Hello, I've lurked on here for a while looking for some advice but no one has posted anything similar to my situation.
I hope its ok for me to post here- I'm not a Gran!
But I am a DIL, and I really need some advice on how to deal with my DMIL.
A bit of background- she has two sons, and I am married to her eldest. We are expecting our first child later this year (also her first GC). From the word go she didn't seem to like me, but I really liked her and wanted to get on with her. I felt like I could 'prove myself' to her over the years and always tried to be helpful and polite to her.
I didn't want her left out of the 'daughter' aspects of life- so I was keen to include her in wedding dress shopping when we got married, and now the baby etc. But she spoils it by bullying me and talking to me in a controlling and manipulative way, then she sends very long texts and emails to my DH ranting and raving about things I've done 'wrong', she tries to get her son on her side but he doesn't take it and they often get into arguments. He told me that growing up she was a very over bearing mother.
In her messages she says she was unhappy when DH stared to move away from her, she was unhappy about the way we had our wedding (she wore black and spent some of it crying in the toilets), now she is not happy about us not wanting to kit out a nursery for our baby- and its my fault.
I just feel that she doesn't trust me and is bitter about her son moving out, getting married and now having his own family. I feel she had expectations of how her DIL would be and I don't measure up. I can understand its hard for her but I really do include her in everything as I do my own mother. How can I make her believe that I'm not taking her son away from her and that I could be a friend to her- not an enemy she needs to be suspicious of?
Goodness me this is rather long! Thanks to those who got to the end! I just want to be able to enjoy our baby as a family that includes MIL.
frazzleddil Fri 17-Jul-15 17:20:27
ninathenana Fri 17-Jul-15 17:41:32
Stansgran Fri 17-Jul-15 17:41:44
elena Fri 17-Jul-15 17:46:17
vampirequeen Fri 17-Jul-15 17:50:14
ffinnochio Fri 17-Jul-15 17:51:15
soontobe Fri 17-Jul-15 18:01:29
J52 Fri 17-Jul-15 18:01:56
harrigran Fri 17-Jul-15 18:19:57
Coolgran65 Fri 17-Jul-15 20:48:45
Luckygirl Fri 17-Jul-15 20:53:35
glassortwo Fri 17-Jul-15 21:08:00
NfkDumpling Fri 17-Jul-15 23:34:13
Eloethan Fri 17-Jul-15 23:49:07
Leticia Sat 18-Jul-15 07:25:59
suzied Sat 18-Jul-15 07:48:00
glammanana Sat 18-Jul-15 09:40:02
soontobe Sat 18-Jul-15 09:57:31
KatyK Sat 18-Jul-15 11:34:05
frazzleddil Sat 18-Jul-15 13:54:28
soontobe Sat 18-Jul-15 13:59:38
Luckygirl Sat 18-Jul-15 14:17:47
Leticia Sat 18-Jul-15 14:46:38
NfkDumpling Sat 18-Jul-15 16:43:01
Anya Sat 18-Jul-15 16:59:41