Am I right to feel miffed

I think this was a very nice gesture on your part Opelessgran15 however I would suggest you give your friend time to see where and who she prefers to holiday with. I'm sure after a while she'll realise who she would want to chum her. It's not always easy to holiday with others at the best of times and she'll get to know this once she's been away. Just continue to be her friend and I'm sure things will work out just fine for you both.

But can it not be the poor woman wanted to get away for a few days now not wait until next spring , yes it would have been polite to ring up and say she was going in September but surely understandable she will feel close to a friend who has suffered the loss of a husband too

I wonder if your friend was backed into a corner and didn't know how to get out of it? Perhaps she thinks of you as such a good friend that she rather took it for granted that you'd forgive her? Having said that, I'd be feeling very hurt, too!

I m with you KatyK and Wilma I would find this very hurtful and would see my friendship in a different light a real slap in the face she should have said to you so and so has also suggested it andi d like to do both or shall we all go together

I'm with KatyK. I would see this a a slap in the face and be cut to the quick. At the very least the friend could have contacted her before booking to explain why she was going with the other person. I would be on my guard now that this friend is perhaps moving away from our friendship.

As she is very recently windowed perhaps spending time with someone who doesn't have a partner was what she needed. Not always easy to think things through when struggling with grief

I think because I have had this sort of thing happen to me a few times, I find it very hurtful. You are all very kind and understanding, I must try harder.

Shortly after I was widowed a friend suggested we go on holiday together, she wanted to do a river cruise and she asked me to look into it, even suggested dates we could go. I got brochures, checked websites and prices, checked dates etc. I then sent an email with all the information and she replied it was only a suggestion! She had asked me to make all the enquiries and had been very enthusiastic about it at the time. I can understand if she had just changed her mind but she left me feeling as if I was trying to pressure her into going - I wasn't, hadn't even begun to think of a holiday at that time.

Your friend my see more potential in the other lady for trips etc. as you have a husband? It might be her chance to strengthen her relationship with a single person. It must be hard after a partner's death to establish a different social lfe?? She will still vaue your friendship.

Gosh aren't people on here nice? I would be fuming!

I think the most you can say is something like, "If it should fall through with XXXX maybe we could think of doing it instead - and there will be other chances in the future."

You don't want to put a damper on her holiday by saying that you are disappointed, but you do want her to know that you are happy to go with her. Perhaps she knows this other friend and how it may never happen, for one reason or another.

Oh this would have really upset me too. But you did say something at the time and well done for that. I would now put it down to experience and not mention it again. You were being a good friend to this lady so don't feel bad - just say to yourself "It's her loss!"