Husband and his dog

Of course you are not here on false pretences defnotnanny --baby is here, just hasn,t popped out to say 'hello' yet !! Welcome and Good Luck !!

I also feel that the dog might feel put out by the presence of a new baby and become sulky or even aggressive, especially if he isn't used to babies and young children as I suspect he isn't.

Thank you absentgrana. Still feel I am here under false pretences at the moment!

Welcome to gransnet defnotnanny The first grandchild is a joy and delight (and it gets better with subsequent ones). I hope all goes well next month and you have loads of lovely cuddles with the little one.

Thank you all for your support of my own view on this. It is an ongoing issue really. My other daughter and boyfriend are not allowed dogs/cats in their rented flat (tho they do have pet rats!) and my son's wife is allergic to animal hair and has to take anti-histamines prior to visiting us. Am beginning to feel socially stranded It's difficult to seek advice from friends, because I don't want them to feel that I am asking them to have the dog in a roundabout way. I think that if my husband really wants to come too, then it is up to him to ask around and see if he can find a kind friend to have the dog for a day or two. Dog issues aside, I am really excited about the baby. It will be my first grandchild and am so pleased to have found Gransnet!

Baggy for Prime Minister

If the dog isn't welcome to the daughter, then the dog can't come. If the dog owner doesn't want to be apart from the dog, then he can't come either. If dog owner feels "put out", tough. The needs and desires of the mothertobe come first. Also last. I think, defnot, that a little putting your husband second for a change would not do him any harm. If he really thinks it's OK to take a dog that is not welcome into the house of a new baby, then he is being selfish. Just tell him daughter doesn't want dog around. No argument.

Maybe it would be wiser for your husband to stay at home with the dog? If it's old and a bit cantankerous, it would be stressful for everyone if it was to be there, don't you think? I can understand how your husband feels too, though, as the old dog is still part of his family! Would it be possible for you to pop home for a weekend during your stay, as your son-in-law would be with your daughter?

I know of a lady who is a pet-sitter. She moves in and takes control for however long she's needed. Naturally she gets a small wage. She enjoys the challenge and apparently there are many others who feel likewise. Otherwise, if man and his dog are not welcome, then man and dog will have to stay put on this occasion.

defnotnanny You definitely cannot take a dog to a house where there is a cat without the house owner's permission. It is simply not fair on the cat whose home it is – even if it has a dog of its own. Your daughter has quite enough going on this time without trying to keep dog and cat separate or worrying about the cat running away and getting lost, run over, adopted by someone in the next street who thinks it's a stray, abducted by aliens, etc. It might not come home this time and your daughter doesn't really want to be pounding the streets, sticking notices on lamp posts and looking under cars while calling "Tiddles, Tiddles" with tears running down her nose. Also, lovely though dogs are, a new mum doesn't terribly want them poking their noses into places where there is a tiny baby even if it is just inquisitiveness rather than aggression.

First, your husband must understand that your daughter's cat is as important a pet to her as his dog is to him. I appreciate that he is unenthusiastic about kennels, especially for an old and needy dog. It looks as if the only solution is for your husband to stay at home with the dog. However, if a neighbour could be prevailed upon to do a little looking after, perhaps your husband could travel to your daughter's, stay overnight and travel home again the next day. This is not an ideal solution but right now the most important people in this scenario are your daughter and soon-to-be grandchild.