Asperger grandson not invited to party

I think it was decent of the probably embarassed party mum to tell the OP's daughter why she wasn't inviting the little boy. The reasons given—having to restrict numbers (because of space or cost?) and thinking the child (whom she knows a little, presumably, from the kids' friendship) would not enjoy the party—are not unkind. The party mum needn't have said anything, but she did. I bet it was difficult for her.

I find this thread distressing as , as I said previously this happened to my GD. This then developed into her best friend of 5 yrs shunning her and most of the girls in her class bullying her. This has now been resolved but not before GD had an horrendous , heartbreaking year at school. Now the Ed. Psych is involved the school is doing more for her.
The GS of the original poster will have, I pray, a better time. Boys are much easier in their friendships and he seems to have a good friend. Hope al goes well

Sorry to hear this*BBbevan*.There is some research that girls actually learn to disguise and cope with their condition as they get older better than boys so I hope this will be the case for your GD. Part of me feels they shouldn't have to, and they ought to be accepted for who they are but that is not the sort of world we live in unfortunately.

Sad isn't it that these children have to confront such problems so early in their lives. Like redf8235 I feel very angry on behalf of all these wonderful, individual children.

Sorry but i don't buy the decent party Mum bit she knew the little lad as they had been friends for three years and attended each others parties on other occasions She didn't want him there, lets be truthful, it wasn't decent of her to make up excuses, why would she drop one child out of a group of little friends? She saw him as a possible problem and didn't want to take a chance, ok her right to choose who she wants at the party, but unless the little boys had fell out and it doesn't sound like they had she should have kept the little group of friends together and treated them the same.
Its this business of treating a child differently for whatever reason that makes me cross all they need is to be treated as one of the group to be accepted for their differences blooming boring old world if we all did the same

And there was no obvious restrictions of numbers.12 were invited. What difference would 13 have made ? There is usually one who is ill on the day or forgets to come because their life is a social whirl ! I agree that these different children are a breath of fresh air.They give us glimpses of the world we are often not conscious of.

Fortunately in many cases of kids with autism being treated differently the kids themselves are quite oblivious, particularly when they are younger. They don't necessarily want to join in.
My grandson has friends round and then goes off and does his own thing. If they want to join in with him, they can, but he's not going to do something different because he doesn't need to.
At 14, his friends know what he is like, so join in with him.