Overnight stay for grandchildren

spot on nanaandgrampy grandchildren are quite happy to go by our routine because that is our routine, and they do realise that. I dread when the parents pick up their littl'uns because they play up so much. Much prefer to drop the grandchildren back their homes

if just now and then how about a camp bed? we have one from Argos which is light weight, modern and strong enough for an adult but folds up small into a bag which can be stored in the loft or cupboard under the stairs. Cheap and great for times like Christmas when we have a house full. also won't develop a leak like air beds can, though I must say we have a double one of those which is good too.

I had a general conversation this morning with husband about 2nd marriages and the idea of a family unit - problems of being step-parent etc for anyone who is in this situation. After all, as far as the problem I asked for advice on is concerned, the step father of the grandson was ignored, and my concerns were also ignored. I was taken aback to learn that my husband didn't really know what a family unit was, and thinks his entire family is wonderful because it all meets up occasionally - inc. ex wife. I did not tell him I felt things were so bad that I was seriously thinking of leaving.

So his children take precedent over you, and if you ask for something the answer is 'no'?

Well there needs to be new rules laid diwn PDQ I'd say. I can't tell you what to do but I afraid this would lead to a major row and a shifting of the status quo Zoro

SORRY - OP and Zorro, my last post confused the two of you, intended for Zorro, not OP.
Over and out, I think I need sleep ??

Elegant - more of a rave than a sleepover! I doubt much sleeping was done. The boy's mother should certainly know as she seemed to think that only 2 boys were coming. How big was the tent, one wonders!
So OP's DH was happy to lie to his DD about the screaming and the neighbours' complaints even though he apologised to them!! Then this charmer had a go at poor OP for not lying too!! Mumsnet would be well into LTB posts after that!

Trisher,

It is actually worse than that - my husband has just got angry with me for "siding" with the neighbours instead of agreeing with him that there was no noise.

I then had to tell him that as grandfather of the boy he should have told him off, with all the others.

I am beyond exasperated with the whole thing. As usual, he is blaming me.

Zorro even being deaf does not excuse your husband reporting to his daughter that 'everything was fine' if the neighbours complained they obviously weren't and by covering up for his GS he is effectively condoning the behaviour and inviting a repeat. Perhaps you should just keep quiet but wait until another request is made then book yourself into a spa for the night and leave them to it. Then if neighbours complain on your return you can tell the dear daughter about it without feeling you are contradicting your husband.

That was to Zorro

Does the boy's mother know about the numbers and the noise? If she is aware that her father is deaf, she will understand if you tell her that you and the neighbours heard far more of the screaming than he did.

I think you should tell her that one boy, perhaps with a pal, was what you thought would be camping there but eleven was really too many of them and you would rather not have a repeat. Perhaps she didn't know that it would be a rave sleep-over?

If space is an issue, a real bed isn't always possible. We are considering a blow-up bed for our granddaughter who is almost three. I'm not sure of the best place to buy one though. Any advice welcome - won't need one with sides and prefer washable covers. A theme might induce her to sleep in it rather than in our bed (she co-sleeps with her parents as a rule, though they've now bought her a proper bed which she only uses for naps... [sigh]

Can I just ask for advice on this one: my husband will deny his 3 daughters and son nothing, while if I ask for something it is often no.

However, his favourite daughter asked if her son could stay in a tent with 2 friends in our garden. He agreed, thinking it would be fun for boys. What actually happened was that 11 assorted sexes of 16 year olds turned up, only one of which (the grandchild) we knew. I was angry but ignored, so all went ahead as planned. The night was horrendous, full of screaming at all hours. My husband, who is deaf, reported to daughter that all had been fine, although I had informed him of the screaming. I do not wish to have a full blown argument with my husband over this, but am actually fuming. Neighbours have complained as well about the noise, so I did get husband to apologise to them. Any advice on how to deal with this ? I have no children.

i always find they want to sleep with me.Or make up a bed with spare duvets and a child's sleeping bag for eldest GC on the floor,just like camping.

Many thanks for all the useful advice, a friend has a bed she uses to go camping so we are borrowing it, husband has pointed out that we have a single bed base in the loft! Who knew! But no mattress. Think might have to see what he has been putting in the loft too.

Grandson is up for it but his sister is not so keen. I think I will have to sort out the other room, because I would love them to stay over more often, they were here most of yesterday and I am shattered, as they are coming down on Saturday, will just vacuum and tidy today, deep clean on Sunday possibly or possibly not.

They keep me young but remind me how old I am at the same time.

We have had all four of our grandchildren from new born to stay over so have got it down to a fine art over 9 years.

We have a room with a cot which becomes a cot bed as they grow out of the cot. That's in one room ( which doubles as my craft room .

In the other we have bunk beds , and as we rarely have all 4 together that gives us plenty of space. Their rooms here have the same sort of things that they do at home , books , toys etc so for them its just a home extension.

The real difference is Nana's house, Nana's rules which both my daughters are happy with .

We do bath, drink, bathroom and teeth, story and bed for the littlest ones . Older ones can read in bed if they wish . We do have music in the little ones room.

The funny thing is , their parents often tell us how it takes an hour to get them settled and that they get up in the night etc. Not in our house they don't

We never change the routine , as they become potty trained they get up in the night and go to the bathroom , popping back into bed when they're done. Only a nightmare would see them materialising by my bed.

Now the 3 oldest are 9,6 and 4 we have the bunk beds on top of one another but until we were confident of ladder capabilities we had them down side by side.

We really cherish our time with them all so hope you enjoy your time too ( although I guarantee its exhausting

Oh dear; I must say the only one I have seen has been one that M&S did, it was very good but of course very expensive!

I have just remembered that DD used to keep a flip-out chair-bed in her room for the occasional visitor. Someone gave it to us but it was quite comfortable for a night or two.

'rid' of them, not 'to'!
Think I'd better slink off to Facebook where I can edit all my typos!

Have!

Jalima - some of those beds with a pull out are great but I've found to my cost that you get what you pay for! I managed to buy a pair so flimsy that I couldn't wait to get to of them!
DD has in her DS's room two large sturdy cushions which unzip into futons. Many children on sleepovers and the occasional adult (me!) has slept comfortably on them.

Those single beds with one that pulls out from underneath are a good idea as the little one will need a bed too now.
There are some ideas on ebay and they are not overly expensive; some of them convert into a 'day bed' when not in use as a bed.

www.ebay.co.uk/bhp/single-bed-with-under-bed

I have a bed for my DGDs but when we had extra visitors they slept on a duvet on the floor in my room with another duvet on top. They were very happy with this. Most kids are comfortable anywhere and don't mind the floor. The only problem I had was last year when they were getting too big to share the single bed and I now have a fold up bed as well.

If a regular thing I think they need proper beds with a good mattress

Is this a one off visit or a regular occurrence? If the first then do you have friends who might have a put you up or blow up beds they could loan you? A try before you buy type of thing! When our 3 came with Mummy and Daddy the 6 yr old used a put you up, the 3 yr old a child's blow up and the 2 yr old a travel cot ~ all borrowed from friends. They did very well in them for two weeks. As we live abroad and the visits are not regular our group of friends help each other out with essential equipment and toys which are stored in a dry outbuilding until needed. We have found this system very useful indeed.

My DD asked the other day of we could babysit our nine year old GS in November and stay over as they are going to a concert and will be late. "Grandad can sleep on a blow up mattress in my room" pipes up little 'un, "and Nanny can sleep on the sofa!" In your dreams, child!

We will be getting a blow up child mattress for our GD when she grows out of her travel cot. I don't think I would trust bunk beds and they are awful to change bedding on.