Will it really happen?

One of my grandsons got married very quietly, register office - her parents didn't like his religion...we didn't know either!

Sometimes when we're bothered about something, we often flit from one thought to another and it can be so good to get them all out in the open. It's like emptying your mind to have a good look at what was in there!

You would be surprised at how many people get married without telling anyone. I've worked with a couple of people who were living together that got married and didn't tell anyone. The women didn't change their names, so we had no idea. I can't remember now how we found out, but it did cause a bit of a stir.

JessM - Thank you. I feel so much better for having got it all off my chest. I felt like my mind was tying itself in knots before,and I had that horrible 'churned up inside' feeling. There just didn't seem to be anyone that I could talk to about it,without being judged. Thank you to everyone who offered me kind words.

Glad you are feeling better Spangles and I like Wilma's suggestion - it is nobody's business but your own.

WilmaKnickersfit and JessM - yes,he is here legally,he was given 'indefinite leave to stay' in,I think 2005. Your suggestion about getting married on the quiet in a registry office sounds like a good one. Must admit it had not even entered my head to do that. When Ramadan has finished next week,I will be having a little chat with him!

Thanks - interesting

From the migration observatory.

"The study illustrates just how hard it would be to untangle the UK economy from an often hidden army of hundreds of thousands of people from all over the EU who have found work in Britain.

The independent research group’s findings are derived from the Labour Force Survey, which is the largest household survey in the UK and broadly representative of the country’s population.

The Migration Observatory applied the two key criteria underpinning the government’s tier-2 skilled worker visa programme for non-EU workers and applied it to the existing EU workforce in the UK. The first is that the job must be a graduate-level role, and the second is that the salary for the job must be more than £20,800.

The study also applies a new earnings threshold of £30,000 the government plans to introduce for most non-EU workers in April 2017.

While the data provide an understanding of the number of EU citizens living and working in the UK, the study does not give information on the flow of workers in and out of the country.

Most EU migrant workers would not fit the criteria for non-EU rules. My son's partner is very worried. She has two jobs in education. Part as a teacher and part as a TA. she has been offered full time TA, but cannot afford to take it in case it makes her not wanted. A teacher is needed more.

www.express.co.uk/news/uk/683613/F-off-graffiti-Polish-community-centre-London-Cambridge-racially-motivated-crime

Only if you have lived here for less than 10 years dj.

Nowadays it depends on whether you lose your job or not.
If an EU citizen loses his/her job and the couple no longer have an income of £35,000 they could be repatriated.

Just one other thought, you could get legally married at a Registry Office and simply not tell anyone. You only need two witnesses.

Spangle I agree that if he's here legally, then he should be fine. But maybe you could both go to see Citizens Advice to get reassurance?

Thank you for your kind words Ginny42 and JessM. We would get married tomorrow if I knew we weren't going to encounter any problems. By problems,I mean with me not being a Muslim. My family love him but his family where I am concerned,not so much. And loathe though I am to say this,it is because I am not a Muslim. I am not religious AT ALL,so converting isn't really an option for me. I would feel like a fraud and a hypocrite. So in the meantime,I must just play the waiting game......

Deedaa have pmd you

DS is worrying about his Hungarian partner and half hungarian son. I think there will be so much chaos with immigration control and so on that no one's going to have time for chasing up people who've been here for years. (I hope!)

Oh Spangles there are so many people feeling worried. The referendum will only affect EU citizens and not anyone else.
He's your partner? Could you get married? That might give him and you an extra feeling of security. But if he is here on a legal basis there should be no reason for you to worry.
It is very sad that those nasty men Farage, Johnson and Gove along with certain newspapers have been stirring up racist feelings across the country and upsetting many people who have made their homes here.

Just waiting for the next installment Bellanonna

Actually the UK border was only moved to Calais and Paris after the Sangatte agreement in 1991.

It is how it was pre EU too Durhamjen (with borders in the UK and France. Why would the ferry companies risk huge fines? (I think they said £2000 for letting someone cross without a valid passport).

Spangles I'm not sure even an MP could give you the reassurances you seek. Some would say least of all an MP. Others may know more than I, but I think it's a case of wait and see, although I know that's going to be a nerve wracking wait for you.

Try to stay positive whilst we see what happens now.

That's preBrexit, Mamie.
People voted for having control over all our borders in the UK.
The French will want the asylum seekers to come here to claim asylum. They are only being held over in Calais because we are part of the EU.

I really like that AlieOxon ! ?

Please please can someone reassure me that all immigrants are NOT going to be sent back to where they came from? MY DP is an Ethiopian Muslim and the things I have heard people saying makes me believe that this is a real possibility. There seems to be so much hatred against them at the moment,it scares me. He has been here nearly 20 years,we have been together nearly 4 years and the thought of him having to leave the place he now regards as his home terrifies me.

I don't get why the new arrangements (actually the old arrangements) would be any different from Caen, Dieppe, Roscoff etc. The border is not in France for these ports, it is in the UK.

Welshwife I do about 8 return crossings a year from Caen (my local port), Dieppe and Calais. Foot passenger controls are very strict; your luggage is x-rayed in Caen. I have been at Newhaven when people turned up without passports and have been told the ferry companies face a huge fine if they let people on without them.
Of course some refugees will have passports but border control in Dover would have to pick that up.