Mother of Groom wedding outfit

I'm really interested in this post as my son is getting married in July and I am pondering on the hat question. I bought my dress before Christmas, so hope no one else will have/be getting the same ( just saw it and liked it!). I "gave away" my 3 daughters (as no Dad around) and wore hats each time. 2 were in church so it felt right the other quite formal in the grounds of an hotel. For my eldest daughter's 2nd marriage the venue was smaller and no "giving away" - so no hat!
Had almost decided no hat this time but just been sent a photo of my youngest daughter (looking fabulous) trying on her outfit in a store - complete with hat! So now what do I do?

Goose1964. Hope you did wear something to your daughter's wedding. Or was it ' au natural'?

I didn't wear a hat at my daughter's wedding as I have thick curly hair . I honestly can't remember if my SIL's mother wore one or not!! I will have to check the wedding photos. If

granfromafar the look she gave me did not brook conversational gambits of any kind. As we didn't know each other from Adam, I thought strategic retreat was the best course of action!!

I only didn't wear a hat at my son's wedding as I look really really awful in hats. My son's MIL and her sister wore splendid hats and they looked fabulous. You wear whatever you jolly well want I say. What ever suits your particular face and makes you both look and feel fabulous. Photo please

I would do what you feel comfortable with its your choice I myself feel a hat makes a wedding outfit after all it isn't often you get the opportunity to wear one these days go for it.

Oh dear, Greyduster, what a predicament to be in. I think I may have tried to lighten the situation by saying to the lady in question something like 'I see we share the same good taste in clothes'.
When I am Mother of the groom next year, I'm hoping to go dress shopping with the mother of the bride so we don't clash. Unfortunately, no-one can control what guests might turn up in.

DS married last summer. I had an email from the bride's mother telling me that she wouldn't be wearing a hat ' because her nose was too big.' (?)
Being wicked I wanted reply that OK, I wouldn't wear a hat either, but if the sun got too hot, could I please shelter under her nose?
DP wouldn't let me do it, sensible chap.

When my son got married I was the only person wearing a hat. All the other women had fascinators. I didn't mind at all and felt it gave me some gravitas (hopefully) as the mother of the groom.

The parents of the bride are not always the hosts these days - often the cost is shared.

Wedding etiquette suggests that the mother of the groom should wear a hat smaller than the mother of the bride's as guests should not outshine their hosts. However, some weddings are less formally structured and in those instances you should wear whatever hat/grand creation/fascinator suits you or indeed go without.

I bought my hat for DS's wedding at Accessorise and sold it on Ebay at a profit. Very satisfying.

It's also useful to find out what the colour theme of the wedding is, as you don't want to clash!

I had a chat with the mother of the bride and she was wearing a hat so I wore one.

As mother of the bride I wore a hat - I was the only one, but I didn't care!!

Thank you all for your wise words, I will have a chat with the bride.

When DS married I didn't wear a hat because DIL's mother didn't want to, the bride's aunts all turned up wearing fascinators. I did wear a hat at DD's wedding, it was a very sunny day and it kept the sun out of my eyes for the hours of photographs.

I too love wearing hats and wore a large fascinator to my son's wedding last year and a slightly smaller one to my step-son's this year. A wedding is a perfect excuse to dress up, and if you enjoy wearing hats and they suit you then why not. However if you don't feel comfortable wearing one then sometimes just a simple hair band looks as effective and is a good compromise.

I wore a fascinator to my son's and noting to my daughter's

For my DS's wedding I wore a slide with 3 creamy white chiffon roses in my French pleat (which felt appropriate as we are Yorkshire folk).It was a very relaxed wedding so hats would have been inappropriate.

DD is unmarried to her partner of 17 years but I can't imagine wearing a hat to their wedding if ever there is one!

I think it depends on whether it is a formal "do" as to whether to wear hats.

Go for it if you like wearing hats. I loved wearing hats and my C's weddings were a perfect excuse. Most of my friends offspring also had very dressy and formal weddings so for a few years I got my fill of dressing up and loved it. They all ended up in the local preschools' dressing up corner where they were very popular I was told.

welshwife that happened to me! We were invited to the wedding of a work colleague of DH's. We didn't know anyone else who was attending except the bride. I bought a dress and jacket and turned up to find the bride's mum wearing exactly the same outfit! I was mortified. She had a face like thunder and I spent a lot of time skulking at the back of the assemblage! I didn't want to cause her further embarrassment so we left. DH said it looked much better on me !

When DS got married I said to his bride to be "please don't expect me to wear anything on my head. I don't do hats except when I'm fishing!" She was absolutely fine with it. Most ladies, but not all, wore hats or fascinators. Just do what you feel comfortable with. I also chose not to wear a hat when I got married, fifty years ago, much to the disgust of the two older female civil servants I shared an office with, who thought I'd committed a sartorial crime of the highest order.

I love hats - so if it were me I would have a hat and wear it and if I felt out of place then take it off. I had a lucky escape when DS got married - I looked at an outfit and almost bought it but eventually went for another - only to turn up on the day to find the mother of the bride wearing the outfit I was within a hair's breadth of buying!

Have a lovely day. I was Mother of the Groom at 2 weddings last year and nobody wore a hat to either. If you really want to wear a hat, then wear one - it's a special day for you as well.

Could you not ask the bride, your soon to be DIL? I think historically the mother of the bride took the lead but now unless it's a very traditional wedding the bride will usually state her preferences. My personal experience is of being gently but firmly 'encouraged' to wear a hat at one wedding and given free choice at the other. Fascinators can be a compromise if you like them. Personally I think I would take the lead set by the briides Mum, but why not have a chat to both bride and her Mum and get their feelings on it? Whatever the outcome, have a lovely day.