Feeling as if none of the family really care

I have just started picking my granddaughter up 3 days a week from school and have mentioned this no greeting to my daughter and it did improve slightly however I think after reading some of the comments maybe talking directly to them may help things however I some times feel it may be a little petty as she is only eight and I am the adult, what does any one else think.

I have never known parents or grandparents to be an embarrassment at the school gates! The children are being rude and should be corrected.

I wonder why the grandparents here are still doing the school collecting job at all. I don't think I would be under those circumstances.

I agree with what other posters have said. I suspect a lot of us have felt this way, to some degree.

It is a balance between being ther, supportive and leading your own life. Difficult when we love and care for our families.

If you can manage it, I'd plan a longish holiday somewhere, send a postcard and let them be the ones to make further contact.

As for your GCs then their behaviour is just plain rudeness, to anyone who is picking them up, let alone their grandparents!

Hope you are feeling more upbeat, soon.

I think Luckygirl has a point ! The busier you get the more 'attractive' you look to family and friends.

I know how you feel because sometimes I think its all give ,give, give on our side and take, take, take on theirs. We are the first port of call for babysitting and help and support but they cant even send their father a card on Fathers day [smile} ( they both turned up a day late to spend time with him and brought cards but not the point !)

I think, they just don't think sometimes. But again I agree with Lucky I don't think I was any better with my parents. I think I probably took them for granted too.

Still, I feel for you and I'm sorry its made you so down x

Do not fret about the children saying little or nothing when you pick them up - parents and GPs are a huge embarrassment at the school gate!

I would try and develop your own lives and interests more so that the business of your family's lives does not loom so large. I do not think it is because they do not care, but because they are all so busy. TBH if I look back I cannot claim to have been all that good with my own parents when I was tied up in the bringing up of children. You may find that the busier your own life becomes the more they get in touch! Chin up!

You are not alone, I know how you must be feeling, so a big hug from me.

I'm sure your children and grandchildren do have very busy lives with pressures maybe you don't know about. We don't see ours very often - but as you said, if you need them they will be there. Now's your time for doing things you enjoy rather than having to consider everyone else. Reading posts on here generally, I do get the feeling that many of us appear needy - let's live our lives and not live through others.

Make the most of the time with your partner whilst you have each other, I think you have to turn the situation to your advantage. You cannot change them, but you can alter your life with your partner. Don't worry about what you can't have, enjoy what you do,

[hugs] and anything else that makes you feel better. You are definitely not alone in feeling as you do. It's all a balancing act isn't it and sometimes the dice is loaded against you - but maybe taking some time out from pleasing these people (the four children etc.) is not a bad idea. Put yourselves first for a change and don't feel bad about it - after all we are only here for a short time relatively speaking (ironic or what) Anyway, I hope you get my drift. Supportive advice before my post so take heed. Maybe I'll do the same So much easier giving advice than taking it !!!

Virtual hugs on their way from me daphne and some . It can seem that way with our family sometimes, ironically especially those living the closest. We can and do talk about it and that helps. Their lives are full to bursting and yes, we do get overlooked at times. We've had to work hard to find ways of contact that work for us all. Ok most of the time but sometimes definitely not. You aren't alone with the neglected feeling. We now refuse to let it take over. It's on with the , out to do something we enjoy and on with our lives. It is certainly worth working on the grandchildren, no need for rudeness, although the school pickup can be mayhem there's room for a greeting. Good luck with it all, hope you feel more cared for soon.

Quality time, we don't always get it us grans. We are always there for them though. My lot come on Sundays for lunch ( not every week). DH and I spend ages preparing it, then they eat and run. Wouldn't change things though, at least they come.
Sorry you feel so down, hugs from me.

Hug from me too. I feel like that sometimes about my elder daughter. And the grandsons. Wrapped up in their own lives.

Mind you, I can't honestly say I care a lot. I'm fine anyway. When they visit there's the shopping and the cooking to do. And the house to clean.

Lots of virtual hugs to you and OH.
They sound a self-absorbed bunch. Might it be worth telling them how you feel?
When you meet the grandchildren, how about not moving from the spot until they say hello? Do give them a clue that's what you're waiting for, tho!

i think you both need to take a long holiday if you can,enjoy Yourself's , find things to do together and let all children know you are not there just for them. lots of hugs xx

Virtual hugs sent, but how very rude of the grandchildren not to even speak to you!