I'm going under....

Also re your mothers AMD, have a chat with your local Blind Association. There may well be clubs/groups etc that could help her.

Have a lovely time away

Flower of the west sounds like you might live up my neck of the woods I m just up the road from ' Wobbles wick' enjoy the sea might be a bit breezy but a nice way to relax
Good luck

Enjoy!

Feeling a little better thanks. Off to beach hut in Walberswick tomorrow for a few days.

Lovely photos. Hope you're feeling a little less overloaded and able to just sit calmly stroking these nice cats and just breathing!

Ahh, a contented cat.
How about you flower ? I hope you are feeling better too.

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Thank you all for kind words and encouragement. Pippin si much more relaxed. No scratching.

Good advice, Nana3. I ought to follow it. flower, Pippin is a handsome cat and I hope he appreciates his makeover.

Lovely photo of sweet cat.
When events and things to do overwhelmed me I promised myself to do 1 thing a day. Even a small thing like making a phone call counted. I wrote down what I'd done that day. Somehow this gave me the will to get through and not go under.
All the best to you Flower

Well Done!! Pippin looks like a lovely little cat.

I don't know if this will help for next time (I only just saw your thread) but when our young, slight lady vet came to give an injection to our cat many years ago she removed her overalls (she had trousers underneath), arranged them with the top and one leg hole open, caught up the cat, lifted the overalls with one hand and deftly poured the cat down the leg hole. Fred's head and neck appeared out of the bottom of the leg and his body was neatly pinned. Much better than the wrap-in-a-towel method and I did the same after that when it was worm pill time.

Don't worry about the state of your mum's house if she's not concerned. At 92 a bit of muck can be excused. My grandfather's house was the same. All we could do was quietly clean the worktops while the kettle boiled. He refused any help and complained bitterly if anyone tried to tidy up and he couldn't find something. Being independent was far more important to him.

It looks like your challenge for today is sorting the spare room enough to be able to retreat to the spare bed and get some sleep! (If you move room it may help to persuade your DH to make a doctor's appointment!)

Phew! That looks more like you cornered a tiger Good start!

What's your 'must do' for today? X

Oh flower so much good advice for you on here. Witter all you like. I know that it helps. It is silly that we feel so guilty when we feel down so why do we do it? Hope the in your life gets stronger soon.

That's such an achievement flower. Pippin will be grateful - one day

please keep the lists short and manageable and enjoy those achievements. Hope you can get to the doctor.

Well done for catching the cat Flower! ?? They really are hard to treat? I still have the scars from years of it.

The effects of radiotherapy are so often underestimated compared to chemo but they are very real as I know from experience. Your poor DH has obviously been traumatised by the whole cancer thing, and like many men, keeps it all inside. It sounds like he really needs some sort of talking therapy. Agree that GP is the first port of call.

I agree with the list thing as long as it is manageable!

You have received a lot of great advice from our wise ones on here. I have nothing to add except a big hug, and the reminder that this will pass! Hang on in there. Life is a bitch sometimes and you have had a lot to cope with recently. Thinking of you.

Oh well done. Catching a cat for treatment is a nightmare. It's quite a good idea to lift the spirits writing down anything you've achieved in a day. A little notebook by the bed and jot down groomed the cat,phoned GP ,read a book. However little or great it's an achievement worth noting. I tend to do it when life seems to get on top of me. What about sleeping tablets for you. I use Nytol when in need of a decent nights sleep as DH has cramp at night and makes a dreadful fuss.

Step One
Tick!

(it's for your own good, Pippin)

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Pippin caught after traumatic (for all of us) de flea, treated chin, groomed. He is now recovering in carrier. DH and I recovering with a cuppa. Pics of dismantled spare room and Pippin recovering.

A step at a time; first sort the cat
Then try to persuade your DH to get some help with his sleep so that you can sleep too.
Your mother sounds as if she sees any 'help' as 'interference' - she sounds very independent! You can only do what she will accept.

Have a nice break away from it all
I would say but, like me, you say you have put on weight recently.

As others have said, getting some good quality sleep on a regular basis will be a really good start in beginning to feel better. Hope you can find a way to do this.

Thank you Katy and Jalima. He too was very stoic and just got on with the treatment. Radiotherapy. No op. His was low on the scale and has now gone. This was only a year after recovering from 6 weeks in ICU after a cardiac arrest followed by pneumonia. .A truly horrible time. He cannot remember any of it except the hallucinations. I remember every detail. This was just a year after my kidney removal due to cancer. Since then we have had a very tiny premature DGD. 26 weeks gestation. She is over a year now and no problems. A worry though at the time. I feel exhausted thinking about it.

I agree Jalima It has to come out somewhere I think.

I agree KatyK; he is probably coping in the day time - he is the most wonderful husband and grandpa which is wonderful, but perhaps all his fears and worries are coming out from his sub-conscious at night.
Sorry, I'm not a therapist either, and it is just a theory.

Can I just say something you probably already know? My DH has had prostate cancer and has recently been told he is in remission. We too shuld be over the moon (and we are very grateful) but he is a different man now. His confidence has totally gone. He never once complained or said 'why me' he just got on with the (sometimes gruelling) treatment. It is only now that he seems unable to cope with the smallest thing. He is jumpy and sometimes looks like a rabbit caught in the headlights over the smallest thing. During treatment, we were told that a great percentage of patients who come through cancer suffer with loss of confidence or even depression. I was just thinking re your DH's restless nights flower that even though he is not consciously feeling low, maybe it has affected him in this way. Sorry to sound like a therapist!

Sometimes troubles seem to come along on top of one another and it all gets too much.
I agree that your DH needs to see the GP about his nocturnal terrors and wanderings. It could be a symptom of something else, or it could just be that he is anxious. I used to sleep walk but I don't think I do any more and my DC have had night terrors when they are worried about things - none of us remember!

You could try to persuade your DM to take the advice of the eye specialists, but as for cleaning etc, I wouldn't get too wound up about it, you can only do your best to make sure it is not too unhygienic.

Can your DH help you catch the cat and hold him while you treat him? Can he be tempted by something?

Best wishes, don't get too stressed - stress is not good for you!

flower How I sympathise. You have a lot on your plate. Without jumping on the bandwagon, I feel the same much
of the time. I sometimes think to myself 'how much can one person take'. I think going to the beach will do you good.