Whats it really like living alon

I'm in Backwell -10 miles SW of Bristol.
I've lived alone for almost 30 yrs.There are a few of us in the Bristol area.

Which side of Bristol are you? I'm in Poertishead.

I lost my other half in 2012 having lived in Turkey for ten years and having been together for 31 years. We had a beautiful home there, but I could not bear to live there without him so returned to UK and bought an apartment. I tried renting, but hated it. I now live near Bristol with the dog and cat, having brought them back from Turkey. I do not have a social circle and one son, who lives a few miles away. I joined the Luncheon Club and Jolly Dollies!! I have lost my confidence with motorway driving having been away for ten years, so am limited (although do have my bus pass yipee). So far I hate every minute of it without him, although believe it or not nobody would know, only you.

Is there anybody else out there that lived abroad but had to return.

My FIL died in May and of course it is early days but MIL hates being on her own. They were married very young so had been together for more than 65 years. Luckily she only lives 20 mins away by car so sees us regularly. Our DDs and their family keep her included too. MIL is 83 and although she uses crutches, she is still able to get around and she drives.

What has surprised us is how she has changed in a number of ways. FIL was a perfectly good man but very set in his ways and we have noticed how she now has opinions of her own. She is happy to try all sorts of different foods whereas they always had 'meat and two veg' because he didn't like food messed about with. She seems much more out going and has joined some local groups, going by herself which she has never done before. I'm sure she would rather have FIL with her but it seems to me that she is sort of finding out who she is.

Have any of you noticed the same of yourselves or friends and relatives ?

Envious my son is still at college, 18 years old and I am trying to encourage him to leave next year so that at 52 I can get my life back!

for tomorrow trendygran, I hope there are enough happy memories of better times to help you through.
In general, however, I think it is important to clearly distinguish between alone and lonely and also not to be misled, mainly by the likes of TV advertising, into thinkng that everybody else is always having a non-stop Warners Holiday-type jolly time with smiling spouses brandishing golf clubs, or hordes of angelic DGC who visit every couple of days with a smile and a cake/bunch of flowers for their dear old gran and never fight, DC who pop in and out of the 4* retirement village to listen to Mum's anecdotes and ask her advice, etc etc etc.
Life ain't like that, but nobody posts on Facebook to say they haven't seen a soul for three days, they're having soup and a roll on a tray in front of Countdown and their bunions are playing up!!

Lived a long time in a bad relationship which was lonely. I've lived alone for a while now and really love it. I am sad when daughters have left after a visit but that's because I miss them and am going to be living near them in less than a year so looking forward to that but will still like having my own space, I have always liked my own company. I appreciate I choose to be alone would never contemplate another relationship. I have lots of friends and actually envy those of you who have had a lovely marriage I've never had that and I understand that would make a difference but I don't have a problem being alone I never had. Perhaps it's to do with personality?

Have now been on my own for 7 years tomorrow. At times it seems ok and means I can make my own choices of TV programmes etc -and don't have to watch football or Rugby ! Most of the time I would so much prefer to have my DH to share life, conversation {limited though it was by his deafness} meals, holidays etc . I do have good friends and manage to get out to U3A , lunches out sometimes ,but still haven't got used to returning to no-one at home to spend evenings with and talk about the day or discuss family /household matters with. Hopefully one day I WILL be able to do that. Here's to all other Gransnetters who live on their own.

"Bullied off"???
No way, Anya, I believe she reincarnated more than once but not before some truly foul mouthed vitriolic PMs.

And she did seem to come back under other names

Cheelu wasn't "bullied" off, she actually was quite offensive to some members via pm's

I had a lightweight vacuum but it was also lightweight on suction. I could have ordered one on line but then there's all the having to wait in for the delivery.

I like to be as independent as possible and there is some satisfaction in coping with all the things that crop up.

My boiler needs major work done on it so it's a big job involving me staying in all day and I do like to get out and about.

Because my health is OK and I'm not old I want to cope on my own but yes, sometimes it would be lovely to have someone else to share the worries with.

Falcon, I had to get a new vacuum cleaner after I was in hospital two years ago, as my other one weighed too much for me to use.
My son's partner took me to buy it after I had researched to find one I could afford that weighed less than 5kg.
At the moment I know I should ring up and get the boiler serviced, but I can't be bothered. However, after it's been done, I'll wonder what the fuss was about.
I definitely procrastinate about most things. It's a mix of being on your own and being more ill than I was when he died.

Falcon I am sure your sons would be happy to help now and again. Do you manage to get out with friends/family? I know it is not the same but when my husband left years ago and I was alone with two small children the nights were very long when they went to bed. I did make sure I went out at least one night. I had a good bunch of friends and the telephone was my lifeline. I learnt to do some DIY and was very proud of myself. I think access to the internet and forums like this must help nowadays

One of the hardest things for me now I'm a widow is coping with everything alone. I have a problem with my boiler and all the responsibility is on me. When my husband was alive we would take it in turns to be the one "holding the fort" as we used to call it but now I feel I am on permanent alert to deal with all the things that crop up in everyday life.

I try not to ask my sons for help because my mum was a widow for nearly 40 years and was very demanding of my time and I don't want to repeat that pattern.

The day may come (I'm 70 next year) when I may need to call on them but yesterday I went to a store and bought a new vacuum cleaner, but how to get it home as I don't drive? I asked the assistant to carry the vacuum cleaner outside and I rang for a taxi. The driver was very obliging and carried the vacuum to the car and into my flat.

I'm learning to manage but it is lonely and everything is more complicated and tiring when you're on your own.

Btw rubylady I'm not sure I could live full time with my grown son. You love them dearly but glad they've move on to bigger things!

I often think a female roommate with similar interests and habits would be great company. Not necessarily my age but with similar neatness and consideration. We had a tv show called The Golden Girls older women sharing a house. Would be lovely if it worked!

It's not always husbands, I got rid of him some years ago now. No it's the darling son. Some days I cannot wait to live on my own, when he has gone to conquer the world, watch tele without him passing comment on my programmes, listen to Manchester Radio without him telling me I am old, sleep when I want without him saying I am a croc etc. Roll on.

I am extremely lonely knowing he is upstairs and won't give me any company than if he were not here. I know that because his dad was the same. I felt so much better getting away from him and moving on with people who wanted to be with me, I can't wait to do it again but at the moment I feel as though my son dampens my enthusiasm, energy and want to find new people to play out with.

I'd also like to say I admire those who enjoy their lives alone. I don't know what I lack. Maybe it's something to do with self esteem. Anyway your strong women!

Living alone means there's no reason to go to bed early.

Alright I'll be honest.To me the thought of living alone is almost a fate worse then death. I did live alone after my divorce from ex but I had a two year old to keep me company and always a cat. Had parents not to far from me.Now my only child lives in Calif. where I'm in the South.i remarried when my son was 9. I know I'd sleep to much..eat terrible and never see a soul if I lived alone. besides having a bad back that when it goes out I'm mostly helpless!

been divorce 15 years,,had a few flings in my time,,and now live alone,,doesnt really bother me,there are few things you can do with partner that you cant do with friends,think ive had the best of both worlds ,,

Shouldn't have posted that should I?

Oops! forgot, there is no bullying on GN

CHEELU wasn't she bullied off the forum?