Help with daycare costs

Only you know exactly what your financial situation really is and if paying will be a big strain. As far as your son goes my experience is that siblings always think the others are getting more than they are and base their comments on this, not necessarily on what is best for you.I think you are very wise not to over commit yourself as far as child care is concerned.It is hard work and gets harder.One possibility might be to look for activities in your area for young children there are sometimes music groups or movement classes which are cheaper than nursery but which would help when you are looking after him.

Yes, free nursery places are offered at three years old.
My baby boy is only nine months old so a long way to go yet.
As she only works two days a week, nearly half her wages would be spent on nursery fees.

I love having him, but it's a ten hour day, and my back is bad come the evening and next day
Plus he is now starting to crawl. Forgotten just how much hard work they are. It's been 35 years since I've done all this.

I guess I will,have to go with my conscience.

Although I can afford the fees at the moment, I am beginning to have doubts after my son was shocked that I was paying out.

The free childcare isn't quite the help it appears. It's few hours and lunch time isn't covered. I wish the uk would follow the lead of Scandinavian countries, where high quality early years child care is seen as good for society.

I think children get some free hours childcare from the age of three so it's not forever. We've helped DD1 and her husband, our lovely SIL, with childcare for years and we love it and are so grateful that we live near enough to do it.
DD2 lives 2/3 hours away. Both she and her husband (another dear SIL) have good jobs that they've both worked so long and hard to achieve and they are both well paid and so can easily afford the high nursery fees. I think if they were not so comfortably off we would do all we could to help.

It's hard work looking after youngsters, as we all know, especially when you are older, but whether or not you offer to pay for child care instead surely depends on how well the parents are earning. If they earn good money between them then let them get on with it but if they are hard up (and you can afford it) then help them out a little. It's important to remember, though, that the costs may go up and your own need to keep your money may increase, so think carefully before making any offer of financial help - you may need the money yourself.

Hi Victoria, my daughter also has a partner and they both work, him full time and her 2 days a week. They are both on minimum wage and they have a mortgage and all the usual expenses. I am not in a financial position to be able to help pay for nursery fees but, I am lucky in that I am able to look after my grandchild whilst she is at work. If I wasn't, and I had sufficient money, I wouldn't hesitate in helping with the fees. His parents are doing their best and I know they would help me if they were able

Not a lot of energy or cash !!!

I know many grandparents who offer a day or two care for grandchildren who live close by but pay nursery/childminder costs for their grandchildren who live a distance away. It depends I believe on how much energy and cash the grandparents have. The cost of childcare is high. There have been a number of discussions about "young parents both working so they can have big cars/fancy holidays". I'll say here I don't judge young parents. Life is different than it was for me, my parents, grandparents. Each generation in the main, does its best in its own right time. If you can't afford either the cash or the time/energy, say so now and avoid future stress

I offered to pay as am 'unreliable' due to health issues ( my condition is vary variable ) but they wouldn't hear of it.

Sorry but there's no way I would offer to do this. I was lucky to be able to help with my time but I would not pay. Especially when your daughter has a partner. I understand why you can't do as much childcare as you'd like your health is a big consideration and you have nothing to feel guilty about.
Paying maybe a way of easing your conscience but I don't think it's fair on you.
What was her reaction to your offer?