Children at weddings, Yes or No?

PC playing up - sorry, wrong thread

Having been in finance, DH always checks the bill. He usually asks for the "obligatory" tip to be removed, but always leaves a generous tip in cash. When things have been left off, he points it out. If the recipient is rude and never makes mistakes, he doesn't pay - their problem then. BTW I do go out without DH occasionally, but usually for lunch!

Personally, I would say yes, but I think it depends on the bride [not BrideZilla!] and groom.
If they go for the most expensive venue and show-offy wedding, then perhaps no children would be acceptable [just]. Otherwise make it as child friendly as possible and the more the merrier IMHO
When DD got married she invited several children [and her parents] who behave impeccably and had a terrific time. Again, I have seen some dreadful behaviour from horribly spoiled children which did nothing to improve the ceremony or breakfast!

Haven't read all the replies but I'm wary of children at weddings. Not all of them behave, esp depending on the hour. And unless there is a hired nanny, good luck getting whoever is watching baby to leave the ceremony/reception if baby is crying! I can see making exceptions for a flower girl or close relatives of the bride and groom. But a gaggle of kids? Not unless you're willing to pay for a playroom and someone to watch them.

Mostly, I think it's up to the bride and groom. But it's also up to parents if they choose to decline rather than find a babysitter. No one should take either decision personally, IMO, and there needn't be any rifts over it (I know there are).

My niece married recently and they didn't allow any children. In their letter they said that parents would enjoy a weekend away better without having to leave early to put children to bed. Most of their friends have small children and I think really they just didn't want so many babies and toddlers there. There's a very small number of children in the family - my 2 grandchildren and 3 great nephews of my brother's wife, I think these could have been invited. My granddaughters were upset as they adore weddings and are older so would stay up past my bedtime and would certainly behave.

I'd like to have children at weddings now but in the 70s when I got married I saw it as a very grown up affair. I had no children.
Soon after, when I had a baby and was invited to a "No Children" wedding of a good friend, I went to the church only, and my tiny baby waited in the car with her daddy.
I didn't feel bad about this and the baby and my husband came to see the happy couple leave the church. I didn't feel bad about it and neither did he. We both understood.
It's THEIR wedding and should be their choice.

Maybe the Bride and Groom had a bad experience with misbehaving children at a wedding in the past, let's face it some children can be little terrors, I recently attended my Grandsons wedding and children were invited and behaved beautifully, granted they weren't many of them.
Many years ago I attended a family wedding and my children were not invited but I accepted that as it was their day but I was lucky as I had good babysitters.

Children from the families involved should be invited. They will remember the event all of their lives and it will make them feel part of the family. Friends' children are different and should be considered on a case by case basis as the cost of catering for them is prohibitive. But they look lovely in the pictures and add life and a sense of the future to what is, after all, an important occasion and milestone.

Every wedding is so different isn't it? Some people have huge families where inviting all the children would double the numbers. Some people work on very small budgets and have to limit the number of guests and some venues aren't very child friendly.

I know my DD loves being invited to a 'no children' wedding because it means she can leave her children with us and enjoy a relaxing time at the wedding and stay as long as she likes. I have been to weddings where badly behaved children have really spoilt the occasion and to weddings where they have added to it.

It's the privilege of each bride and groom to arrange the wedding of their dreams and, IMO, it's dreadful for other people to fall out with them over their choices.

It's the couple's day, & entirely up to them who they invite. That may have consequences with people not being able/refusing to attend though.

DD is getting married later this year - at the Zoo! Great venue for all the children in the family.

Actually just recalled that after the supervised afternoon creche /playtent DD also had a babysitter available and parents could put kiddies to bed (travel cots) at her MiLs house which was in the grounds of the school where wedding taking place. Kids did not have to be in play area or go to bed..just an option for the parents.

IT is, of course, the decision of the happy couple. But we LOVE to see children at weddings-isn't that exactly want marriage is about after all?
But parents need to be sensitive and as others have said take them out if they're noisy during the ceremony.
We've been to many weddings in France , such lovely family affairs. Children are a complete part of it, beds/cots available somewhere if needed. They usually go on until the early hours too.
I recall at my French goddaughter's wedding, at the critical moment of the vows, I was "given" a toddler who hardly knew me and I spent the time whispering to her in French and English to keep her entertained while pointing out what was going on and who was there (that I knew she knew) she wriggled but was brilliant and the first moment I could I put her down and we both wandered round. Happy memories

Great photo *NanaandGrampy! Lovely idea and memories for the little ones.

I say yes, and have never yet been to a wedding where they weren't welcome.

Our DD2 got married at Disney in Florida with only 25 people attending. Every little one ( all girls) was a different Disney Princess and were her bridesmaids. It was a really smashing day .

When we got married in 1970 we specified No Children because one of DH's cousins had 3 particularly obnoxious children and it seemed tactful to just have a blanket ban. On the day of the wedding his cousin turned up with her brood saying "I know you said no children but I knew you didn't mean ours" !!!

When my nephew and his then partner got married, their little daughter, then 15 months old, toddled forward while they were taking their vows and sat quietly at their feet. There were a number of other children present, but none quite so cute.

judthepud2 . Lovely!

Some of the family kids at DSs wedding.

Personally if it came down to the cost I'd dump the friends and stick to family members of all ages. Weddings can be flexible and much more interesting than what seems to be the norm these days. Receptions don't have to be in expensive venues, catering can be organised eg by everyone bringing along different dishes. Weddings can actually be informal and fun! The young seem so unimaginative these days....

It depends who is paying for the wedding, surely? Not everyone has a lot of money and want to invite their close friends and family first then after that it's how many more 'heads' can you afford to invite!

We got married over 40 yrs ago and I had to pay for my own wedding. Having saved up for a long time, I had to pay for all of the wedding costs apart from my dress which my lovely ma-in-law paid for (£20 in the sale!) I had siblings who had children and there were a lot of them! They came to the church but not the wedding breakfast as I just couldn't afford it and you can't invite a select few otherwise it'd be hurt feelings all round. In those days it was a sit-down meal - I don't think anyone did parties/dances/discos or whatever in the evenings in those days!

A difficult one, I agree.

When my former husband and I were getting married we paid for everything ourselves and, therefore, we had to make the budget go a long way. Our guest list comprised parents, siblings, all auntie's and uncle's (both our parents came from large families so that bumped up the numbers considerably) plus our closest friends. We decided that we would not invite any children whatsoever except those belonging to our siblings. They were different as they were our immediate family

nellie all in their posh clothes!

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A lovely natural photo of the little ones Nelliemoser!