Gransnet forums

Ask a gran

If you could change one thing from the past...

(58 Posts)
ariana6 Mon 08-Aug-16 10:24:36

If you could change one thing from the past, what would it be? For me it would be having more self confidence when I was younger.

seacliff Mon 08-Aug-16 19:23:44

I agree with Nonna about the self confidence/shyness which has affected me all through my life. If I'd had more feelings of self worth, I wouldn't have settled for the first boy who proposed to me.

Fairydoll2030 Mon 08-Aug-16 21:16:47

Not worrying about things as much as I did. Sometimes things didn't turn out well for me but worrying so much about them made it no better nor worse.

Still trying to worry less.

Greyduster Mon 08-Aug-16 21:49:49

Another here for self-confidence. I turned down so many chances that were offered to me because I didn't think I would be good enough.

Judthepud2 Mon 08-Aug-16 22:48:31

Not spending enough time with my mother when she was dying of cancer. I prioritised my job, children and voluntary work until it was too late. I did sit with her at the end and hold her hand but should have been there more often for longer. ?

Like Morethan getting too emotionally involved when DD's husband left her. I should have been stronger but was just recovering from cancer treatment and wasn't at my best. My other DDs took the same attitude as MT's.

cornergran Mon 08-Aug-16 23:15:17

Like others to overcome shyness and believe I could - instead of assuming I couldn't!

grannyqueenie Mon 08-Aug-16 23:34:09

What are we like, so many of us, and I include myself in that, have been hampered by shyness or lack of confidence over the years. Here's to believing in the strong, capable women that we really are!

Thingmajig Tue 09-Aug-16 09:57:29

My biggest regret must be taking up with the totally useless first swine husband ... but then I wouldn't have had my perfect DD, even more perfect etc and probably not absolutely perfect DH either!

We can't change things in our past only make the very best of our present ... and I'm very happy with mine! smile

KatyK Tue 09-Aug-16 10:07:45

Another shy, lacking in confidence person here sad

henetha Tue 09-Aug-16 10:17:42

I wish I had been born into a normal family.

Nannylovesshopping Tue 09-Aug-16 10:41:44

I wish I hadn't been adopted.

NotTooOld Tue 09-Aug-16 10:56:29

Ooh - so much that I can relate to here. I thought I had only a few regrets but now I am reminded of many, many more. Still, what's the point of regrets? We can't change anything and we probably made the best choice we could at the time so let's just get on with our lives. No-one's perfect.

AlieOxon Tue 09-Aug-16 11:39:44

Bring my daughter back.

kittylester Tue 09-Aug-16 11:49:52

(((hugs))) Alie, doesn't help, I expect, but have one nevertheless. flowers

JackyB Tue 09-Aug-16 12:11:51

Taking more care of my health and fitness. I'm sure I would feel more energetic and active now, and happier with my appearance. This sounds self-centred, as compared with other posters' contributions, but I would then have more energy to devote to others, as well as being more cheerful and a good mood is catching.

TerriBull Tue 09-Aug-16 17:14:46

To have had the foresight when I was young to have known that I was going to take a keen interest in genealogy one day. I could have then asked my grandparents innumberable questions about their lives and their grandparents, particularly why some emigrated here, the frustration of knowing I will never get the answer to some of the things I would love to know.

AlieOxon Tue 09-Aug-16 17:23:22

Thanks Kitty

petra Tue 09-Aug-16 19:32:08

No regrets. The first 18 years were crap but from then on ( with a few blips) I've had a wonderful life. Being selfish, I wish that my daughter had had her children earlier ( first at 35) but as I say, that's me being selfish.
Re self confidence: I have it in spades, I could give some to some of you smile I passed this on to my daughter and she passed it on to her daughter. Now we have ended up with a force of nature. She is 6. Yesterday she walked up to a woman in the changing area of the swimming pool and told her that she couldn't wear shoes in this area.

morethan2 Tue 09-Aug-16 20:06:27

AlieOxon I wish I could say somthing to help, oh the longing in your short sentence. My regrets are nothing in comparison. flowers

DaphneBroon Tue 09-Aug-16 22:58:36

My one regret was that my Mum who was a championship level swimmer in her youth never taught me to swim. Or took me swimming. OK I had lessons at Secondary school (once a week, Summer term) and just about managed a breadth of the pool, but to this day I am scared of water, would never go into a pool for pleasure, am petrified of being out of my depth and basically avoid it at all costs
I even tried adult swimming lessons at my gym a few years ago which went well for about 4 weeks then our teacher said he was taking us to bigger and deeper pool to learn how to tread water and I just didn't go back.

rosesarered Tue 09-Aug-16 23:12:10

One thing would not be enough! I would have to go back to about age 5 and keep changing things constantly.

rosesarered Tue 09-Aug-16 23:12:34

So may as well accept the way things are.

Jalima Tue 09-Aug-16 23:35:43

You can still do it DaphneBroon - some pools have lessons for swimmers who are afraid of the water; your teacher shouldn't have made you do that so soon.
Apparently Adam Peaty was so afraid of the water when he was young that he refused to sit in the bath, his mother had to wash him standing up!

Nelliemoser Wed 10-Aug-16 00:02:10

Shyness and my Dyslexia which held me back so much at school.
(Or the dyslexia and poor writing etc added to the shyness lack of confidence.)

Learning I was dyslexic via the OU in my 50s did wonders for my self confidence. I knew then I was really quite intelligent and the failures were not my fault.

Bebe47 Thu 11-Aug-16 21:27:02

I wish I had never let my first born and only daughter be adopted in the 60's when I Was an unmarried mother at 17.

JessM Thu 11-Aug-16 22:14:07

Oh - that is sad. Has she ever made contact?