Nosey?

I tend to share anything we have planned and just pause, sometimes I hear what others plan to do, sometimes I don't. If they don't offer I don't ask. Personally I'd usually rather offer the information than be asked, but having said that I like people to be reasonably interested, guess we can't get it right all the time.

He doesn't often ask me my plans, I'm very predictable, but I've started to ask husband what his plans are, then add something I've got lined up for him to do. eg Today I asked him to prepare a couple of mackerel ready for me to fry for lunch. I know he can do it because his Dad was a fishmonger.
He's getting very lazy otherwise.

I hate being asked what I am going to do and equally what have you done, where have you been. I had this when I lived at home and now get it from my sister who lives near me all the time. I never quiz my adult children about things, and they always seem to tell me of their own free will. I always feel that if you want people to know you will tell them.

M0nica at least he asks!

DH has twice made his own plans for this weekend and a day next week when we already had longstanding plans (in the diary) for those dates. Now I have to alter one and he has had to alter the other one pdq - or else!!

Opelessgran it is finding the fine line between being nosey and not showing any interest
I wouldn't ask anything at all now unless the information is volunteered.

If you are the asker, tho, and it's been made clear that the askee doesn't like it, knock it off.

I think it's a man thing Monica as my DH asks me every day ( often asks what have WE got planned as well.)Unless I have firm plans I always say something vague like 'nothing much'.
Friends and relatives ask all the time too ( I like the 16 kittens and naked skydiving sunseeker
At least it shows an interest in your life though, if people do ask.

DH does it to me in the morning 'What are your plans for the day?'and I always feel backed into a corner. It is not that I have nothing planned necessarily, but it gives a set-in-stone cast to any activities I have got that are actually quite flexible, like doing some gardening or getting on with making some curtains.

I know it is just a turn of phrase and to a certain extent he wants to know because he wants to make sure our separate activities do not clash, but whenever he says it my hackles rise.

sunseeker more or less what I said.

We don't have a mutual friend do we ?

I agree totally with sunseeker re asking whether I have plans for this weekend. No and not any in the foreseeable future. It is my business and I hate people asking me what I have done, am about to do and what I intend to buy. Some people are making conversation- I personally think that it can be an intrusion. I think that your DIL is thinking along those lines. I know that you are being friendly.

My son in law has a habit of saying "so what have you two got planned for this week then?" which makes me want to scream. I know he's just making conversation, not being nosey, but I always feel as if he puts me on the spot because we don't have a very exciting retirement and quite often we don't have a lot "planned" for our week - we just let it develop! It makes us seem rather dull. I just wish he would find some other conversational gambit!

Instead of asking what she has planned why not just tell her what you have done or are planning to do? Hopefully she will then respond with her plans. Alternatively it could be that she doesn't have any plans and that she feels her life is boring!

It can be a bit wearing when someone keeps asking what your plans are etc. I have a friend who every time I see her asks me what I have been doing (usually not a lot!) and if I have bought anything lately, I am very fond of her but sometimes I feel like saying I'm planning on sky diving naked and I have bought 16 kittens!!

Sorry but I think you are being nosey. Some people just can't help themselves but it doesn't make for a good relationship. GC are the best sources of information, they chat all the time while they are playing, that is how I know where they are going on holiday.

I think if you are doing free childcare then there is an obligation by the recipients to return the kindness and if that means saying what you are doing then they should just grow up and be civilised. I'm getting more and more irritated by the sound of parents who expect free child care but cba to give their own parents/pils the time of day.

I can see both sides here. Your not being nosey your showing an interest and making conversation.
Your DiL could easily see being asked what they're up to, where they've been, who they've seen as nosey. I have a good friend who often texts me asking "What you been up too ?" it can get a bit wearing at times.
Perhaps you could come up with a different conversation starter or tell her what you've been doing.

I am guessing that when you spoke with your relative, it was a mutual exchange of information.

I would say that most often, a relationship with a DIL is not the same sort of relationship.
And it is possible that you want that with her, but can't have it?