Daughter went away for two weeks.

Goodness, what hits me about this thread is how begat is you are about your own daughter. You actually ask whether she is a neglectful mother. Sounds to me like you have very little faith in your daughter as a mother. But you know what, her boys did ok on their own, didn't they?

Begat should read negative!

I left my 17 year old daughter at home with her best friend, Joanne, who was also 17, staying to keep her company. We were away for two weeks and I had stocked up the freezer with meals she liked,and made sure the house was clean and tidy before we went away. I rang her twice a week at a pre-arranged time and, when we got back, my late hubby commented 'well, at least the house is still standing!'. They were fine, we walked in to find them frantically trying to wash and dry two weeks worth of washing and the dishwasher churning away at the dishes (it was crammed full so probably a week's worth).

I really think it really depends upon how trustworthy the oldest son is and how the younger brother reacts to his older brother being in a position of responsibility. Their mother would know this and has acted accordingly. She would know her home wouldn't be in a pristine condition, as long as no wild parties were held , she'd be happy with just a mess. Its a great lesson in life for both boys.

Goodness me my grand dad was fighting in France at 16 WW1 he altered his birth certificate my dad was in the army in Germany WW2 at 18 my own eldest daughter was in London nursing Aids patients at 18 and my youngest daughter was working in Greece for the summer when she was 17 I think kids are much more able than you think. As for getting a 15 year old ready I can't even imagine that after about 8 As someone else has said they should be cooking and looking after themselves when an adults not around if they can't cook or at least put something together be it out of a tin or a pot noodle then they are really going to struggle in life unless they get a wife prepared to dress them and cook for them Don't worry we all need to watch them fall to watch them fly

I probably wouldn't of left a fifteen year old but yes an eighteen year old I was married young so eighteen isn't young to me in fending for oneself. I think she probably knew her boys would be ok and they can get dressed themselves! I've got 29!year old who is still at home and do for him as much as I did when he was young more fool me!!! I know!! My eldest son went abroad at 17 on holiday and I didn't worry as he was really responsible"

My late Husband went away for a week after his divorce (prior to meeting me some time later) - only sign that anything had happened was overpowering smell of "Shake n Vac" (remember that)in the Lounge. His son was 17 & daughter was 20 although she spent a lot of time staying at her bf's or out with friends. More upsetting was when we holidayed with my family, my daughter was only 9 so she came with us, we came back to find someone had slept in our bed (not even changed sheets before we came back) & one of my cottages (I collect Lilliput Lane) had gone missing. I was very upset as my daughter had chosen & bought that for my Birthday, luckily I managed to replace it. We immediately had a lock put on our bedroom door!!!!!

Hi Melanie, I personally wouldnt leave 2 teenagers alone at home for that long - 2 weeks. I waa a sensible teenager, working full time and married at 18, running a home. However when I was 23 my parents wanted to go on holiday abroad and asked me to take a week off work and stay at their house to watch over my brother aged 17 and my sister aged 20, both at uni, to stop them having a party or parties in the home.I was happy to. My father gave my siblings the keys to his allotment (to pick veg) and the freezer was full. They did plead with me to allow a party but I held firm. My son (I made sure of it) could cook a whole roast dinner by the age of nineteen. And he could work the washing machine but I wouldnt have left him alone for 2 weeks.

A friend of ours had their house trash as a result og leaving their teenage daughter alone. She arranged a small party for a few of her 6th form friends, our son was one. News got out and it was gate crashed by dozens of strangers. They went to a neighbour, who called the police,but by then the damage was done. Our son was distraught when he got home. All her friends went round the next day to try and clear up as best they could and have a whip round to pay for the damage.

Silly things can happen to the most responsible young people these days, through no fault of their own. For example, if one if their friends (or even just an acquaintance) finds out the parents are away they might plan a party and advertise it on social media. It could get out of hand very quickly with drink and drugs, and things getting broken. If there is a trusted adult in the street they could be asked to keep an eye on things.

How old is too young to leave???

I ask this because my partner who is over 75 years young left a whole saucepan of boiling chicken on the gas and has just stunk the house out with smoke. I turned it off eventually before the house burnt down. And he didn't say a word......

I can't see the problem when one is an adult and in any case they had people to call on in an emergency. My mother left me when I was 18yrs with my brothers aged 16 and 13.

She ought to have told them to keep the washing up to date and to tidy up after themselves!

My husband and me went away for a weekend to Paris and left our only daughter aged 17 at the time, at home with her friend.
When we got back there wasn't a clean towel in the place.it turned out they'd had a party and had used all the towels to clean up,except my bedroom mirror which was covered in chocolate cake mix! Dried hard!
They learned a lot,other teenagers had very little respect for the surroundings and left them to clear up.my daughter looked awful and Never had anyone round again if we were away.
Her grandparents lived locally, saw the mess and left her to clear up, good on the I say!

Leticia I agree, just show them the door of the washing machine, where the liquid/powder/softener goes and switch on. Easy peasy

And remember to take it out before it goes mouldy

Zorro I told the tale on another thread where I left the eggs on to boil and they exploded .....
I have left the chicken on, simmering for stock too, and ended up with a burnt saucepan.

But I don't have wild parties when DH is out

We left our son home alone for a weekend when he was 17 and was studying for exams. My Mother who lived 70 miles away had been taken ill so we had no choice.
When we got back and opened the front door we could see the lines left by the Hoover on the very clean carpet and there was a strong smell of furniture polish.Upstairs 2 beds had been changed and the smell of fabric conditioner was overwhelming. He is 40 now and says he has no memory of it. Hmmm

I was married at 16 and had a 12 month old baby by the time I was 18. I was absolutely fine. No harm done.
Too young of course, but then a lot of us did things early in those days.

It's fine. 18 is adult. Old enough to marry, vote, drive and live independently. I used to leave my older children 17 and 18 when we went on holiday. They were fine. No wild parties. If they feel they are trusted then it will do great for their self esteem.

I'm in a minority here. People obviously vary and one fifteen-year-old could be sensible and mature whilst another... well, not. The older boy could have left the 'daft teenager' phase but... perhaps not.

I have knowledge of a friend's daughters who, when left alone for a week, had a party which rapidly became out of control and a beautiful house was trashed (to the extent that a marble fireplace was forced off a wall and paint split over carpets).

There are also the excesses which these boys, now free of parental supervision, may feel free to indulge in. Again, perhaps not, as it depends on their personalities/friends/upbringing - but who can tell which it will be?

Personally I wouldn't be happy about leaving boys of this age alone and yes, I understand that one can vote/join the army etc., etc. I would say it's a bit of a lottery as to what could happen and overall still think that peer-pressure could encourage uncharacteristic behaviour that could damage their home and themselves!

Hear hear Candelle!

The mother in the OP obviously judged her children well, as all she came home to was a load of washing and a messy house!

I left my daughter and son 16 and 14 for two weeks when I had to accompany my husband on holiday after he had been ill. Daughter cooked every evening and son cleaned the house. They looked after the cats and dog. My mother lived nearby but they never had to,call on her.

I left home at 16, got a job and was very capable of looking after myself. Would I have trusted my two children home alone at 18 and 15 years of age? Only with great trepidation. It does depend on the individual I think.