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Unhappy starting school

(131 Posts)
SusieB50 Thu 15-Sep-16 18:42:07

Can anyone help/ advise me how to help a distressed daughter ? Her eldest has just started school where she attended nursery quite happily . All was fine last week when she finished at lunchtime ,but this week it's all day and she had to be peeled off DD yesterday sobbing that she didn't want to stay . Poor DD was in tears too . She said the class teacher looks a bit stern ,but the teaching assistant is very smiley. She foolishly went and peeped into the playground at lunch time and DGD was just sitting on a bench looking very unhappy . SiL took her this morning but it was no better . They are not allowed to come home for lunch which I think is a bit harsh. DGD is very shy with new people but otherwise a bubbly happy child . It's so sad to see them all upset like this .

SusieB50 Sun 11-Dec-16 18:24:00

Just thought I would do a quick update on my DGD and her unhappy start to school in September. Well she has now settled well, starting to read and says has made 4 friends ! She doesn't talk much apparently but teacher says she seems happy enough. She still says she wants to stay at home every Monday but no tears . Thank you all for your support and suggestions .😊

barbarafyles Mon 19-Sep-16 10:52:02

Poor little thing will be feeling absolutely exhausted after attending school for a full day, so she need peace and love when she comes home. As an EY teacher of 30years I often came across a situation where a child thought that once they started school they had to stay there. Make sure your little one understands that you'll be coming to collect her later. This may sound obvious to you. but you're not an exhausted four year old. More great ideas here
...and here

jinglbellsfrocks Mon 19-Sep-16 10:05:58

W h e n h a s a n y o n e p o s t e d l i k e t h i s j a l i m a ?

durhamjen Sun 18-Sep-16 22:54:31

My grandson is on the autistic spectrum, icanhandthemback.
The inspections are good because they can see why he is on the spectrum. I was there as well, as I teach him more than his mother. He's 14, by the way, and we stick to a curriculum that suits him and his interests.
He's learning about the American constitution because of the elections over there, and the Civil War with his mum. He knows far more than either of us about what happened where, because he loves driving his truck simulator all over the states. He knows the capitals of each state as well as the cities with the biggest populations. He likes lists.

Jalima Sun 18-Sep-16 22:45:44

w h y d o p e o p l e k e e p p o s t i n g l i k e t h i s ?

icanhandthemback Sun 18-Sep-16 21:47:19

We have someone in the family who home educates and she will allow the Inspector to see the children's work but not the children themselves because they are on the AS so she says they get unsettled. Personally, I think that the children should be checked in some way but she has the right to say no. As for the curriculum, many parents don't follow the National Curriculum because it is so restrictive and that is why their children aren't in school. I think parents should provide a curriculum to the LA and be asked to provide evidence this has been successful. It is too airy fairy at the moment although I suspect that most parents give a better education than a lot of schools.

notanan Sun 18-Sep-16 21:05:38

If he's in England that is, it's not the same in other parts of the UK.

notanan Sun 18-Sep-16 21:05:00

My home educated grandson had an inspection during the school holidays

That'll be because either his parents agreed to the optional inspection
Or there were other concerns

You do not routinely need to agree to inspection.

Elrel Sun 18-Sep-16 12:21:23

We had a brief visit, in the '70s from a school welfare officer (Wag man?) who chatted for a few minutes, ascertained a qualified teacher was involved and said 'No, you don't want to send a nice little girl like her to a school like that!' The school wasn't the reason she was home educated anyway.
Later that 'little girl' decided to go to the school, made plenty of friends and passed her O levels at 'that school'.

Jalima Sun 18-Sep-16 10:58:15

That is good and quite right, djen

I find it a bit worrying that it is not compulsory to have an inspection, particularly after the case of that child in Wales who died.

durhamjen Sun 18-Sep-16 10:53:40

My home educated grandson had an inspection during the school holidays.
His work was inspected, he talked to the ed psych, and sent work into the council.
The inspector was in the house for three hours.
His home education was deemed to be satisfactory for him.

I wonder what other parents would say to their children having three hours of one to one inspection.

obieone Sun 18-Sep-16 08:57:39

My post of 21.54 is what you are saying notanan. Your posts are agreeing, but never mind.

rubylady Sun 18-Sep-16 07:15:50

Have you been a home educator notanan?

notanan Sat 17-Sep-16 22:42:22

Some facts/laws, incase they're of interest to anyone whose DCs or DGCs don't settle in he school setting:

notanan Sat 17-Sep-16 22:38:58

Visits are not statutory or compulsory, nor is any form of registration as a home educator. You are only known to be home educating if you either voluntarily let your LA know, or if you have been in education and have de-registered. If you never registered in the first place for reception intake there is no statutory requirement to register with anyone in England.

Even if registered and visited, home educators absolutely do not have to follow any curriculum, let alone the national one.

Similar to how the police are there to keep the community safe, but this does not mean they inspect all of our homes for evidence of criminal activity.

Whether or not you agree with this is a derailment of the thread, I posted to offer the option incase it had not been considered, if people want to post their opinions on the current law in relation to HE then probably start another thread.

As it stands, you don't need to register as HE, if you de-register from a school you will be registered as HE, you may be contacted by the LA, but in the absense of any other issues such as SS involvement, whether or not you have anything to do with the LA is entirely up to the individual family.

Penstemmon Sat 17-Sep-16 22:25:26

notanan Local Authorities have a statutory duty to ensure children, who are educated outside the school system, are meeting the National Curriculum expectations. Parents may choose to do this in all kinds of ways. It is also a Local Authority statutory duty to ensure the child is safe physically and emotionally. Most home educated children are very well cared for and learn well but there are cases when children are supporting the needs of parents at home, e.g. parents with mental health illnesses or who are home'educated' to avoid being excluded. It is a form of neglect, in my opinion, not to support a child to achieve their home or in school.

notanan Sat 17-Sep-16 22:01:19

I agree with you notanan that not all Local Authorities check very well that home schooled children are educated decently

I didn't say that, I said that there is no obligation to be checked by anyone if you home educate, it's entirely optional, you can decline.

You can get places post reception, they just might not be instant in your chosen school, but if you're happy to wait a few months you can do it that way. Or if you want an instant place you go through the council for an allocated place.

obieone Sat 17-Sep-16 21:54:24

But it is taking a big chance that there will be a school place when the child is 8 or 9, where the parent would want them to go.

I agree with you notanan that not all Local Authorities check very well that home schooled children are educated decently.

notanan Sat 17-Sep-16 21:31:45

Nope, I just don't see why a school inspection system would be fit for purpose for inspecting home educators.

Anyway, this isn't about the pros and cons of HE, I just put it on the table as many people still genuinely think school is compulsary from 5 and it's good to know your options. (especially myths are being posted about it such as compulsory LA inspection)

If you read my posts you'll see that I said it's and option that's probably not even going to be needed as it's still quite early in the term and not settling now doesn't mean they won't settle, but not all do settle, and for those who don't, HE is a valid option.

Jalima Sat 17-Sep-16 21:13:00

You seem to have a very cynical view of schools notanan

notanan Sat 17-Sep-16 20:27:19

There are no prescribed way one should or shouldn't home educate.
Because if the prescribed way worked then a lot of those kids would be in school wouldn't they?

notanan Sat 17-Sep-16 20:25:56

And no, you do not have to have "checks" to home educate in England, you can if you wish liase with a HE rep from the LA, but it's entirely optional

notanan Sat 17-Sep-16 20:25:09

I think local authorities do check that home schooled children are being educated decently.

Which authorities? the authorities who are cutting all subjects right down unless they're English, Maths and Science, and god help anyone whose aptitudes lie elsewhere?

notanan Sat 17-Sep-16 20:23:55

I wasn't thinking of children recently moved to the area. Of course they have to be found places for. At whichever school can accommodate them

Thats only one of the 2 options for post reception entry, whether is area movers or ex home schoolers

You can go now at a place found for you by the council, it might not be at your nearest or prefered school
Or, if you have a particular school in mind, you can go on their wait list and go there when someone leaves/moves

jinglbellsfrocks Sat 17-Sep-16 20:23:55

roastchicken (means got to go now. not cooking dinner)