My 12-yr-old DGD thinks she's ugly

I agree with the sentiments about beauty only being skin deep.

I think everyone has an 'age' that suits them. To be good looking in youth can not necessarily equate to being good looking as an older person.

However, this does not help the OP! I feel for your GD, I'm sure you will instinctively handle it with love.

x

I was a tubby rather shy teenager, but my self esteem was never in question because our parents always made it clear that they were proud of us, though my mum thought I'd never 'get a man' if I showed them I was clever. However, in my 20s, I became slimmer and looked after my appearance, wore nice clothes - and had plenty of boyfriends, making up for lost time!

Being pretty doesn't stop you being bullied at school by other girls, though [not talking about me, by the way, but people I've known]. Bit of a no win situation all round, really. Strange thing is that men [or teenage boys] seem to have a different idea of which girls/women are attractive anyway. I always maintain that girls and women dress for other women.

She needs to be centred on herself. She is her own person. And important.
Just because her sister is high achieving, has no bearing on how their lives may pan out.
Being pretty is no guarantee of much at all.

I was an ugly duckling (never made it to a swan - just a farmyard duck), then I discovered horses. They accept you, love being made a fuss of and when you're riding you're above everyone and queen of all you survey.

(And yes, as has been pointed out, it is possible to hurt yourself. But this applies to every activity and riding school ponies are people friendly)

nearly 20 years ago I was involved with a production of The Lion In Winter which had a sixth former cast as the young princess. She had a lovely face but her timekeeping was appalling and she never did more than she absolutely had to. Her answer to everything was "My face will be my fortune!" I can only say than in the ensuing years I have never seen any sign of her!