To you! Flippin' iPhone!
Son’s girlfriend diagnosed with BPD
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SubscribeI know I am awful but am absulutely dreading Christmas, been asked to stay with long standing friends, there will be at least 15. I have lived alone for over 20 years and have worked most Christmasses. I just get so wound up in any large gatherings, family or otherwise! I can't have a drink as am a recovering alcoholic (30 years) not only that but my dental plate still hurts after numerous visits!
I read all the happy positive posts and wish I could feel like that
Watching all the terrible plight of others home and abroad puts lid on
I am not ungrateful, truly. At work I was the 'life and soul' now I am Mrs Bah Humbug grade one
Aplologies but I can't tell anyone else!!
You all have a good time and hugs to those that will be sad. I am not sad, just nothing much.
And yes, am on medication ?
To you! Flippin' iPhone!
So pleased it all went well grannylynn. These things are rarely as we imagine or fear they will be. Happy New Year to to
Good news grannylyn I'm very glad for you and Happy New Year.
I am with you Grannylynn65 . I get so stressed out when having to socialise . I used to be so different but a bad marriage with a husband who saw social occasions as an excuse to get drunk and verbally aggressive sucked all my confidence .
Good on you for quitting the drink btw ! If you really don`t want to go maybe a little white lie (flu) would enable you to opt out and do what you want .
So good that you could vent your feelings here, get varied feedback, and decide what to do, knowing people were thinking about your dilemma. Glad you enjoyed Christmas with your friends!
I second phoenix.
So glad that it went well, grannylyn really pleased for you!
Well, you were right,!everybody made me feel so welcome and it was great, their oldest son gave up his bedroom so I could have some 'space'
It was nice being part of a happy family ( for a change') that last line would have a line through it if I knew how !!!!
It would have to be a bloody big house for me to share it with 15 people !!!
Freinds and family, doesn't matter, tooooo many.
Perhaps hang on till the last minute before cancelling, good friends will understand and you might have a change of heart.
Otherwise do your own thing, again good friends know you well enough and love you no matter what.
You must have great strength for not having had a drink for 30 years, that is seriously brilliant.
Discomfort in your mouth is horrible, hope you've got it sorted.
I love your sense of humour, you must be great company.
Best wishes whatever you decide grannylyn65
I agree with Alea maybe diplomatic flu is the answer it's a little white lie and sometimes we need to please ourselves rather than others hope you sort your dental pain out .
Charleygirl I'm coming round to yours next year! I'll be on my own then too, well, I think, unless my knight turns up sometime next year, lol.
grannylyn You do exactly what you want. Could you not have a "get out clause" just in case you feel the need to leave early? At least then you will have been and made an effort? Take a good book and disappear for some "you" time if things get too much while there.
It is just a few days, pick some non Christmas tele or radio if you don't want to have it rammed down your throat, or go out and have a long walk in the woods or parks. Borrow someone's dog (who is baffled by what is going on) and spend time excercising it, the family will thank you if they have kids and are finding it hard to get out with Fido.
Comments have made me feel so much better and kaye made me laugh to myself!
You are ????
Lots of love to you grannylyn65! There are a lot of us who find this time of year stressful to say the least, and I have also felt like other posters on here who find large gatherings daunting. I found that when I stopped thinking about ME and tried to think about making the occasion enjoyable for the others it helped. After all the party is MADE by the guests. Also - guess what? you are WANTED! You could well be the life and soul of the party but just aren't aware of it at the minute. You have been given an amazing gift - sobriety! If you can - go and share your second chance at life with those who care enough to invite you, and come away again grateful you are loved enough to be asked and counting all the good things in your life. Happy Christmas! xx
Oh dear - it's a bit late to opt out now. Perhaps some of the tips on here will help with the plate? Hope so.
Otherwise I can see no option but to grin (if the plate doesn't slip) and bear it. Your response post is quite humerous so perhaps you can just sit and observe the oddities of people who've had too much to drink or, who knows, you might find a kindred spirit.
I often find the events I really don't want to go to turn out to be some of the best in the end. Possibly because I'd no expectations of enjoyment.
Well done on the 30 years without a drink - that's an amazing achievement. Hats off to you X
If they don't live too far away couldn't you say to them that you can only come for Xmas lunch ?
Perhaps I am fortunate not having any family so I can do exactly what I want. I am not a fan of Christmas but I have bought a few treats and I will enjoy myself.
I find Bonjella helps the denture pain , there is one for over 16 s . Can't help with the crowd bit , I get in the kitchen and do dishes , escape out with the rubbish or occupy the loo
I understand completely how you feel. Christmas doesn't fill me with cheer, it fills me with dread. I have just had a bit of a collapse with it all. I have been babysitting for eleven hour stints for the past week, then food shopping one evening. My back gave out and yesterday I slept all day. Have slept again until 11 am today and told my daughter I can't babysit tonight but will do it tomorrow. My body just gave out with exhaustion. (Daughter and son in law work shifts and there is no one else to babysit)
Just last night there was a reindeer visiting pensioners in old folks homes and the thought of one day ending up in care with a load of xmas heads would be enough to finish me off . My loathing of social occasions is to far embedded in my psyche to change at this time of life but every year i have to organise a big family xmas, its for them not for me and i just grin and get on with it , while my head is screaming ...run
grannylynn you're not awful and you aren't the only one. Much as I love my family I still find Christmas Day a bit of a trial. One of the things I do to get through it is to promise myself a Boxing Day doing just what I want. I refuse all invitations, make sure visiting family have duty visits to do and read the book I really wanted. I eat left overs and chocolates. Promise yourself something good if you do the Christmas thing and you will get through it.
grannylyn My solution to the dental plate pain after several visits was to find out for myself exactly where the points were that pressed into my gums and take a bit of sandpaper to them. I was far more accurate than the dentist at sanding down the right place - I was the one with the pain!
I often feel like you grannylyn65. I find large gatherings quite daunting although I appear very confident to strangers.
I'm spending Christmas day alone from choice this year, I enjoy my own company and hardly ever get bored.
It takes all sorts. Just be yourself and do what you want to do.
I hope you are on the right medication Grannylyn65. Something like fluoxetine could be quite helpful here. Really. Bit late now though.
I think once you are there you will get caught up in the swing of things, and will find yourself enjoying it. Your 'Mrs Bah Humbug' will go out the window and your life and soul of the party will return. It's still in there. You'll see.
And, by the way, none of us are positive about Christmas all the time.
Have a good one.
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