How many Grandads do we have?

That sounds more like groping to me, gramps

You could be right Ana. I never discovered -I was too shy - dammit!!
wish I knew then what I know now!

Hello Tricky, Just one thing....what goes on in Lil's back room..Stays in Lil's back room.

And thank goodness for that!

Quite. I can't take all this. I'm to bed. Work tomorrow.
Sleep well all!

I think I can retire from being resident provider of jokes - nellie's posts are funnier than anything I can find.
Perhaps some our men could post a few jokes on 'This made me laugh'?

Our Lil has been recruiting staff and now has a pot man by the name of Isiah,he is on a rehabilitation programme after his release from Strangeways which provides a perfect description of his activities,he is of advancing years with a predilection for coke.. He suffers from a permanent attack of Colombian flu,but we are assured by his probation officer as long as he visits the local clergy every week for support he should be ok....
Lils new barmaid is Flip Flop Flo ...she is on a granny gap year,and is working her way around as many low establishments as she can in order to write her memoirs she favours the style of Belle DeJour's Diary of a Call Girl,although any attention Flo gets is entirely unsolicited..at the moment...although she may be doing some research for her book..and I would imagine Lils experiences may provide some inspiration ....

I do hope Flip Flop Flo's name refers to her footwear and not to any let it all hang out loose habit she may have?!!

Have seen Flo in action this name is inspired by her massive bottom,she has to wear platters on the back of her heels to ease the blisters caused by friction from the billowing buttocks..Lil would never employ some one who would deflect from her assets....

Billowing buttocks for some.... Love handles for others!

Variety is the spice of life...and logistics plays a part,the space behind Lils bar is very limited and to have two ladies with ample proportions in the same place may cause a problem this way they can move freely behind the bar fitting comfortably in one space at the same time....however Flo's bounty does tend to sweep the bottles at that height from the shelf,so Lil has introduced multi tasking and attaches a duster to Flo's derrière so she can dust the shelf at the same time unfortunately in passing Lils attributes have been known to sweep any nuts off the bar so she attaches a cloth to her front to wipe the bar as well they make a good team......

I'm a grandad .. my eldest daughter had Jacob almost 2yrs ago .. .. I joined Gransnet today and this is my first message on the site .. although my initial involvement was to enter the various competitions.

Hello Snapshot and welcome to the virtual world of The shed and Lilo Lils pub and all the regulars...draw up a stool and we will introduce you to all of Lils delights at her hostelry....you may not have chosen the most sanest of threads to post on but I he you enjoy your visits around Gransnet

Hi Nell, thanks for the wlecome .. if Lil ca pull a good one, er, pint that is .. I'll feel at home .. as for sanity .. I rejected that as unsuitable software for my poor, tired, damaged mind.

LIl can pull a good one she has a fine tuned right arm honed to perfection over her years as a landlady....she also had plenty of practice as she did a short stint in a garage as a petrol pump attendant she was very deft at wiping her nozzle and shaking off the drips.....

snapshot Welcome to us lot. Naughty Nellie will be so good for your sanity. If anyone can resuscitate a 'poor, tired, damaged mind' ...or any other wilting body part, our Nell most surely can.

Nellie - I love you! I was feeling a bit down until I read this thread.

Working on a Shed extension as we speak......

Greatnan - you cannot fail to be uplifted when you read Nellie's latest escapades. I think that she's been blest with a marvellous sense of humour. I love her too.

Aww shucks love you too greatnan hope you feel better now,and it was a passing cloud...and my lovely soop I hate my friends to be sadxxxxx

No chance with you around, nellie

Thankyou also Soop .. I can see you all much prefer smilies to frownies .. way to go I say

Yep, snapshot...life on GN is far from dull. Haven't giggled so much in years.

Hello, Snapshot. I too am a recent joiner and a Grandan (X2). From what I have seen so far, Grandads are a small, but not a persecuted, minority. The ladies here do not seem like 'Grumpy Old Women', always blaming the admittedly grumpy, Old Men. I would say that the site has a nice feel but if I did, I think any innuendo that could be squeezed out of these innocent words, would be. I joined because Age UK put me in touch and I wanted signatures on an e-petition for an effective Telephone Preference Service. I am still here. I feel a little like a teenager again, not quite sure of the female company but, so far, they seem not too threatening and fun. There is talk of a Shed for Grandads but it seems heavily populated with ladies - and thank heavens for that. The idea of being locked in a shed with a load of old blokes would be a resignation issue. Welcome and good luck!

Frankel, I'm afraid you are under a misapprehension. There are no ladies in Grandad's Shed - perish the thought! If you are referring to the Meals on Wheels person who ministered to gramps during his time of affliction, that was Lil from the local pub, who can best be described as a Jill of All Trades - but certainly not a 'lady'!