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Is this normal at junior school?

(50 Posts)
Stansgran Tue 21-Jan-14 06:58:21

Because she is not yet wearing a bra my 10 year old DGD is being teased because she does not wear a bra. Is this normal at junior school? I am looking after my DGCs for the next week and she has come up with this. Evidently some wear two! Bras to give them some shape. She has mentioned it to her mother who said to her that there was no point wearing bra until she had something to put in it. In my day we were post war skinny kids and this problem didn't seem to arise until teens . My own DDs were also skinny but again I don't remember bras in junior school.any advice or suggestions on what to say welcome. I've always tried to balance praise for looks with praise for being clean and tidy teeth and hair wise.

Ana Tue 21-Jan-14 21:20:52

Crikey, seasider, how old are you? grin I wasn't allowed a bra until I was about 34B, and the smallest size you could get was 32B...

Iam64 Wed 22-Jan-14 08:01:34

I remember 28 AA as well - I was very skinny in my early teens, and found the whole bra/compulsory showers together very embarrassing.

Lona Wed 22-Jan-14 08:10:18

I had a 28AA too, and I can remember the first day I wore it, as if it were yesterday.

Nelliemoser Wed 22-Jan-14 08:31:51

Not really related but when in mid teens DD wanted to be like her friends with a "push up" bra we spent a long Sunday in M&S and John Lewis where an assistant eventually convinced her that size 32DD boobs just did not fit well in "push up" bras. She has a relatively narrow back.

Atqui Wed 22-Jan-14 08:55:16

Deeda and NellieM Iit was the same for me..soooo embarrassing when everyone else had a bra and I didn't , even though I was by no means flat chested;and as for those communal showers ....

Deedaa Wed 22-Jan-14 21:01:10

One way or another I managed to avoid a lot of PE and games and only rarely suffered the showers. I was never happy about the way the games mistresses used to watch us ("You haven't got anything we haven't seen before!") particularly the very butch one who had half a dozen favourites and was pretty sadistic with the rest of us.

Elegran Wed 22-Jan-14 21:08:38

We didn't have any showers so they were not a problem.

seasider Wed 22-Jan-14 21:31:15

Got my first bra when I was 12(1969). It was the Berlei teen form which I got after begging my mum for weeks. I was delighted because I could actually fill a size 32A!grin

susieb755 Wed 22-Jan-14 21:39:32

I was still a 28A when I was 20 .....

My DD wore a crop top as a compromise - its a good halfway measure

Iam64 Thu 23-Jan-14 08:23:25

Deedaa - totally with you on the communal showers, and the unpleasant gym mistress. Ours would stand at the end of the showers, so watched us run, in, through the showers (always too cold) and then out the other end. I didn't like it, and even at 11 and 12, felt there was something rather unpleasant about the way she did this. For girls who were particularly shy, it was just awful.

AlieOxon Thu 23-Jan-14 08:56:37

Deedaa my god, I had exactly the same!
Useless showers - just wet your feet in the middle, hated gym mistress and all.............

Penstemmon Thu 23-Jan-14 09:56:53

How times change! I was at boarding school aged 12 and needed a bra as though not broad backed i seem to have plenty of front! I wrote to my mum to ask for bras & sh sent me cast offs that a family friend's daughter no longer wore. They were those ones made from long strips sewn into a cone shape!

My DGD1 aged 8 nagged for crop tops to be like her friends... how young a is this starting?? My DD, against her better judgement & much to her partner's dismay bought a pack of crop tops. DDs approach is if you do not make it taboo it becomes less exciting! DGD wore them for a week or two but has not looked at them since and I noticed on recent sleepover she was wearing a cosy short sleeved vest under her top!!

However when girls are 'budding' I think it is fine to wear crop tops if it avoids them feeling exposed. At an all girl's boarding school it never occurred to us to be embarrassed as we saw each other naked all the time and accepted all shapes and sizes..but then we were not bombarded with ideal' models. It was always a point of discussion..'What do you hope happens first? Wearing a bra or 'starting'' We did not want either to happen!!

I would have thought school would have held its sex and relationship lessons by now (Y6??) and that body image /development etc should be part of that.

Atqui Thu 23-Jan-14 11:49:33

Goodness did we all have the same games mistress? Some of us used to stand in the shower cubicles ( partially curtained) with a towel and pretend to be showering. Miss S would then throw back the curtain with a flourish and all hell would be let loose!! I suppose my coyness came from having a prudish mother,but there were many who felt the same in those days ( early sixties)

Ana Thu 23-Jan-14 11:51:20

Ours didn't have curtains at all! It was a sort of walk-through affair...nowhere to hide!

Penstemmon Thu 23-Jan-14 11:57:48

Ana same at my secondary day school that I went to after boarding! No showers at boarding school..just a bath a couple of times a week in a horrible cubicle with no door locks

AlieOxon Thu 23-Jan-14 13:20:39

I remember my mum dressing under her nightie....

yogagran Thu 23-Jan-14 13:44:35

I can remember watching my Mum getting dressed (she was never bothered about hiding away) and I was always horrified to watch her doing up all the hooks on her Spirella corset and thinking how uncomfortable it must be

Do you mind your GC being in the same room when you change or dress? My GC are often tucked up in bed in the morning with Grandad when I've just had my shower and I must admit to being very aware of what they see but it's only because I've had a mastectomy and reconstruction so I'm a totally different shape to their Mum. There will be questions one day I'm sure

Penstemmon Thu 23-Jan-14 14:20:57

I shower with the DGCs and have a laugh as they discuss the various differences between my body and their mother's! I offer factual answers and try to be matter of fact. I hope that if they see I am comfortable confused with my body they will grow up happy with theirs. The little one , who is not skinny like her sister, says happily that she is a little bit fat!

Deedaa Thu 23-Jan-14 20:43:09

GS2 who is just 13 months was busily pulling all my clothes up or down depending which bits he'd got hold of today. He was even quicker at putting them all back though! Obviously I am no longer the Body Beautiful grin

Ana Thu 23-Jan-14 20:49:58

grin You've just reminded me of when my two GDs were younger, Deeda - they were fascinated by my legs under my trousers, and whether I was wearing a vest or not...

seasider Fri 24-Jan-14 07:29:15

My DD is very petite. I took DGS swimming and whilst we were getting changed he said at the top of his voice " you've got massive boobies Grandma!". Luckily it was quite quiet that dayblush

Atqui Fri 24-Jan-14 09:40:51

Ha Ha! It would have been even funnier if I'd been there and he d remarked on mine!!!!!

BlueBelle Fri 24-Jan-14 18:31:09

When my grandson was about 4 he was in a shops changing room with his Mum and said in a very loud voice ' Are they your nip-pells Mum' (spelt as he said it)

Nelliemoser Fri 24-Jan-14 19:29:30

It's funny that when you were that age it seemed that you were the only one who was shy of going into the showers.
I got those feelings from my very prudish mother.

Thinking about it though one would never have dared to admit to being morbidly shy in the showers.