Will try and précis this
My partner of 20 years middle aged daughter has some major personal issues of resentment and unhappiness and still not accepted parents divorce 20"years ago
She dudnt speak to father for 6? Years and wouldn't have him to her wedding
Her husband is controlling they live a very structured life avoiding any element of risk or fun.
Since then we have built bridges - we don't see each other much but we talk in phone regularly - she and her husband and son are becoming more and more insular and she is no longer close to her brother and his family
She is close to her mother but they have a very difficult relationship- she is a very difficult controlling woman who Is still full of hate fir my partner and constantly puts her daughter down
So ...recently at a big birthday event at my house her behaviour was such that the whole weekend was ruined - she was bitter resentful didn't interact stopped her son from joining in with other children they had ice cream he wasn't allowed - th he watched a cartoon he couldn't.none of us agree with how they bring up their child who is cosseted and overprotected yet they are really strict with him and deprive him .
Since the weekend nobody has been able to fix this because she is not willing - she is controlled by her husband and she is so unhappy but she has blamed the whole weekend on me - resulting in her and hubby and son packing up and leaving late at night - as I slightly snapped at her when she criticised something I was doing for the umpteenth time - every body know she was at fault the whole weekend - it was truly awful
Her father has tried to make th peace and they have had limited contact ( he works abroad currently)Anyway I have asked her( texted pleasantly ) what grandson would like for his birthday as they do not allow him many toys -and received A very formal email requesting a bow and arrow - quite a serious one - metal etc.
I don't agree with buying this at all
They are trying to toughen up a child who does not even know what a robot is and is never allowed to play spontaneously - they control everything he does and almost force feed him ( he was a precious ivf baby so I understand the psychology behind this) so ...
Do I buy it ? Before the fall,out I would have had a chat and asked her about it and said what I felt
Am I going to try to get back at her by not doing it
Plus I have never forgiven her for not having her father at her wedding !
I would not buy this for my grandsons or any child of seven
So.....what to do
Ps we will never fix this issue with her as I think she is never going to admit there's anything wrong -it's far more complex than my post
Ultimately We worry about the little boy - he is starting to get resentful of his parents saying they don't let him do anything he wants to do . He is not a happy child
Lostmyglassesxx Sun 09-Oct-16 14:28:25
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Izabella Wed 02-Nov-16 17:39:09