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Am I now Completely Mad ( longish post)

(119 Posts)
grannylyn65 Fri 08-Jul-16 09:17:57

Some of you may know a bit about me!
Anyway, have lived alone for over 25 years, retired on State P, a small work one and have a wee job
Out of the pension pot I have bought DS one 2 holidays ) they both work hard and struggle.
My oldest son ( 44) has probably worked a month in his life, is highly intelligent and been given chances all his life. He looks like a tramp (apologies to tramps! ) and spends all his benefits on weed and now has no teeth but can't be bothered to sort it, over the years I have shelled out thousands to try to keep him out of trouble and when his benefits are stopped because he 'forgot to attend interview' He has been in prison twice in his teenage years.
Well, I don't drink ( 30 years sober !) smoke ( now ) I don't get out much! And I have a permanent stomach problem, so don't mention curry!!
So, I suddenly had a mini meltdown, thought f*
them all and have booked a 12 day tour in India, this will use quarter of my savings!
Have I finally lost it ? Should I cancel? I am very very apprehensive!
Lastly, I have holidayed abroad 3 times in 30 years!
I generally trust gn's wisdom!!

Grannyknot Fri 08-Jul-16 09:23:24

I wouldn't think twice if I were you. Enjoy your holiday smile

GandTea Fri 08-Jul-16 09:24:12

You sound very sane to me.

You can't take it with you, so enjoy yourself whilst you are still able. I'm sure you will love or hate India, but it will be a holiday to remember and talk about (most people I know who have been love it)

Tell us about it when you return.

NanaandGrampy Fri 08-Jul-16 09:25:33

Don't you dare cancel ( although the curry thing might be an issue smile !!

You deserve a break , life is short and you've done your bit for your children.

If this is a dream - follow it.

Have an amazing time , stock up on memories for when you return, take lots of pictures and tell us all about it !!

Good luck.

Nannylovesshopping Fri 08-Jul-16 09:27:04

do not cancel grannylyn65, your trip sounds amazing, be very brave and go for it, as a fairly new poster I don't know your story but it sounds as if you have been the very best mum possible, you will still have some savings left, which hopefully you will spend every last penny on your self, I hope you have a wonderful trip and I wish I was coming with you, good lucksmile

Beammeupscottie Fri 08-Jul-16 09:27:37

India with dodgy plumbing? Take omodium with you and a couple of packets of dry biscuits. Avoid salads and street food.

Greenfinch Fri 08-Jul-16 09:27:44

Go for it..You will regret it if you don't.

sunseeker Fri 08-Jul-16 09:27:49

Go - enjoy yourself and tell us all about it when you get back. You have supported your family over the years, now its your turn to have fun.

hildajenniJ Fri 08-Jul-16 09:45:42

Go for it! I would live to come with you, I've always wanted to visit India but can't persuade DH. Let your family fend for themselves for a while, it's time you treated yourself. As others have said, tell us all about it when you return. envy

Maggiemaybe Fri 08-Jul-16 09:46:48

Not at all mad for spending your own money on yourself, grannylyn5 smile You certainly deserve a lovely holiday and it sounds as if it's long overdue. But - and I don't wish to rain on your parade here - due to your gastroparesis I'd run the idea of India past your GP. You'll feel more confident yourself if he/she gives you the thumbs up. And if not, you could choose another wonderful part of the world where the food might better suit your condition.

silverlining48 Fri 08-Jul-16 09:47:45

Go, and have a brilliant time

rosesarered Fri 08-Jul-16 09:49:45

Grannylynn your subconcious has spoken and you should obey it, so go ahead and enjoy a new experience, have the mildest food possible, India is not all about curries, and there is a lot of vegetarian food to be had there too.
So sad for you as regards your son, but you already know that whatever you do will never be enough and he will always have these problems.💐
.

Mumsy Fri 08-Jul-16 09:56:49

good for you Grannylyn what an exciting thing to do. Did you see the bbc documentary The real Marigold hotel? if you havent its well worth a watch before you go on your travels.

MiniMouse Fri 08-Jul-16 10:14:28

Agree with what everyone else has said - go for it! Make sure you pack plenty of loperamide and off you go! winksmile

DanniRae Fri 08-Jul-16 10:15:20

Sounds like a brilliant idea Grannylynn! What an amazing place to visit. I really hope you have a great holiday and India is all you hope it will be.

Riverwalk Fri 08-Jul-16 10:20:27

Sounds like a great idea - it's your money, why not!

I went to India last Oct/Nov - assuming you're going with a tour company you'll be staying in good quality hotels that have a variety of 'international' foods, and there's more to Indian cuisine than hot & spicy. As said, don't eat street food.

Charleygirl Fri 08-Jul-16 10:24:33

Look after no.1 for once and thoroughly enjoy yourself.

J52 Fri 08-Jul-16 10:24:34

Agree with everyone else. It all sounds wonderful! Start as you mean to go on and when you get back make sure you enjoy something that is just for you, at least once a month or more!

Have a lovely memorable time.

trisher Fri 08-Jul-16 10:25:37

You haven't 'lost' it you've actually found yourself. Go for it and don't stop at this holiday, look on it as the start of a new life where you do things just for you. Have a great time!

harrigran Fri 08-Jul-16 10:31:47

Just do it. If you don't spend your money now your kids will do it later. This my philosophy now, I have a SIL who doesn't work and has a cushy life, well he is not going to do it on my money when I am gone, what's left will go to a cat's home.

Auntieflo Fri 08-Jul-16 10:39:19

I second what trisher has said. You deserve a " you time" holiday after all that you have done for your children. Don't think for a second, what if, just pack and go with all our good wishes. When we went to India, my DH was told that to drink, fast, a bottle of flat cola when he had an upset tum.

Liz46 Fri 08-Jul-16 10:40:55

Good for you! We have booked to go to South Goa for three weeks in February. It will be our 11th time to India. I have found that the chef will make you anything you fancy even if it is not on the menu. I was in a beach shack and fancied egg and chips. I asked if it was possible and the Chinese chef made the chips in his wok and they were delicious.

Christinefrance Fri 08-Jul-16 11:02:45

Go for it Grannylyn65 time for your son to take responsibility for himself, you have gone over and above.
Have a wonderful time and forget about home problems for a while. Just be cautious with food and water but enjoy

Indinana Fri 08-Jul-16 11:06:22

What an amazing thing to do, I am in awe of you! You must go, of course (though as another one with a permanent tummy problem, I'd be somewhat nervous of that particular destination shock).
Have a fabulous time and come back and tell us all about it!

annodomini Fri 08-Jul-16 11:06:51

Grannylynn, do not cancel your holiday. You'd never forgive yourself, wondering what it might have been like. Have a great time and tell us all about it when you come back.sunshine