teenage DGD probs

All very sound advice and proof that this site is full of caring thoughtful people.
? for GN

Sadly I think this is behaviour within the 'normal' range for her age group. Agree with other comments, try not to make too much of the eating but keep a watchful eye, if needed there is advice out there for you and lots of support. Many senior schools have a welfare provision now, a counsellor or a nurse who can support and is used to the over focus teenage girls, boys as well come to that, have on body image and food. I imagine you are extra concerned because of your past experiences. Teenage girls are very hurtful of each other about appearance and yes, it can trigger an eating disorder, but it doesn't always and this may just pass by. Please don't let her get into the habit of thinking she can say anything to you and you won't react, as Luckygirl has said, serious rudeness just shouldn't be tolerated but the odd comment and accompanied eye rolling (if she does that) is better ignored. It is hard work and she is so lucky you have been there to care for her. I'm sure she won't forget the fun and the love she had had, teenage years are so momentous, the hormones have a lot to answer for. I do hope the future is good for you all and send and also - it sounds as if you need them right now, with perhaps some as well.

Well it sounds as if she has been a very lucky girl to have had your love and devotion for so many years and to be doing so well. Pat on the back for you.

I would say that it is important not to draw attention to her eating habits unless the spectre of anorexia is unavoidable. I am sure you know more about that from your personal experience. If she is eating a normal quantity of healthy food then that is good. Personally I think 2 hours a day (is it every day?) in the gym is too much, but it may be what young people do now. It can be addictive and take over their lives to the detriment of other activities - one to be tactfully watched I think, but not commented on.

I had 3 girls and they do get to a point where they think Mum (or whoever is in charge) is a bit of a bore and an embarrassment, so please don't take the criticisms to heart too much. They all had brief stroppy phases. And as for my own stroppy phase - the less said the better!!

When my DDs were being a bit stroppy there were usually two things that were behind it: one was a boy whom they fancied who did not reciprocate their ardour; the other was bitchiness (or a sort of sub-liminal bullying) from other girls - sadly it did seem to be rife at about the age of 15.

It is also a very difficult time for them, especially now, when the demands of their peers to be sexually active or aware, and the prevalence of texted porn are pushing them in directions that they are scared of, but cannot admit this.

It may of course be that there has been some comment about the fact that you are an older "Mum." Teenage girls can be so cruel.

Just be there for her and take the insults on the chin! - but serious rudeness should not be tolerated.

Good luck!

Thanks Trisher, very re-assuring, just what I needed

I've no experience of teenage girls Madmartha apart from being one once. I do remember I was very stroppy and disagreed with anything that was said to me! It sounds as if you have given you DGD a great home and loving support, maybe she is just testing things. I hope things go well for all of you. I believe there is more support now for anyone with an eating disorder so hopefully even if this is the case you will mange better than in the 90s. Good luck