My adopted Mother had never even held a new baby when my DS1 was born, but boy did she interfere, would turn up at 8.00am, spend all day watching everything i did, thought breastfeeding was disgusting, and constantly asked when i was going to dust, hoover, etc, knew everything and everything I have ever done, 42 years on is wrong. I would never ever ask her to help or allow her to do anything, she would broadcast to the world that, 'I was not capable of dusting so SHE had to do it for me'. She just ignored the other 2. When DD had DGS I had just had a total knee replacement, it was winter and I didn't live nearby. I saw DGS in the hospital for 3 days after his birth, no visiting hours here, just what suits the Mum. Then stayed for a few days when he was 3 weeks old, then he came to stay with me for 3 days at 6 weeks. We coped.
He is now 2 1/2, I live in the granny flat and all is great. Most of DDs friends seem to like to feel their feet, so to speak, before they want Mums, Aunties around, a friend had a baby this morning and has asked her Mum not to visit from Germany for at least 3 weeks.