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To high to poo

(45 Posts)
Flowerofthewest Mon 08-Sep-14 23:06:46

My little DGS (turned 4 two weeks ago) has just started 'Big School'. He seems OK at the moment and enjoys being there (only been a few days) Today my DD was taken aside and the teacher said to her that he didn't realise that DGS needed a potty to do a poo. They did get a stool step from the nursery toilets to make it more comfortable for him.

My thing is that if schools now only have one intake for little ones, ie September whereas they used to have September and Spring Term (I think) what do they expect. He is the very youngest in the class and although we hold him on the toilet when he 'performs' he still needs assistance to wipe etc. Remember 2 weeks ago he was 3. He is a bright boy and quite tall for his age but is emotionally quite young. He even asked to go back to pre-school because they have his potty there. I do wish they had kept to the twice a year intake. He really needed that extra time. If he had stayed at pre-school he would be with just under twos up to just three. Quite a decision for parents.

Nelliemoser Mon 08-Sep-14 23:14:17

Flower It might well be a slight disadvantage for him to look older than he is as everyone else might expect more of him than he is ready to give. However tall and bright he is still very young. Poor little lad.

durhamjen Mon 08-Sep-14 23:16:20

Can you still not decide to keep your children back for a year?
I am sure the law is that they only have to start school when they are five. You cannot be prosecuted for not educating your child if he stays in preschool.

Flowerofthewest Mon 08-Sep-14 23:17:41

I think it is a disadvantage. He is still very very young. I really feel for him. Mine older children were 5 when they started school, my youngest is a September baby and was one of the oldest but was still 'young' being the baby of the family.

I really think that schools should have kept the twice a year intake, they are taking 10 children a week for the first 3 weeks to let them settle in slowly but it must be very scary for them

Aka Mon 08-Sep-14 23:21:19

If he was kept back for a year he would still have to join the same class / year group he is in now but a year later after they've had the advantage of a year in Reception. . It's a dilemma. One of mine has a 28th August birthday so I know what you mean Flower

Coolgran65 Mon 08-Sep-14 23:27:18

My son was 4 plus one month when he started real school. He was amongst the youngest in the class and it showed in confidence. The older children had almost one full year of maturity over the wee ones. He was about 13/14 before the age issue didn't matter any more and he got into his stride. He got well into his stride cos he's now a Ph.d.
But how I worried at the time.

rubysong Mon 08-Sep-14 23:29:45

Our children are starting school too early. Mine started full time in the term during which they had their fifth birthday and that seemed right for them. Prior to that they had two mornings a week at playschool, which was for play and getting used to sitting down for a story, sharing and making friends. Preschools seem to start 'educating' the tinies these days. They have a notice board in the village hall with some of their displays on it and some of the things on there are way above the experience and interest of a three year old, such as a world map and foreign languages. (We are in a very rural Cornish village, not at all multi cultural. Time for all that later.)

Soutra Mon 08-Sep-14 23:39:12

I understood the law was that they may start school early but must go in the term they turn 5 . No? Of course with one entry point in the year I don't know how you do that and also with pressure for places, if your DGC gets one he/she is bound to taake it. My new baby DGD will be 4+3 days when she is due to start school!!! Cross that bridge when they come to it, she is only just getting the hang of

MiceElf Tue 09-Sep-14 06:59:24

Is it worth suggesting that the school gets one of those loo seats that fits over the top of the regular loo? Together with a step stool it would make it easier. He could practise using it at home to make it familiar.

FlicketyB Tue 09-Sep-14 07:37:49

This is something I had never thought of. DGS has just started school aged 4 years 2 months. He is quite slight in build and, although lively and active, is officially underweight and the photos of him in school uniform on his first day at school really did emphasis that he is still very little in every sense.

He is being monitored by the hospital for his weight and ongoing constipation problems; that these might be exacerbated by the school loos hadn't occurred to me. I will mention them to my DDiL

NanKate Tue 09-Sep-14 07:41:54

My DGS 3 and a half was given two choc drops every time he used the loo for his poo, he learned very quickly, but still needs help cleaning himself up afterwards. I am not sure if teachers are allowed to do that.

Today he starts French lessons smile

Flowerofthewest Tue 09-Sep-14 15:11:19

He does have a loo seat now (I gave them mine - toddler seat) I do hope that teachers do help to 'clean up' after them. They must do in nursery and as children start school so early now it should be necessity.

Tresco Tue 09-Sep-14 15:49:11

Attendance at school, despite what many people think, is not compulsory: Parents of a child of compulsory school age are required to cause him/her to receive efficient full-time education suitable—

a: to his age, ability and aptitude, and

b: to any special educational needs he may have,

either by regular attendance at school or otherwise.

So as far as I am concerned you can have your children start school when you think they are ready.

Of course, this may give you a battle as organisations don't like their neat rules being messed about with. Nor does everyone have the luxury of staying at home with their children. I kept my eldest at home until he was six. We did some "work" everyday but mainly followed his interests. When he went to school it was a full year before he was asked to do anything he hadn't already done at home.

sparkygran Tue 09-Sep-14 16:17:47

Flower I have been spouting recently that back in the day there were 2 intakes one in September the other in January to accommodate those with June birthdays and you are the only person who remembers that. I`m so glad I didn`t imagine the whole thing. My DGD was only 4 and 2 months when she had to start school in 2008 and she is still catching up in maths her English is great but maths very difficult for her. I am sure she will catch up eventually but I still think it was far too early a start to full-time education.

durhamjen Tue 09-Sep-14 17:52:51

My youngest son's birthday is 20th August. Because of numbers he was not allowed to start until the September after he was five. He was in that class for a term and then moved into the class above for the rest of the year. He never had any problems fitting in with either class. He had friends in both classes, and he was shy.

HMHNanna Tue 09-Sep-14 18:16:17

Our DGS started school last Thursday. He will be 5 on the 26th of September. We have looked after him every Wednesday since he was 6 months old. He seemed to have settled in really well and his teacher said that he was more than ready for school. However at the end of school today when the teacher said to the children " See you all tomorrow" DGS said, " Oh I won't be coming tomorrow Miss, I go to my Nanna and Granddad's on Wednesdays. Bless!!

rosequartz Tue 09-Sep-14 18:25:22

DGD was 4+ 3 days when she started.
If you hold them back a year they then miss reception and enter school at year 1, aged just 5.
I think she could manage the toilet.
I do remember my mother always insisting that I did a 'poo' in the morning after breakfast. I realise now it was 'training' and so I didn't have to do one at school. Sometimes I fibbed and said I had done one but somehow she always knew. If I didn't do one I had a dose of syrup of figs.
However did I reach our fullsize outside toilet without a step?

rosequartz Tue 09-Sep-14 18:31:50

When they had a twice a year intake I think the younger children were more disadvantaged. DS, being summer-born, had to start in reception after the February half-term and therefore missed a term and a half of reception. He and the other younger children still had to move up to what was then 'middle infants' with all the others the following September.

FlicketyB Tue 09-Sep-14 18:46:08

DC infant school had a reception class and then beyond that had two classes each taking children from post-reception through to Junior transfer.

Each class had an intake of about 60 children and two fully qualified teachers. Children were grouped by a combination of ability and also by whether they had one year or two before they went up to Junior. This enabled the teachers to give extra help and attention to those only spending one year in the class and get them as close as possible to the standard that the 2 year stayers would have.

It seemed to work very well and the junior school had a high achievement level.

Aka Tue 09-Sep-14 19:47:54

'because of numbers he wasn't allowed to start until the September after he was five'?????

Really Jen? Never come across this in all my years of teaching. How unusual.

rosequartz Tue 09-Sep-14 20:23:23

Flower How high are the toilets?

I can't remember if I read it on here or someone told me that they had built a wonderful new primary school somewhere but that the infant toilets were full-size and some of the little ones couldn't reach them.

Flowerofthewest Tue 09-Sep-14 21:54:00

They are very small toilets I think it's just that he always insists to poo on his pot. They are using the loo seat at home now so hopefully it will resolve itself.

Today he was beside himself when going into school. My poor DD was sobbing when she phoned me a little later. His teach had to coax him in with some effort. She received a phone call 40 minutes later from the teacher to say that he had settled and had stopped crying within a couple of minutes.

I feel he is so so young, they still need quite individual attention at that age.

Deedaa Tue 09-Sep-14 22:08:02

Four seems very young for school. GS1 was a month off five when he started. He was advanced for his age but still found it quite a big thing to start with. He started in reception with most of his friends from pre school. When my two started school they went to the little village school, which had three classes covering five to eleven year olds. They stayed in each class until they seemed ready to move up to the next one.

Icyalittle Tue 09-Sep-14 23:06:52

Aka my DS with an August birthday wasn't allowed to start until he was 5 either - 1981 Lincolnshire. Round here now in a Wilts village, if you don't take an offered place at 4+, you almost certainly won't get your most local school, and it will be the next village 5 or 6 miles away. Pressure of numbers but quite an 'incentive'.

NanKate Wed 10-Sep-14 07:19:23

I do feel for you Flower and your DD when trying to get the little man to school. Our GS for some reason took against going to Nursery School. We were designated to take him one day and he sobbed and begged us not to take him. We felt terrible and I was upset for days that we had forced him to go. I can feel the tears now.

However my DinL said he was fine when she picked him up from Nursery and he asked recently 'Aren't I going to Nursery today ?' He is now going to Pre-School and those bad memories have gone. You will all get through it, in the blink of an eye he will be going to Uni. smile