So confused and Angry

Please can someone write a DNR notice at the head of this thread's bed?
It never warranted the NINE pages of posts which it "inspired" mostly going round in circles as good advice was ignored and more pleas for sympathy came winging in from all sides.
Not getting at you Jud, of course you want to put the record straight, but there have been other posts which looked decidedly inflammatory and it is all a bit wearisome.

Erm apparently I have been involved in this thread !! Really*Jane10*? Or was that a little slip of autocorrect? I have just picked up the thread as I have been away for a while and was surprised to see I was supposed to be having problems with PiLs. No, they have been dead for over 15 years

Nor have I been acting as a mediator...

In fact I am not involved in this thread at all, but for what it is worth, as a MIL 4 times over I would never impose myself on my family unless I had cleared it with them first. I am the daughter of a teacher and was one myself in adult education and know how busy teachers' lives are during term time. I feel it is unreasonable for these PILs to impose at that particular time. If they have already been told that this doesn't suit, I would suggest OP and her DH just show how really busy they are by NOT changing their routine. The PILs if they have any empathy at all should help out, not demand to be looked after.

When I had to I used to use what I think is 'reverse psychology' on my MIL. In your situation I'd say 'Oh, it'll be great to have you here during term time - we'll save a fortune in child care, and it'll be lovely for baby to really get to know you both properly'. I'd lay on a bit thick about how busy we are during holidays with things like visits to Santa, Pantomimes etc (when appropriate) I'm sure you can think of lots of things to do in the other hols too. In the barbeque situation I'd've said how lovely it would be for DH and I to have an evening with someone else there to look after baby. My MIL was always terrified of being left alone with my two (come to that, so was I occasionally)
Best of luck, anyway.

Just take charge L66. Give them the dates of a week when you are available. Or even several options. Be clear. If they are unable to make it, then so it is, and just get on with your life. I suspect they will soon get the message and decide to fit in with your plans and arrangements. Good luck!

Why would the other side try to wind us up? Everything this person has said sounds authentic. My thinking is that more is being read into it than is actually there. I suppose people will read into it what they want to see. Fair enough horses for courses.

Its beginning to feel like you have it in for this poster

I think some people (not just one or two) have been querying the veracity of the OP and whether or not it is a wind-up from 'the other side' Jane10

Jane no of course it isn't. It is based upon analyses of what she says and life experience. Is what you are saying to me personal? I note you didn't answer my question.

Is this personal nonnie? Its beginning to feel like you have it in for this poster. She's let off steam, been given sage advice from experienced Grans, surely there's no need for this nitpicking approach? I hope the OP has gone away with the answers she needed and good luck to her.

But the OP said 8-5?

Just found this on the internet, so have answered my own question!

Spanish school hours depend on each type of school. Some may run from 9 am through 5 pm with a two hour lunch break. Other schools may begin at 9 and end at 2 pm, the typical lunch time in Spain. Some schools may have only a one hour lunch break and may or may not provide a cafeteria for children to eat at the school.

9-5 does seem a very long school day, tiggypiro, not that I doubt you! Do they have a long break at lunchtime?

Help, it was me! I looked on the internet, I think the school hours vary a lot.

The school day at secondary schools is normally longer than at primary schools, running from 08:30-15:00 or 09:00-15:00, but as with primary schools times may vary greatly from place to place.

tiggy I thought that because I read the thread and someone stated it as a fact. I know nothing about Spanish schools so deferred to someone who seemed to.

You could always "treat" them to a holiday home nearby. That way you could visit them on your own terms. I do sympathise as I get manipulated by my MIL and fall over backwards for my DIL. My fault. I should be more assertive but we are all victims of our upbringings.

I'm not sure why you think Spanish schools finish very early Nonnie. My GS's in Spain start at 9am and finish at 5pm and that is a local school not a private one.

I am lurking here in the bushes rosequartz
I did notice you, lefthanded and gave a surreptitious wave (is that spelt correctly - I should ask DD or her friends who teach English as a foreign language in Spain - yes, really!!)
I am sure they would be rofl or throwing up their hands in horror at some of littlepig's posts. Of course, I think that if one is typing in haste one could be forgiven the odd error. Perhaps the baby needed attention.

It is horrid having someone you do not like and who bullies you in your own home. I know - I had to have my FIL here for months when he messed up on his housing (too complicated to explain). I had to find him somewhere else to live and present him with a fait a complit, or he would have stayed for the rest of our lives! I hated it all.

I have read some, but not all of the comments on this thread, 8 pages of advice, poor woman you must be confused! But just thought I'd add my thoughts; can you not just tell your in-laws you are no longer prepared to put up with their aggression (even if it is passive aggression) and that if they are visiting your house then they abide by your rules. If they want to eat when you are out then they feed themselves, and clear up after themselves! Your husband should support you in this, if he is a mummy's boy then it's time he realised that his main loyalty is now with his wife and child who rely on him. If he's not a mummy's boy and is considered to be a reasonable man then is it possible that you have blown things up in your mind? And that the in-laws are not quite as bad as you portray them? Either way it's time to talk to your in-laws telling them exactly how you feel. Good Luck!

Alea sorry I was responding to Luckygirls post of Tue 20-Oct-15 18:38:34. Misunderstanding, not yours. Should have made that clear.

I did say perhaps, Nonnie, #beingcharitable

A whole week and she will be out from before 8 am until after 5 pm (even though Spanish schools finish hours before that) so what is all the fuss about? Hmmmmm

I can't see what possible justification there was for that deletion. I wonder if OP was getting hot under the collar because she felt we were sceptical?
The initial rant was perhaps understandable (as in "Oh God, not the in-laws for a whole week") but the ramifications, convolutions extra layers of back story and apparent indifference to lots of practical suggestions sounded like someone who wanted to keep the thread going lost past its sell-by. When you get a load of people you have never heard of before joining in the MIL bashing, well, I know what I think and there will be those who agree and those who don't.

The dissenters appear to be in the minority. 19.02 post from yesterday has been deleted. Poster had pointed out, quite rightly I thought, that the OP, if indeed she were a teacher, used very poor sentence construction. If she teaches small children her Spanish would be perfect, or as near as, and one would expect, therefore, her mother tongue to be ... well, better expressed than it has been. I think, too, that this is a wind up, which is sad because so many of us took the trouble to give her sensible advice, according to our own thoughts. Why do people do this ( if what a few of us think is what has happened here ?). Excuse my own disjointed and badly constructed mutterings, but I've only just woken up after a mainly sleepless night.

I am lurking here in the bushes rosequartz and I did notice the Hello ladies, I just felt that it was too soon after the last argument discussion to point it out.

I have kept quiet on this thread for two reasons:
1, I didn't feel that I had anything useful to contribute and
2, I too felt that there was something more to this than we were seeing on the surface.

I think it's a pity that the site does not show a count of messages posted alongside each users name - that would immediately identify newcomers which in turn would help to identify the "wind-ups".

Alea......We're of the same suspicious mind .
I read this as a wind up too...and possibly from 'the other place'....?