Hungry Britain

Absolutely Penstemmon- but people also need to make choices that 'make sense' for their situation too. My DD1 says she'd love to have a 3rd or 4th child- but they've agreed it would not be right, as they struggle with very busy and responsible jobs, long commute, and want to be able to look after their kids well, listening to them reading, playing, listening, preparing good meals and packed lunches, etc. They can cope with 2, but are fully aware more would make this very difficult- especially as they started their family in their mid 30s. Is it 'smug' to make choices which you can deal with and cope with and not burden others? I personally do not think so.

People who are in a fortunate position or have families in a fortunate situation need to be mindful of others whose hard work may not bring the same rewards.

I had an employee in the same position as that described by penstemmonShe was a great person, really reliable, good at her job and then her Mum died, very suddenly from an embolism after a fairly routine non-emergency operation.Apart from the trauma of this, S had to deal with the fact that her child care had gone too. When my employee went to the benefits agency to ask for help she was told she would be better off not working as the costs of childcare in the school holidays would not be covered. We tried our best to make it work, but she was financially far worse off by working. The system is inflexible and lacks understanding. We did enquire whether she could work during term time and have the summer off, which I was happy to do, but no go, it takes an awful long time to get benefits started again when you stop them.

Jingle , and so you should be , my feelings exactly !

Because you have no idea how hard my son in law has worked, and at what cost, to get where he is now. Nothing was actually handed to him on a plate.

I am smug about my daughter and her little family. Smug, proud, and happy.

Shoot me now.

Well said Gillybob!

My DDs could not afford to stay in London. Fortunately both SIL had movable jobs and DD1 commuted to London. DD2 was at home with toddler and baby. Both have had to make 'choices' to match the needs of their family. DD2 has a bigger home but does not go away on holidays, did not (until v recently) have a car and they walked everywhere, no extra curricular clubs/classes etc. and cooked all meals from scratch..she could be that Jack woman!
DD1 deliberately chose a less expensive (mortgage) house so they could afford an annual holiday and a car. Horses for courses! But both lucky to have partners in f/t work though not particularly well paid (firefighter / builder). Both DDs are really the main breadwinners. DD1 works 4 days and DD2 3 days and they all get by!

I had my kids early-ish jingle then built up my career after motherhood!

I don't assume it is a lifestyle choice to be poor. That post was in response to Lilygran' s.

Why do you assume that it is a lifestyle choice to be poor jingle or indeed have a job that is not deemed to be up to a certain standard ? I am sorry but your last post comes across as very smug and self satisfied as if everyone should be "qualified" and have a "career" before they even think about having children. It has absolutely nothing at all to do with "waiting until they are qualified to have children" surely it depends on what they "qualify" as. My son (a qualified electrician) and DIL both work damned hard and long hours in jobs they probably hate. They both get rubbish wages. They are just doing whatever it takes to make an honest living and keep a roof over their heads. After all we can't all be solicitors, accountants, doctors, dentists and teachers can we?

My Dd cuts up carrots, cucumber , cheese and gives it to the DG"s with their tea , oh and apples and whatever fruit she has so they get a good deal of their 5 a day.
They have school dinners which seem to be well balanced also .
They eat breakfast with her also as SIL is busy going off to his job !

I'm very glad that my Dd and son-in-law are managing to bring my grandsons up in London on just son-in-law's salary whilst my Dd stays at home and does the childcare. I guess it's down to the fact that they waited to have children until s-i-l was qualified and settled into his career. Not a bad way to go about things.

But, of course, I fully respect other people's life choices, if it suits them and theirs.

I was reading an article in the paper at the weekend about families being moved out of London as their rents were beyond the benefit cap. One was a single mum who had been working but her mum' who did the childcare, died of cancer and as she could not afford private childcare and the rent (£500 pw) it was better financially to give up work. Now however she has been moved out of the area where she was born and brought up and may have to move again to a 'cheaper' area in the NE of England. Oh yes, let's fill up the NE , where jobs are scarce anyway with lots of families with no support network & no job opportunities. Something so very wrong in the system!.

Breakfast clubs and after school clubs aren't usually run by teachers. Parents pay for meals. I gave up paid work when my DSs were born in the early 1970s. We could just afford for me not to have a full time job. We didn't have holidays, let alone foreign holidays and we didn't have a car. I did odd jobs and part-time when my DH was available to look after the boys. I went back into full-time teaching when my younger DS started school. My job fitted in very well with the boys. Very few jobs do. Unfortunately, my DS and DDiL are bringing up our grandsons in the 2000s, in London, where the house prices and travel costs and every other cost are stupid. Neither has a family friendly job. I respect their right to organise their lives in the way they feel suits them and their family.

I know people in London with good jobs who have to choose between food and rent, there are not enough social workers who understand about living on a budget, one proudly brought me a magazine that had an article on how to feed your family on £5 a day, told her that was £35 a week and I had £20 on a good week, and would only feed 4 of the 5 children not to mention the adults.

I've worked on the appeals now for almost 20 years.
Before that I worked for the benefits agency ( before ATOS)

I DO NOT WORK FOR ATOS
I sit on the appeals. We are independant of the dwp and ATOS. We're part of the MoJ.
Dwp are bad at telling people what they're entitled to. They're ok if you ask 'ami entitled to anything else?' But my feeling is that they don't volunteer it!
At least that's my impression. I could be wrong.
I seem to spend a lot of time advising people as to their disability entitlements.

We found out, Galen, when he was 65, that for years he could have been getting a lot more benefit, but the DWP had not told him so. I never had any bnefit as a carer for him. There's that side too. We found out through Ageuk.

Which is the way it should be shysal I know my DGC would benefit from a breakfast club, but their school is sadly lacking in everything but the bare necessities.

Yes, Galen, my husband used to say that he could probably stuff paper into envelopes. That was before his ataxia got so bad that he couldn't fold a piece of paper.
How long have you been doing the reviews?
Have the rules changed much?
I have read on Pulse that lots of doctors have given up working for Atos because they do not agree with the system now.

In my area breakfast and after school clubs are not run by teachers, and a charge is made.
Whether some children receive free places if parents are on benefits I wouldn't know.

Absolutely spot on, Dragonfly

May I add my penny worth?
I see both extremes. I see both disabled people who won't give in to their disability and the people who are determined to live on benefits.
The latter have frequently been on benefit for many years without having been checked up on. Now they are examined and found fit for work, they think it's not fair as they haven't changed for years,
Another problem is that it is not their ability to perform their original or indeed any particular job that is being examined, but are they capable of performing a number of very basic physical and mental activities.

Thank you Aka.

dragon good point.