemen.

Agreed! But!

nellie holds the key and will lock the saucy buggers in if they don't behave them selves....they will get a court martial....I'm with the sister hood.
I have had a change of career and now am Matron after using my nursing skills over the last few days and will be preparing a nice big enema for them so they suffer from any more verbal diarrhoea

Behave boys or I will slap your legs

Dominatrix nellie!
Is this allowed under the new guidelines?

Oh yes nag matron knows best it isn't domination it is part of the treatment meted out to sauce boxes who don't know their place

Whatever you say, nellie!

[Grin]

Or even

Right....men were quiet because the football was on !! ...Summer house seems a good idea, then those that wanted to spend time in the 'shed' male or female could do so....but once your choice is made thats it ...as someone once said "Dont come a knockin when the shed is a rockin" Think it was Lil that said it..

Yes it probably was lil she has rocked many a shed in her time

Not seen gramps for ages, seems that one innocent remark sparked fury into some people.....anyway we are checking out the 'option to buy' on the rented shed Nellie or is that Matron....Jeni thinks we will try to Woo you with virtual drink and sex....the very idea!! That anybody could think such a thing is beyond belief....

UGH ERR gulp- Shiver BBRRRR
Itt's bbllooodeee colldd out 'ere. Where the heck am I?

Last thing I 'member, Lil, Ana ,M.Ecru Wife too( or three) plying me wiv water diluted wiv sumfink 'orrible of Lil's brewing!

Oooerr- I feel sick, ooops. Sorry Ladies!
I want --ZZzzzzz EEeeeZZZzzzz!

matron has been worrying about the increase of local elderly residents of care home admitted to hospital with a wide range of ailments arising from inserting objects,applying creams,taking and sniffing drugs to aid enhancement,a theft of amyl nitrate and glycerine suppositories and a wide range of sex toys which I have confiscated and a wide range of fruit and vegetables which are no longer edible and some really strange injuries inflicted with residents locked into painful positions .....have had to confiscate copies of 50shades of grey hair from the rooms of all affected.......virtual drink and sex......pour me a stiff one..now THAT is multi tasking..........matron

OH Matron. Where am I and which year is iT?
Whathappened?

Nellie, where are you?
Don't let Lil get me again! (so soon)

oh deargramps has that hussey been about your person and taking liberties againxxxx

While looking for Pete,I fell into the ditch around the shed. (Whose idea was that -a "moat" indeed, with just a narrow plank to cross!)

Lil helped me get out, then took me back to dry me out. The horlics was lovely, then I nodded off. Next I know, I'm outside , freezing cold. 'Don't remember more.
'Think I'll go home now!

Bye bye dear Nell! xx

Oh dear poorgramps perhaps you had better see if matron can help you,why dont you pop a long to her clinic ......you obviously haven't been feeling yourself....

Hey gramps I see that your favourite film The Italian Job with Michael Caine is on this afternoon,I hope you're watching it with Mrs gramps.
It should keep you out of nellie's hair for a while.

Thanks Nellie for your advice re. Matron.

I had to stop feeling myself - it upset the dog, and we don't have one!

What time are Matrons opening hours?