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Help urgently needed

(64 Posts)
Granarchist Mon 04-Jan-16 14:12:06

Wedding approaching early April. Youngest DD's. I need an outfit that will not disgrace her. I am 5'4" - at least 2 stone overweight and hate - truly hate shopping (I tend to cry). As I have said before, I don't want 'mother of the bride' tattooed on my forehead but do have to match up to elegant, tall mother of the groom. Must have sleeves - at least enough to cover bingo wings. There will be dancing. I have looked at Coast online but nothing sings to me. Cant wear high heels due to knee replacement and arthritic feet - gosh I sound attractive. I want to be comfortable in all senses of the word and to do the children proud.

Granarchist Tue 05-Jan-16 18:01:42

helmacd - I am not a million miles from Bourne End - oh wow some of those dresses look amazing - I may have to be brave - I cannot thank everyone enough - I must man up. (and melt c card - or what's left of it after DD choice of dress) - she was going to borrow a dress but then her sisters took her to a heavenly shop and now ............ but she is offering to repay me and I know she will when she can.

JanT8 Tue 05-Jan-16 16:16:01

When my son got married I went to PhaseEight, bought a lovely floaty skirt with a toning shaped jacket and a cami underneath. In the evening I discarded the jacket for a 3/4 sleeve shrug, sequin trimmed which matched the cami. Change of shoes and, job done, a different outfit.
When my daughter re-married last year we took my 14 year old grand-daughter, who lives in jeans and shorts, to an appointment with a personal shopper at Debenhams. I'd never had experience of this before but thought it was a wonderful idea and I would definitely use this myself if another 'posh do' comes along.

Christingle Tue 05-Jan-16 14:15:00

Don't go frumpy! You can get some gorgeous clothes that will suit your shape. Trying on is the only way to know if it makes you feel comfortable and confident. Try Joseph or Jeager for classic cut and sophistication. A lovely maxi dress perhaps with a bolero jacket or cashmere wrap with some very pretty low heels. You can always change footware after photos ready for a night dancing. Enjoy the day and I am sure you will look fabulous.

inishowen Tue 05-Jan-16 13:10:35

Jacques Vert is excellent. I got my outfit from their range. I too am a couple of stone overweight and I'm 5'3". My outfit was a navy, floaty two piece. The top covered the waist which was elasticated but you'd never have known. I topped it off with a pale blue jacket with navy piping. Navy shoes and bag. The staff in the better shops are great at giving advice, so don't be afraid to ask.

grandmac Tue 05-Jan-16 13:07:03

Don't know where you are granarchist but for 2 of my children's weddings I went to Mary's of Enfield, which is actually in Hoddesdon, Hertfordshire. They do a wonderful selection of Mother of the Bride outfits, including Capri which has lovely floaty chiffon dresses and jackets in gorgeous colours. They also do hats/fascinators and shoes/bags to match any of the outfits, and will do any alterations necessary too. Good luck and enjoy the wedding.

Carolynswalsh Tue 05-Jan-16 12:13:16

You sound very similar to me.If I have something to dress up for I always have a look at a Chesca,I know they have outlets in John Lewis and other stores.They sorted me out for my daughters wedding,lovely fluid dress with small sleeve and jacket for our unpredictable summer!Good luck.

Granny23 Tue 05-Jan-16 12:03:31

I've been brave and posted a picture of myself (+DD & DH) at DD2's wedding. I am also short 5'2"and plump, but fell in love with this dress seeing it on-line and even more when I saw it in reality. The beauty of the full skirt style is that all you need is an undergarment to flatten your front between bust and waist and fat tummy and thighs are hidden. The little 'jacket' was actually a blouse which made it light enough to wear all day even for dancing so bingo wings were not visible.

I loved my full skirted dresses as a teenager and felt this outfit was much more 'me' than all the fitted, draped MOTB dresses that I was shown.

constance Tue 05-Jan-16 11:53:46

I hate shopping, and I am overidealweight and hate high heels too. I bought my Mother of the Bride outfit for Firstborn's wedding about 36 hours beforehand in Debenhams - I found a light coloured skirt/suit and top, and clarke's summery sandals (though they weren't totally comfortable they weren't high)
If I hadn't found it I would def have gone for the personal shopper in debenhams. I would also say start with a good bra and work outwards
;)

Since That Wedding I have discovered Hobbs dresses which are delightful and some of their roomy size 18s will accomodate an H cup bra. They may have summer jackets too.

I would also say to stop worrying too much about your arms and get some nice lippy for the photos, that't the thing I forgot. I did go to the hairdressers on the day so I looked presentable up top though.

helmacd Tue 05-Jan-16 11:49:18

Completely empathise. Don't know where you live - the following is a link to a shop in Bourne End near Maidenhead, Berkshire - though Bourne End might be in Bucks!
www.no25ofbourneend.co.uk/
Several of my friends have bought stunning mother of the bride outfits there- not cheap admittedly. Even if nowhere near you it might help to look at the styles.

Granarchist Tue 05-Jan-16 10:51:10

marpau - can I do Zumba with a knee replacement do you think? Jinglbells frocks - my DD was a rower (and husband too) - also it was my one and only visit to Debenhams!!! Promise! Sadly no Fenwicks within 100 miles. Indinana and Anya - that is sounding a good plan - not sure about the tuna and pasta thing as OH expects to eat at 8.30pm - which is a nightmare - he never gets back any earlier and thinks I am anti social if I eat by myself at a more sensible hour. I am going to trawl all the suggested websites and then have a crack at the personal shopper route - DD is suggesting she comes with me and 'brings a friend', that will definitely result in tears. (mine).

Roxannediane Tue 05-Jan-16 10:31:08

Try an Ann Balon outfit - look online and also in some good stores - I was MOTB in August and have the same complaints as you!!! Hotter sell a lovely comfortable shoe called Jewel. Have a lovely wedding x

AliBeeee Tue 05-Jan-16 10:18:18

I used the John Lewis personal shopper for the first time last summer (it's free) and she was excellent, I will certainly use it again if I ever have the need.
Shoes - I can't wear heels either, but for my son's wedding last June I wore wedges; they are much easier to wear and gave me some height (my son and ex-H are both 6'6" and I still look tiny in the photos (and I'm 5'6"!). They were Gabor wide fitting sandals, but they looked great, were much admired and felt comfortable all day.
Don't stress trying to lose weight. Enjoy the build up to the event and most of all - the wedding!

NanSue Tue 05-Jan-16 10:08:50

House of Fraser have at least 50% off top designer labels at the moment. Mother of the bride shopping is an absolute nightmare if you're not the perfect shape. I know the feeling only too well being under 5ft and overweight. Good luck!

J13 Tue 05-Jan-16 10:07:21

Can't beat John Charles. I have bought outfits for three recent Mother of Bride/Groom from eBay recently. People only wear them once.

Nana3 Tue 05-Jan-16 10:03:46

There are some lovely things in the sales at House of Fraser, John Lewis and Debenhams.
I buy on line as there is more choice and returns are easy at a post office, and I know what suits me. That's the key I think. Good luck.

JennyB Tue 05-Jan-16 09:54:50

Hi Granarchist have a look at www.terrymacey.com they do lovely stuff, they do sales around the country but you can go to them and their designs complement our good points. Happy clothes shopping and don't be persuaded into buying something you don't like, take camera photos and tell salespeople you will then decide at home, unless you fall in love with something that is.

Shrimp Tue 05-Jan-16 09:52:35

Following this thread with interest as I have my DS' wedding in August and have similar problems, except I am even shorter and have huge bust to hip ratio, with emphasis on bust blush.
Found a reasonable dress and jacket in Précis Petite, although I need to find the correct size to try on (being so 'out of proportion' I can never tell whether something will fit or not!).

Nvella Tue 05-Jan-16 09:48:53

I used John Lewis's personal shopper for my son's wedding. There were at least 5 outfits she brought out which I thought would never do and they were all brilliant. They are so clever and know their stock so well.

adaunas Tue 05-Jan-16 09:47:41

Im the same height and I feel for you, having been the widest of all the parents at my daughter's wedding. I took a friend to help me look and felt wonderful on the day. There are some great suggestions on here. Takingshape.com
have some lovely outfits. Might be worth a look

Anya Tue 05-Jan-16 09:08:45

Actually I wasn't thinking of anything that might billow!

Anya Tue 05-Jan-16 09:07:42

If we allowed for the vagaries of the British weather we'd have a nervous breakdown!

Tresco Mon 04-Jan-16 23:09:14

A word of warning about floaty outfits. They can be a bit of a disaster if the weather is breezy. Seeing a Mother of the Bride trying to fight her way out of a mass of billowing peach chiffon is a sight I'll never forget!

Indinana Mon 04-Jan-16 22:50:54

I love the sound of the outfit Anya describes - the long floaty dress and matching long floaty jacket. It sounds perfect to me! Much better than trousers, which I think can be very unforgiving around the tummy area, even when teamed with a longline top.

Greenockgran Mon 04-Jan-16 22:37:15

i use the tuna and pasta diet. Do not eat at all until 4pm and then load your plate with tagliatelli tuna and cottage cheese. it really works because you will not feel hungry until late on in the next day.
(i used it for the 7 years of my internet dating). You will achieve your goal by April. Xx

jinglbellsfrocks Mon 04-Jan-16 20:47:35

And you shop at Debenhams?!