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Does he have a bit on the side?

(176 Posts)
NannieJulie Thu 01-Dec-16 22:49:51

Hubbie has been the nicest to me lately than all our married life. I put it down to the fact that he was getting wiser with age! Yesterday i found something on the floor where he gets changed. It was a torn off piece of cardboard that you get on a new bra with hanger and on the back was 'spirit' jaquered lace back in cream written in my husbands hand writing. I can 100% say this was not something he would be buying me for Xmas. My thoughts are he is buying it for someone else. What would you think and do?

Lovey Sun 08-Jan-17 20:15:44

NannieJ, I'm so sorry. Hide the money at work and watch him squdge about. Secretly get ready, just in case.

Fairydoll2030 Mon 02-Jan-17 16:44:54

Yes, I did,say I hoped it wasn't a wind up but sorry I don't follow your train of thought!

Of course no-one would wish *NanJulie's situation on anyone but, as she took the trouble to post about it on an internet forum, we must assume it's genuine.

Otherwise, whats the point of it all?

FarNorth Mon 02-Jan-17 16:18:22

I did not suggest it was a windup. Others did that including yourself, Fairydoll2030.
If it was one, so what.

Why would you hope that it definitely wasn't a windup and that NannieJulie is genuinely a person going through this horrible experience?

Fairydoll2030 Mon 02-Jan-17 16:08:08

Or maybe it was a windup,so what

A strange comment if I may say so. If someone comes on a forum, sets out their situation and asks for advice, then we have to assume its a genuine 'situation.' Otherwise, what is the purpose of Ask A Gran??

NanJulie's situation probably resonated with a few of us and so sympathy and suggestions were given freely.

You are possibly correct in that she may still be sorting out what to do but one would hope that it most definitely wasnt a wind up.

FarNorth Sun 01-Jan-17 08:38:47

Some people work shifts, Fairydoll, or may be asked to do unusual hours from time to time.

Maybe nothing has changed, as the OP wanted to keep things calm over Xmas.

Or maybe she is now involved in sorting out a disastrous life situation and doesn't have time to think of updating a bunch of grannies on the internet.

Or maybe it was a wind up, so what.

starbird Sun 01-Jan-17 04:08:20

Or maybe there was another explanation and OP doesn't want to admit she's wrong - but we'd all be delighted for her of course.

Mair Sun 01-Jan-17 00:42:38

After the amount of advice and sympathy she received really hope it wasn't a wind up.

Given how grim the story is lets hope it was a windup!!!!tchconfused

Fairydoll2030 Sat 31-Dec-16 22:03:42

I did pick up on a couple of things that didn't add up.

OP said husband was home from work before her, had left things in the fridge etc and gone out again on 'overtime.' People usually don't come home first before doing overtime.

Further, one day he got home 'earlier than usual' (OP speculated that the 'girlfriend' was on holiday). She questioned him about it and he put it down to less traffic. That sounds like she was always home from work before him.

Oh gawd - I should really get a life instead of analysing what could be a load of nonsense!

Doesn't really add up but I guess we have to give the OP the benefit of the doubt. After the amount of advice and sympathy she received really hope it wasn't a wind up.

ajanela Sat 31-Dec-16 20:23:28

I have just seen this post and read just nanniejulie posts with a few other posts in between

I think it is a hoax. The Chinese meal he left her in the fridge with the Christmas tree and flowers. 3000 pounds in the draw, etc it just kept building up.

I hope I am right or otherwise good luck Julie.

shysal Fri 30-Dec-16 08:08:38

I hope that the silence means she has not yet confronted him , and is going to get her financial ducks in a row first.

nigglynellie Thu 29-Dec-16 16:51:11

Surely not!! Mind you, the business with the bra sounds slightly strange! Perhaps winding people up to the point that as well as sympathy, they divulge their own personal ups and downs is considered funny? I sincerely hope not!

Fairydoll2030 Thu 29-Dec-16 16:01:32

NannyJulie. WHERE ARE YOU??

No updates ...... please don't say this was a wind up - not after all the sympathy and advice.

aquagran Thu 29-Dec-16 15:47:22

Do you think we will ever find out? I wonder if it was true?

carerof123 Mon 26-Dec-16 08:13:25

did you find out about who the bra was for, mentioned in the original post?? Really hope all turns out well for you.

AlgeswifeVal Sun 25-Dec-16 11:17:21

I think I would wait longer before confronting him, check out his moods, make a note of when he goes out and with whom.. Basically do some detective work first. Gather evidence. The go for the anti climax.

f77ms Sun 25-Dec-16 08:47:42

Just to add - I am much happier if poorer , I hope things work out for you x

f77ms Sun 25-Dec-16 08:46:32

Nanniejulie, I know this will sound mercenary but get as much information now about finances . I came out of my marriage with very little , even had to borrow a large amount to buy him out of our house . He was not truthful about his finances and think he must have had a large amount in a separate account gauging from his extravagant lifestyle after the divorce . You have to look after yourself , I was too eager to be `fair` and left myself in difficult circumstances xx

Lisalou Sun 25-Dec-16 07:25:27

Thinking of you and wishing you a Merry Christmas. I hope you are ok xx

mcem Sat 24-Dec-16 22:39:55

Thinking of you. Been there and done it and survived. Perfectly happy now and if push comes to shove, you will be too.??

grandma60 Sat 24-Dec-16 21:42:17

NannieJulieflowers

Grannyben Sat 24-Dec-16 20:15:24

Me too xx

grannypiper Sat 24-Dec-16 17:36:58

NannieJulie flowers and love

chelseababy Sat 24-Dec-16 16:43:54

Thinking of you too as I listen to I PM on radio 4 about a woman who has discovered her husband's 3 year affair. So sorry.

BlueBelle Sat 24-Dec-16 15:07:04

I m with you too ?

starbird Sat 24-Dec-16 10:51:07

Thinking of you too *Nannie Julie have been checking every day for updates, I hope you are coping with the outcome whatever it may be. Hoping 2017 will bring you peace and happiness.