is my DGD a minx or just a normal 2 year old

My DD's two (now aged nearly 14 and nearly 10) have always been biddable and easy children due to DD's consistency. She is a loving Mum but from the word go had discipline and followed it through. The most effective sanction was "no screen time". Worked a treat.

My DS's two (now nearly 13 and just 10) have been much more difficult as their Mum (my DiL) just gives in to their demands and panders to them. They interrupted and were quite rude and attention seeking when younger and were allowed to do and be so.That was whilst their Mum was there! When we had them on our own things were very different and they were much better behaved.

So I think it is important to have ground rules from the start and be consistent in applying them Children feel safer when there are boundaries and it certainly makes life easier for the adults in the family!

It is part of being a terrible 2yr old but it does not mean it should be ignored.
Thowing things at people is not acceptable and she needs to be spoken to to let her know this. Try such language as "it is unkind" or "if it hits someone it will hurt them and make them cry".

It needs to be firm but not threatening and she should apologise. A time out might be appropriate if continues. A sort of rule of thumb for that was a minute for each yr of age.

If she tries to damage toys or books put them away for a day.

When my DS started getting rough with his baby sister I used to put him on the stairs. he did get the message that it was not acceptable.

I think it is more difficult for us as grandparents to tell them off, particularly if their own parents don't.As a grandparent I would only do this if the behaviour is really unacceptable, ie. Throwing veg at strangers, ruining an object, hitting etc.we have an almost three year old DGS and he has tantrums, throws, etc.I think it goes with the territory of being that age, but in the past ( our own children) we didn't let them get away with it.The problem is that you can't laugh at what they do one time, and reprimand another time.Although they are still babies really, they are learning all the time, and as whenIm64 says, when you tell them off and they become upset, you feel like a heel, but it has to be done sometimes.I tell my DC to pick their battles with the little ones, let some go, but others not.

I think they tend to go in bursts of about six months. You start congratulating yourself when you have a co-operative, polite, gentle little grandchild and then suddenly he or she tuns into the ankle biter from hell. Just when you think you're going to hang yourself because you cannot cope any longer, the little angel persona makes an appearance.

At the same time, children have to learn what is acceptable behaviour and what is not – especially when they start pushing boundaries around the age of two and trying their strength and control over family members. I remove toys front the room if they are being misused or threatened with potential damage. I refuse to read another book if the crisp bag, pear core or other rubbish has been thrown on the floor rather than put in the bin. I do not tolerate physical displays of anger and Granna's displeasure is felt by everyone.

It's a process.

I'm sure it's the terrible twos but that doesn't excuse the bad behaviour, only explains it. It is so hard, isn't it, to reprimand our grandchildren at this tender age, but it has to be done. I often think it hurts us more than them!
Being destructive with toys has to be dealt with so that she learns to value things. When my DD was about 3 she deliberately ruined one of her brother's favourite books. She knew it was his favourite, so no excuse there. To punish her, I took her favourite outfit from the wardrobe and ripped it in two in front of her (it was actually at the end of its life, being really too small for her, but she didn't realise this ). To this day she remembers how distraught she was and admits she learned from this lesson.
It's called tough love

Ps I think they all go through it, some are worse than others - DGD2 wasn't too bad as a 2 year old but seems worse as a just 3 year old whereas DGD1 had the red-faced lying on the floor arms and legs thrashing type of 2 year old tantrums. She is delightful now at 6, proud to take her anywhere.
I don't see so much of DGS but what you describe reminds me of him at 2! He is lovely now at 7.

My own, of course were perfect. [ blush]

GS3, as a terrible 2, just laughed at the naughty step. He has continued to be mischievous and sometimes cheeky but is now a fairly rational 7-year-old who still relishes the opportunity to get his big brother into trouble.

It sounds like the terrible twos but you have to be firm and not laugh.
Throwing herself off the sofa isn't naughty, just getting rid of energy - does she get plenty of playtime outside?

DS is quite firm and when DGD2 was naughty one word from him would have her saying 'Naughty step, Daddy?' and she would plonk herself on it.
She is 3 now and removal of toys seems to work better now.

Only 5 years vq? You got away lightly!
DH reckons 'the tunnel' lasts for 10 years!

Sounds pretty average to me. They can do some of these unwanted behaviours at a slightly earlier age and get a few laughs from doting parents and grandparents, which gives them the green light to try and get more attention. She'll grow out if it. It's just as easy to be stern and find yourself faced with a two year old on the verge of tears because she's been reprimanded. I told my little grandaughter not to stick her tongue out at me (it was becoming an unwanted habit) and her chin started wobbling. Felt like such a heel afterwards.

It's the terrible twos but that's not excuse so there have to be consequences to her behaviour so she learns that it's not acceptable.

The upside is that the terrible twos only last a year or so then it's relative peace and quiet until she's around 13 when one night a little princess goes to bed and Godzilla stomps down the stairs the following morning. But, hey, that only lasts for around 5 years

It does sound like the terrible twos - but when any of our dgc tried anything we wouldn't allow 'the terrible twos' to be an excuse, although it may be a reason.
Any misbehaviour meant the step, and they all knew it. Bottom stair or the back door step. And they had to do their time, tears and howls prevailed but in the end they had to say sorry. Saying sorry meant hugs followed.

Do the parents of your dgd use a fair manner of discipline, in as much as is possible with a two year old.
Action = consequence.

For instance what was the consequence of throwing the turnip at a stranger, kicking the passenger seat, or deliberately destroying a toy.

In saying all of the above, ours tried it on time and again, and still would, but eventually the step and the removal of benefits such as ipad, night time toy, no bike, no bedtime story, no cartoons etc. brought decent behaviour and we can take them just about anywhere. Now aged 4.5 and 7.5.
Mind you, yesterday one was on the bottom step of the stairs and the other was on the back door step, at the same time !!

And of course you love her unconditionally - she is the star that shines in your heart