I don't see how you can plan what will happen when baby comes. My ED was very happy to be put down in her pram or carrycot for a sleep, fully breastfed but wanted her own settling time. My DS, on the other hand, was a velcro baby and wouldn't put me down at all, slept with me til he was 4 years old and was both breast and supplementary bottle fed. I also suffered post natal depression with him so to have it carved in stone how things were going to go wouldn't have been practical as I had pulmonary oedema when he was a few days old and was blue lighted back into hospital. Some help would have been useful as my ED had to come with us at a very worrying time at 9 years old.
In respect of their dad, my ex husband having a full month off to "bond" with us both, well, no. One week was plenty and then I was ready for him to go back and let me get on with it, even when I had come back out after the blue light incident. And I am sure it was fine by him too.
I can't get my head around a 4th trimester, it doesn't make sense. The world has gone mad. It's not enough of sharing the love, free and easy, it's too regimented for me now, I'm glad my baby making days are over. I don't think you should ban anyone from coming to see you, you should be glad that people are wanting to share in your joy. Just have a buzz word to indicate between you that you are tired and have had enough and then hint to visitors that it's time they went. (Give them the baby and tell them you are going upstairs to make baby number 2!) Mainly people are just happy to have seen baby, have a cup of tea and biscuit, a cuddle, hug both parents and then on their way.
It is only manners after the initial welcoming to see if they are up for visitors and not in bed, half naked with breastfeeding, out on errands, etc. Just a quick call to say if it is ok to call for half an hour for a cuddle would be ok, as long as it is only half an hour and then the new parents would welcome you again if they know they are not going to have to entertain or prompt you to leave to get a bit of peace. Give and take on both sides, that's what is needed although some of today's youngsters don't seem to understand this concept and want it all their own way, in whatever they are doing. Perhaps as parents ourselves we have indulged them too much as our own children and now they expect to get all their own way still as adults? If this is the case, how is little Bertie going to turn out when he gets indulged with e tablets at 3 years old and extravagant parties etc. It all remains to be seen. My DS says he is not having any children as he doesn't want to bring any into the world we now live in.